At THAT Point

ASTARNICH · April 2014

Some of you always knew you wanted to have multiple children, some always knew they only wanted one, and some for whatever there circumstance didn't have a choice one way or the other.

I'm at a point where me and my DH are considering more kids. We currently have one DD (16mos), and she is the best thing that has ever happen to us.

I basically want some opinions on how others feel about having an only child versus siblings, or if there was something that persuaded you one way or the other.

TIA

EandIMommy86 · April 2014

We knew from the jump we did not want to have just one child, but we did not want to have a ton either. We did not want more than three, however, if we got one of each back to back we would stop. We have two, a girl and a boy and they are 15.5 months apart. We wanted it that way so that they would always have someone to play with and we also wanted to have them together so that we did not drag it out. We are done and realize we would not be able to deal with a 3rd. We got exactly what we wanted so it was not a hard decision for us.

woohoo02 · May 2014

Jumping over from A13 ...

My older DS is 9 years old. For years, we wanted another child. But after years of trying (and ultimately leaving it in the hands of God), we resigned to the fact that we were going to be "one and done." Then, September of 2012 I got a BFP, and now we have a beautiful one year old daughter as well.

Initially, I was always of the mindset that I wanted 3 kids. But now that my DH and I are "older" (I'm 36 and he turns 40 this year), we're thinking that 2 this far spaced apart might be our ideal. We're not completely shooting down the idea of another just yet, but we're not holding our breaths either since it took so long between the first two.

For what it's worth, it works perfectly for our family and I wouldn't change a thing.

jasminelorraine20 · May 2014

SO and I agree that we only want our one child. SO has a DD from a previous relationship, and we're both adament about not having anymore. Financially, we would not be able to do as much with more children as we can with DS. Also, I can't see myself starting all over again. DS is almost 2 and it is only getting easier and more fun. Maybe one day I'll change my mind, but I'm very content with my one. If I ever had another, DS would have to at least be in school.

Kissty · May 2014

I always knew I only wanted 1. I myself am an only child. I would not know how to handle sibling rivalries and all the other things that come with having multiples. Financially it is also better for us. And we too are on the "older" side. I enjoy sleep too much to do this again. And I work long hours and have a long commute so the little time I have DS I want to be for "him".

hollygb22 · May 2014

When we got married, Dh wanted more kids than I did. Our deal was always, let's have a child, see how we do and then make the decision for more.

It took us 2.5 yrs to conceive DD#1 and we had to use fertility specialists to do so. We never thought we'd have any issues etc.

Once DD was here, we knew we wanted another and time wasn't likely on our side. The factors for us..I'm one of 3 girls and extremely close with my siblings and wanted one for her. I hate to say it, but we're probably done at 2. Financially, etc it's making the most sense for us.

ashiscute · May 2014

I always knew that I wanted 2 or 3 children. DH always wanted 2 so having one would only have been an option for us due to a medical reason. My DD was only 19.5 mos when DS was born (not planned) and I spent the entire pregnancy feeling so guilty and terrible about stealing away "her time" and convinced I would never love the baby as much as I loved her. Then DS was born and honestly most of the guilt went away.

Now my kids are 3 and 19 mos and they play together all of the time, share snacks, want to sit by each other at restaurants. They are tiny best friends and it is so fun to watch them. Yes sometimes they both want me at the same time and sometimes they fight but the good far outweighs the bad.

ASTARNICH · May 2014

Thanks for all the feedback ladies. I am really going to have to sit down with DH and talk this through. I have so many feelings both ways.

Crequito · May 2014

DH and I have always said we wanted 2 kids, maybe 3. Before DD I was all ready to have them 1-2 years apart. Now that we have DD we're both ok with waiting a little longer before trying for #2. DD just turned 1 and we've decided to revisit the "are we ready" question when she turns 2 next April. We're really enjoying everything we get to do with DD and all of her 1st time experiences and we both can't see how we'd function with another LO, so we're happy to put it off a while longer.

SunAndRain · May 2014

Dh and I didn't prevent pregnancy for 3 years before I became pregnant with #1. So we figured that it would be unlikely I would get pregnant again but we left it up to fate. I went back and forth between really wanting another and feeling like I can't handle anything more. Plus I turn 40 this year and I'm feeling like my health would really suffer if I were to go through another year of raising an infant- note my pregnancy was wonderful.

The worst part for me is that DD won't have a sibling. But worse that that would be me being a shadow of a parent because I'm too sleep deprived to be of use to anybody. I'm sure we would get through it and come out fine but I do think that nature has a way of making things work out the way that is best for all.

So for me it really comes down to my age. If we got started five or ten years ago then going for a second would be a no brainer.

I don't think i will ever be 100% at peace with being one and done. But I choose to focus on what we do have - which when I look at our lives is an unimaginable blessing - and making the most of it.

jess9802 · May 2014

We want one more baby together. I think I want the baby more than DH, who has a teenage son from his first marriage. He says he would be okay if having another didn't work out. I know I will not be okay with not trying. We'd planning on TTC this fall, but due to some career changes I think we're going to wait another year. That would put the kids 4 years apart, which wasn't my ideal spacing, but it is what it is.

christinasullie37 · May 2014

We always knew we only ever wanted one but that is very slowly changing for me. But or finances are dictating only one for now and I am 40 so age is another big factor.

MrsStanger · May 2014

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