SO's Reaction to Feeling the Baby for the First Time

dlems11 · April 2014

I have been feeling this little girl for the last three weeks and have been dying for DH to be able to feel her too! We have spent many nights on the couch with his hand glued to my belly hoping for some action strong enough to get through. Although I will admit it was much more excitement on my part, DH would probably be excited for the first 2 minutes then lose focus while watching TV, so when the baby did kick he would say he didn't feel it, leading into an argument about him not paying attention... Anyways back to the story!
This morning this little girl was much more active than ever so I woke up DH to take a feel. After a few really good kicks, still no reaction. I looked at him and said "I know you can feel her from the outside now, there is definitely something wrong with you", to which he replied "Oh no, I could feel her", followed by me excitedly exclaiming "AND?!?!"
"I wonder what she is doing in there..."
END.
Anyone else less than thrilled about their DH's reaction? I just thought he would be more excited!

an02102 · April 2014

I know dh never believed me with our first that he felt the baby. But I also had an anterior placenta and all movement was muffled. I have been feeling this one constantly and have even felt him on the outside but of course dh is never around when it happens. But with guys once they start feeling it then it becomes real and they might be thinking of all the responsibilities this means or they just are not ones to get excited about every little thing.

HorseLover11 · April 2014

I'm also super excited for DH to feel baby move, but he taking it all in and not overly excited to feel movement. I think he's just taking it one day at a time trying to mentally prepare for the baby to be here so I think he'd like this pregnancy to be extended! Lol

aliciak316 · April 2014

My husband was so excited when DD kicked him all throughout the pregnancy, it was so cute. Well fast forward to this pregnancy he finally felt DS kick for the first time last night. He had absolutely no reaction. He was playing a game on the iPad so I asked didn't you feel that!?! He just said yes without even looking up! He tried to convince me he was excited but I'm still a little disappointment, I atleast wanted a smile!

punnybunny · April 2014

Haha! This happened for us too. I think I was way more excited that he could feel it than he was. I asked him, "isn't that cool?" and he said, "uh huh". Of course, maybe I just shouldn't expect much reaction from him. He gave me a high five when I told him I was pregnant.

EscoMama · April 2014

Aw, I'm sorry he was such a stick in the mud!
My DH felt our LO for the first time last night and he was so excited. He had his arm around me and she started kicking at him and I asked if he could feel it. Just as he started to say say no, she kicked real hard and he gasped. He sat that way for a good 10 minutes just feeling her kick and afraid to move.
:x

whataboutscience · April 2014

DH spent maybe 10 minutes one night and when I definitely felt a kick, I asked if he felt it. He said, "That's it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I felt it." I've asked if he wants to try to feel it again since and he says we can wait until it's stronger. I thought he would be more excited too. He loves watching the baby during ultrasounds and telling people about them. I wonder if it's just too subtle for him to be confident he really felt the baby or not.

pshaortao · April 2014

I think a lot of moms to be have such high expectations for their DH/SO to be excited about feeling the kicks that it can become disappointing. When my DH felt one for the first time at 18wks, I got so excited and emotional. I really didn't think he would be able to feel anything for awhile longer. He ended up thinking it was cute how excited I got than the actual feeling of kicks haha. Sometimes I'll make a comment about her being active and he might put his band on my belly, but other times he won't bother.

jg1011 · April 2014

Mine is fascinated but it freaks him hit at the same time. I went through this when pregnant with DS too. He just doesn't feeling it but likes knowing it's happening.

And yes.... He's freaked out by a living thing growing inside me.... So he WONT touch me.... As in 9 months of abstinence. In going bat ass crazy! Lol!

AR1of2 · April 2014

How timely - my DH just felt the baby kick for the first time a few minutes ago! He didn't have the awestruck or ecstatic reaction I was hoping for, but I also woke him up from dozing to feel it because the kicks were so strong I knew he'd have a good chance. He sort of even shuddered and said something like "whoa" then rolled over and went right back to sleep. Usually he is happy to talk to the baby and touch "the baby" (my stomach), so I'll attribute this one to his sleep deprivation and give him another chance...

Ah, men.

Ecat504 · April 2014

I'm sorry for your negative reactions my so felt her while I was asleep. He had his hand on my stomach, felt her, then proceeded to shake me until I woke up to ask if her moving around so much bothered me... The irony.

Eta. Mobile bumping hates me

Djcieply · April 2014

DH really doesnt react much when he feels LO move. I know he wants to feel it because he seems disappointed when I tell him LO is moving and he tries to feel and they stop. Hes not big on showing emotion so Im not surprised by his reaction.

I wouldnt say your DH wasnt excited, I just think sometimes guys dont know how to express those feelings.

JSS1002 · April 2014

I had an anterior placenta last time so ti wasn't until the third tri that DH could even feel anything. But then it was so fun, we'd snuggle up on the sofa (by that point I was supposed to be doing kick counts), and he'd laugh every time he felt the baby move.

This time I am feeling tons of movement inside (posterior placenta this time!), but nothing outside yet... but I can't wait for him to be able to feel it, hopefully stronger and sooner this time!

ConversationFear · April 2014

Ok - am I doing something wrong because my little guy kicks all the time and I put my hand on my stomach and I can't even feel it on the outside - so how is my DH supposed to? Do you have to be super thin at this point or what?

JSS1002 · April 2014

ConversationFear said:

Ok - am I doing something wrong because my little guy kicks all the time and I put my hand on my stomach and I can't even feel it on the outside - so how is my DH supposed to? Do you have to be super thin at this point or what?

Probably just too early! Don't worry.

mrsdanielleM2010 · April 2014

jg1011 said:

Mine is fascinated but it freaks him hit at the same time. I went through this when pregnant with DS too. He just doesn't feeling it but likes knowing it's happening. And yes.... He's freaked out by a living thing growing inside me.... So he WONT touch me.... As in 9 months of abstinence. In going bat ass crazy! Lol!

Are we married to the same man?

JD83 · April 2014

I'm a little jealous you guys have actually felt your babies move. 19.5 weeks, still nothing. No movement, no bump, nothing. I have to use the fetal doppler just to make sure FOD is still there. DH is all disappointed that ninjababy is still in hiding.

Texasgurly0313 · April 2014

DH was so excited when he felt little man move the other day. He also saw my whole belly shake when LO was hiccuping.

JSS1002 · April 2014

JD83 said:

I'm a little jealous you guys have actually felt your babies move. 19.5 weeks, still nothing. No movement, no bump, nothing. I have to use the fetal doppler just to make sure FOD is still there. DH is all disappointed that ninjababy is still in hiding.

if it makes you feel any better, I really didn't feel anything until this past week and this is baby #2 for me. Maybe the occasional flutter once in a while -- but this week she is ON THE MOVE!

EscoMama · April 2014

ConversationFear said:

Ok - am I doing something wrong because my little guy kicks all the time and I put my hand on my stomach and I can't even feel it on the outside - so how is my DH supposed to? Do you have to be super thin at this point or what?

My DH felt it a couple nights ago, but I haven't been able to feel it from the outside yet. Mostly, it was because we were laying just right. I was on my back for a few minutes and his arm was draped across my stomach so he felt it with that tender part of the inside of the forearm. We couldn't replicate it yesterday. I think he was squishing her and she was fighting back!

Sicheyanne · May 2014

DH has felt the baby kick once, he had that cute in awe moment for a few seconds. Now that the kicks are getting a little bit stronger he doesn't act as interested. I'll tell him and he'll comment "that's cute" and hasn't tried to feel the kicks since.

It was bothering me pretty bad until our last ultrasound. I watched his face part of the time and I've never seen him look happier.

Men just deal with all of this differently than us.

jessicainkentucky · May 2014

My DH felt LO kick really strong for the first time last night. Normally if he's feeling for her he will take his hand off after just a couple minutes and go back to watching tv. Last night however after feeling her, he kept shaking around my belly to get her to move again and said, "Wake up Lulu, it's Daddy."

that's the first time he's referred to himself as dad with her and it was pretty sweet.

SmarieMcB84 · May 2014

Last night I put DHs hand on my belly in bed. He kept it there for a minute and took it away and said "cool"... I was like "you felt somthing? Bc I didn't...!" He was like "yeah". And then I was like "it freaks you out doesn't it?" He was like "yeah" (just reread this in Chers voice from clueless). He totally didn't feel anything, I think he was just trying to appease me.
Edited: mobile posted before done.

LSN8308 · May 2014

DH felt one of them kick for the first time. Considering he was always asking me are they kicking/moving yet all the time I thought when he finally felt it he would be more idk enthusiastic. But it went down like this. .

Me. . Here feel now. ..
DH. ..ohhh I felt one! Awh.. *moves hand and goes back to playing with his phone*

Lol I got he would at least keep his hand on there for a whole minute.

bainidhedub · May 2014

Last night was the first time I felt anything from the outside, so I told DH, "Hey, I think I just felt a kick, do you want to feel?" and his response was to start kicking me and asking if I was sure I felt anything.

Trish&Pete07 · May 2014

I have very lazy babies. I still haven't felt him/her move! I think DH only felt a baby kick twice in all 3 of my previous pgs. He gets freaked out by it kind of. He definetly doesn't like to think of a baby in there while doing the deed and I want it all the time closer to the end of pg. So I will compromise. He usually baby hogs while in the hospital too. If baby isn't eating, he is holding her.

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