Trouble TTC

And that makes seven (preg., loss, and children mentioned... not mine)

Well I am surrounded by fertile Myrtles. 

Currently I have seven pregnant or recently new mommies in my life (that I am aware of):
  • My estranged friend who recently had her fourth child. She was told after her 3rd that she should not have more (repeated C-sections). 
  • My bestie who is due in Sept/Oct. Pretty sure they were MFI. They were NTNP, and this was a surprise after many years of NTNP.
  • My DH friend's wife who is due in July (and REQUESTED that we throw their shower). They succeeded the month they ditched BC. 
  • My dearest friend who is a mother of a 2-year-old, suffered an ectopic pg last year, and LITERALLY just announced her pg to me (only three people including me know). 
  • My co-worker who simply decided she wanted more kids (she has 2 from a previous marriage), ovulated, and was pg. 
  • My cousin who has that clotting mutation who is pg with her 2nd child. She has to take shots to carry to term. 
  • My cousin who suffered at least 2 miscarriages last year just announced her pg via facebook. 
I feel surrounded. And these are JUST the ones that I know of... I was JUST getting my brain into the idea of hosting this shower, and I have had two pg announcements since sending out the invitations. I just want my chance. 

Sorry for the woe is me post. 
***Trigger Warning: Living and loss mentioned***

First TTC Journey: 

- Failed attempts at clomid with OB
- HSG with OB, nothing found
- Met with RE. Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy done on 08/04/2014. Results: Hymenal stenosis, minimal endometriosis, and PCOS
BFP #1: 11/26/2014, IT'S A BOY!

Re: And that makes seven (preg., loss, and children mentioned... not mine)

  • I'm sorry!!! I know how you feel, I have 14 pregnant co-workers!! Not to mention friends and Facebook friends who are also KU. I am surrounded but just try to keep my head above water. Remember, as difficult as it is, and even though you have had to wait longer than most, you will get your BFP. And your is really the only one that matters. I really try to separate myself emotionally from everyone's pregnancies and babies.



    ********Siggy/Ticker Warning***********



    Me (35) no known issues DH (37) MFI. TTC 21 months (24 cycles)
    Dx MFI with low to normal count, low motility, morphology 3%
    HSG normal, ultrasound and labs on me all normal. 

    1 cycle of Clomid 50mg and TI, unmonitored by OBGYN= BFN
    1 cycle of Clomid 50mg and IUI, unmonitored by OBGYN= BFN
    Started seeing an RE!!
    2 more cycles of clomid 50mg (great response), with IUI and Pregnyl trigger (4.8-8 mil good ones after wash) = all BFN
    1 cycle of clomid 50mg (3-7) followed by Follistim 75iu (7-11) + IUI = BFN
    December 2013 DH saw urologist and is taking Anastrozole, CoQ10, and L-Carnitine
    IUI #5 natural cycle (needed a med break) = BFN
    IUI #6 Follistim 75iu (CD3-10) + Pregnyl (CD11) + IUI (final count after wash 300K) = BFN
    IUI #7 Follistim 75iu (CD3-9) + Pregnyl (CD11) + IUI on 2/20 (post wash count 12.5 million)= BFN
    IUI cancelled (DH OOT) Clomid 50mg (CD3-7) 1 follicle +(not well timed) TI = BFN
    IUI #8 and last one!! Clomid 100mg (CD3-7) +OPK before US + IUI 4/17 (post wash 8.5 mil)= BFN

    Pre-IVF testing complete! SHG great and measurements taken! Labs for infectious diseases completed, FSH (5.4), TSH (1.6), Prolactin (11), AMH (2.6), Estradiol (40).

    Started BCP 5/29 and Lupron 6/11 prep for IVF #1! Started follistim 225u/day on 6/28. Monitoring on 7/2 >15 follicles measuring 11-14, E2 758. Monitoring on 7/5 all ready to go!! Great follicle sizes and lining is at 9. Tigger 7/5, ER 7/7 16R 9M 3F. Stimmed too fast in just 7 days. 7/10 3dt of 2 8-cell grade 2 & 4. 7/14 P4 >60.
    Holy crap BFP!!!
    Beta #1 (14dpo) 7/21 112 Beta #2 (16dpo) 7/23 286 a Beta #3 (18dpo) 7/25 761 Beta #4 (21dpo) 2631!!! Hold on tight little embies!!
      First Ultrasound 8/7- 1 perfect little bean with a beating heart 117bpm!! EDD 3/30.
    Second ultrasound 9/2 Little bean measuring a few days ahead with a heart rate of 161!



    PAIF/SAIF/All Welcome!

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    Pregnancy Ticker




    March 15 Siggy Challenge: You had one job

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  • I completely understand. It's so frustrating to see everyone around you get pregnant while you're just in the corner struggling. I'm sorry you're having a rough day (((HUGS)))
    Love 2010 | Marriage 2011 | TTC #1 since 2012
    PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
  • Thank you @lillovebug79

    I just had a moment where I was painfully aware of it all. 

    The upcoming shower doesn't really help either. I know that it is my fault for agreeing to host the thing, but I really felt cornered and I am TOO nice for my own good. 

    Less than a month... I can do this. 
    ***Trigger Warning: Living and loss mentioned***

    First TTC Journey: 

    - Failed attempts at clomid with OB
    - HSG with OB, nothing found
    - Met with RE. Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy done on 08/04/2014. Results: Hymenal stenosis, minimal endometriosis, and PCOS
    BFP #1: 11/26/2014, IT'S A BOY!
  • Thanks @theholmanherd

    I hate feeling envious. I want to feel joyous.

    It feels so wrong to be unhappy, but sometimes I cannot shake it. 
    ***Trigger Warning: Living and loss mentioned***

    First TTC Journey: 

    - Failed attempts at clomid with OB
    - HSG with OB, nothing found
    - Met with RE. Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy done on 08/04/2014. Results: Hymenal stenosis, minimal endometriosis, and PCOS
    BFP #1: 11/26/2014, IT'S A BOY!
  • jjgrl55jjgrl55 member
    Indeed, it sucks. I had about 10 women around me at one point who were all pregnant at once. 

    The good thing about the stories you shared is that it sounds like a lot of these people are achieving pregnancies despite IF and loss issues. That always gives me a smidge of hope, along with the jealousy.
    image
    image
    Me & DH: 24 Married: 5/11
    Started TTC: 12/12 Testing Started: 5/14
    Dx: Irregular Ovulation, possible PCOS
    Treatment starting July '14: Letrozole + Trigger + TI
    Surprise natural BFP right before starting meds!!!!!- EDD 3/7/15

  • Yes @jjgrl55

    My cousin with the gene mutation actually passed it on to her son, and because she went through it her younger sister was tested and it turns out that she has the same mutation. So thankfully her younger sister will get to skip the suffering that she experienced. 

    My friend with MFI is one of those now believers of "God's timing", or "move away / go on a trip", "just relax / don't try"... so that errrks me a bit. She does not really understand meds or treatment. 


    ***Trigger Warning: Living and loss mentioned***

    First TTC Journey: 

    - Failed attempts at clomid with OB
    - HSG with OB, nothing found
    - Met with RE. Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy done on 08/04/2014. Results: Hymenal stenosis, minimal endometriosis, and PCOS
    BFP #1: 11/26/2014, IT'S A BOY!
  • jjgrl55jjgrl55 member
    Yes @jjgrl55

    My cousin with the gene mutation actually passed it on to her son, and because she went through it her younger sister was tested and it turns out that she has the same mutation. So thankfully her younger sister will get to skip the suffering that she experienced. 

    My friend with MFI is one of those now believers of "God's timing", or "move away / go on a trip", "just relax / don't try"... so that errrks me a bit. She does not really understand meds or treatment. 


    Yeah... I have a friend like that who has been NTNP for 8 years because she believes in the whole "meant to be" thing. Which is great for her, so long as it keeps her emotionally stable, but can be a bit annoying when she throws it my way. Sorry, but I believe in science to fix my medical issues.
    image
    image
    Me & DH: 24 Married: 5/11
    Started TTC: 12/12 Testing Started: 5/14
    Dx: Irregular Ovulation, possible PCOS
    Treatment starting July '14: Letrozole + Trigger + TI
    Surprise natural BFP right before starting meds!!!!!- EDD 3/7/15

  • Exactly
    ***Trigger Warning: Living and loss mentioned***

    First TTC Journey: 

    - Failed attempts at clomid with OB
    - HSG with OB, nothing found
    - Met with RE. Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy done on 08/04/2014. Results: Hymenal stenosis, minimal endometriosis, and PCOS
    BFP #1: 11/26/2014, IT'S A BOY!
  • I teach in a school full of women and there are always at least two pg women every year. I feel so selfish not wanting to talk about babies with them or go to the baby showers. No one at work knows I'm even trying so it just feels awkward.

    Me-36
    DH -35
    Married in 2008
    Started TTC in 2011
    Began testing May 2014
    Test Results
    HSG- clear
    Hysteroscopy- clear
    SA- 11 mil count
    45% motility
    Diagnosis: MFI
    July 2014: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    August 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    September 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    May 2018 after long period of not trying, starting adoption process with family friend's newborn
    November 2018 Adoption complete!


  • So sorry about all that hitting you at once! It is nice, though, to see several PAIF stories in there. :)
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
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    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
  • I'm sorry you have all of that popping up around you. I can't even imagine. And who asks someone to tore a shower for them??!

    ::hugs::

    image
    Me: 30, PCOS-non IR, Annovulatory; DH: 31, SA normal :)
    Testing Completed! HSG Clear, Ovarian Reserve score 17, Elevated Testosterone, everything else normal so far
     Clomid 150mg + HCG + IUI #1 May/June 2014 (BFN)
    Clomid 150 mg + HCG + IUI #2 July 2014 (BFN)
    Femara 2.5mg + Estrace + HCG + IUI #3 Cancelled d/t no response
    Moving on to IVF with ICSI after break to lose weight.
    image

    My Ovulation Chart
  • AngM123AngM123 member
    I'm sorry. I understand, I feel like between work, friends, family, the internet, and strangers I encounter...I attract them. I relate to PP, my 30 min commute on the way home is usually when I get my daily tears out. Hugs to you!
    Me:30 DH:30 
    TTC since January 2013 
    Him: Excellent SA
    Me: 2 clear HSG's, perfect 28 day cycle with ovulation, all testing/blood work good
    1/23/14- **Surgery**
    Diagnosis: severe pelvic adhesions from stage 3/4 endo and old ruptured appendix
    RE Recommends IVF due to likely tubal damage
    IVF #1- November 2014 
                     Started stims 11/7. Antagonist Protocol
                     Trigger 11/17, HCG/Lupron
                     ER 11/19   27R/24m/14F
                     ET 11/24   1 little embie 
                     5 frosties!!! 
                     First ever BFP-  12/4 Beta #1: 35  12/8 Beta #2: 9  CP 

    FET #1- February 2015 



     

  • I completely understand how you feel. I am surrounded by them as well, my SIL, friends, cousins, co-workers.. They are just everywhere. It's hard cause I'm very happy for them but it's still like a gut punch :( I'm so sorry you are having a hard time

    Me (30) DH (31) Married 5/13, TTC since 2/13
    BFP #1 Blighted Ovum resulting in D&C on 11/1/13
    BFP #2 Ectopic Pg, lap surgery on 3/12/14, R tube removed

    BFP # 3, EDD 2/21/15 * please be our rainbow*
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