I hope this is it (BFP mentioned)

xc1148 · April 2014

So I'm praying IVF #1 was a success. We've had 3 good betas and an ultrasound, but I'm still paranoid as heck. I think I'll feel better after the next ultrasound. Anyway, I feel a mix of emotions, excited but it feels surreal and as noted above, still really, really nervous.

I wanted to post to thank you all for your support...I never posted a lot until recently (work doesn't really allow for it) but I was always lurking, and during my dark days of IVF knowing other people out there knew what I was going through would get me through bad IF days/weeks/months. To that end, here are some tips I hope can help.

1- Find a good RE. Really, if you have any doubts, switch. I have the best doctor. He's probably why I'm still paranoid, but he's so honest. He told me in our first meeting I might never get pregnant. It sounds bad, but it was a possibility and 10 months later, I know to believe what he says because he never sugarcoats things.

2- IVF is not that bad. We went straight from our unexplained diagnosis to IVF and it was the first time I felt in control of the situation. The 2ww is pure agony. My advice is to plan activities in the event of both good news/bad news. Feel free to ask me anything!!!

3- Anything can happen. 4 days before my beta, I woke up with the most painful menstrual cramps in a long time. Like the kind that made me get surgery for endometriosis. That was fun.

4- If people bother you, ignore them. I had a bad IF friend ("it took me a while too...6 months. just relax! stop eating soy.") so I didn't tell her when we moved to IVF. It was the best decision ever. No one understands, but some people are smarter than others, and it's worth preserving your sanity to only include kind people in your close circle.

5- Don't put your life on hold for IF. In the time we've been trying, we've been to the caribbean 3 times, israel, london twice, san francisco, denver, toronto, montreal, vegas, miami, etc. You can always cancel a plane ticket, but I'm so thankful I had those experiences with my husband, and it honestly probably helped us get through our medical issues.

I'll be praying and crossing my fingers, toes and everything else that you all succeed. I hope you all get BFPs because I truly believe going through IF makes people more appreciative of motherhood, more patient with its difficulties, and more thankful for a miracle that so many people take for granted.

The next time someone tells you about so-and-so who "just relaxed" and got pregnant, you say "oh yea? i know this girl who started IVF the day her company went through a re-organization and she got a new boss and she had to inject herself with lupron in a public bathroom and then she got cramps and was crying to the Lord at 3am on her living room floor the whole night. Then she stopped drinking water because she was scared to go to the bathroom for a few days because she didn't want to get her period. Then she had a breakdown at the dentist. She wasn't f---ing relaxed."