Wife Is Worried, Need Pregnancy/Parenting Book Recomendations

Musickak87 · May 2014

Okay, so I am posting for my wife because she has been very worried that we are now in 3rd trimester but thinks we have not been planning enough yet. Keep in mind the baby's nursery is 95 % complete and we will be starting to look at day cares in the next couple of weeks. What she is looking for is a book that covers various topics (like where to use a pacifier or not, to swaddle or not to swaddle -that is the question

rainydayluck · May 2014

I agree with PPs, but you are a little late on the daycare thing.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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Peanutz21 · May 2014

hopefully your daycare hunt won't be too bad - there are often long wait lists. if it makes you feel any better, i started scoping out the daycare i ended up with @ 18 weeks and made sure to ask about wait lists. when they told me there was none, i didn't "secure" my spot until 32 weeks with the deposit and form filling. i think it's area-dependent though. good luck.

as far as books i will also be FTM - i don't think any book will prepare like other PP have mentioned but i've thumbed through the Baby 411 book. i don't know how helpful it'll be but maybe it'll ease the anxiety a touch.

spacepotatoes · May 2014

If it's possible, I'd suggest looking into prenatal classes that include discussion of newborn care. We haven't had our baby yet but do feel a lot better prepared after the classes than we would otherwise. Topics covered included post partum mood and anxiety issues, breastfeeding, newborn care and safety, sleep safety and swaddling, and newborn development. You also get some hands-on practice and the chance to discuss questions with a nurse, which we found useful.

In terms of books, I've had the Dr. Sears Baby Book recommended to me by several friends and many of the ladies on my BMB have recommended Baby 411. Those may be worth checking out.

dragonfly711 · May 2014

Try to let her know it will be ok. I am a FTM and right now we have no idea what is going to happen with daycare. We cant afford daycare. Either hubby will have to work nights or I will have to stop teaching and go back to working at the animal ER nights if I cant find a job closer to home.

As for pacifiers you can ask 20 different people and you are going to get 20 different opinions. You have to use your gut sometimes, I personally do not like pacifiers but who knows I am not going to say no if for some reason that is the one thing that might work to keep my little one calm. So many of my friends love swaddling but you have to be ok with it along with baby.

I think something will be trial and error. I am 40 dont remember the last time I changed a diaper, help a newborn maybe once. Am I nervous, oh yes!!!

There are books out there but you can buy 10 different books and might get different opinions as well.

Has she gone to any prenatal classes or first time mom classes? I know my hospital has them and they were not that expensive.

efino87 · May 2014

The beautiful thing about parenting is that there is no one size fits all answer. Like PP's have said, there is no magical book with all the answers, it's all trial and error. What works for one baby, will not work for the next and it completely depends on what works with your parenting styles. Form a good relationship with your pediatrician, they are often a good resource for questions about eating habits, sleeping patterns and behavior.

As far as daycare, you need to get on that ASAP and not wait. The best daycare's often have long waiting lists for infants. If a daycare has several immediate openings for infants, there is often a reason why. Check and double check the references and don't be afraid to call your local health and human services department to get references. I have worked in a variety of daycare's and can tell you the difference between the good and the not so good is night and day.

jnnfrrose6 · May 2014

I'm going to start with the DC thing. I agree with PP. You need to get on that ASAP. We waited too long with DS and he ended up on the wait list at 3 places. We were able to get him into what we considered a 2nd tier place as a back up and he ended up there until his 1st birthday when he finally moved up on 2 of the lists. I was ok with the back up place because I nursed on my lunchbreak, so I went in everyday and they got to know me, but I see a huge difference between that place and where he is at now. The current DC was the 3rd person to know I was pregnant (after DH and my trainer) just to be sure there wouldn't be any issues.

As to the books, the thing about them is they are not one size fits all as everyone else has already said. There are so many different ideas about parenting and no one book is going to cover it all. Are you guys into attachment parenting? Is that not your thing and LO will be in their own crib/room ASAP? EBF is a must, or formula is the way to go? Putting baby on a schedule, or just rolling with it and following their lead? You need to talk about what you both think is best for your family and look into the different styles. And most of it will be trial by fire, because there is no way to know what will be best for your baby until they are in your arms.

Personally, I found the Moms on Call book extremely helpful. It matches up well with our parenting style and is an easy, quick reference book that isn't too big to get lost in and is easy to quickly look at when you aren't sure about something.

ADC1979 · May 2014

The OP may live in an area like mine, where 99% of the daycares don't offer a waiting list. (You can hold a spot, but for most you have to pay either 50% or 75% of the cost each week, and we don't have that kind of money to spend.) I was pretty disappointed when we looked at a bunch of daycares in March, found one we liked the most, and then found out they didn't offer a waiting list. Now I have to hope they have availability in September.

As far as book recommendations, I'm in the same boat as you with not having prepped that part of the info yet (nursery is not done, so busy freaking out about that.)

I did purchase this book for my husband, which was recommended to us:

Be Prepared

It's actually one I intend to read, too, along with some others like the Baby Owner's Manual. I like to read nonfiction with a touch of humor--only way I will be able to keep reading it. Your mileage may vary.

bewilderingstar · May 2014

My husband and I took a "Caring for You and Your Baby" class through the hospital we will be going to. It was a wealth of information. I would take the time to see what kind of classes you have in your area. It can really help!!

Good luck!

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