Share your kid funnies

Arnegard · April 2014

I told Dylan this morning, "Your friends are coming over this morning."

Her: "Really?! I need to go clean up!"

Haha! Where did she learn that?

nonoemily · April 2014

DS had a FULL ON tantrum last night... About wanting to go milk the cows.
Again.

We still don't have cows.

Most everyone calls DS Elk. He calls himself Elkie. He doesn't really believe me that there is an animal called Elk, though. They are either moose or deer.

If I show him a picture of an elk and tell him what it is he gives me this look and says, "No, mama."

caybeh · April 2014

DS really has turned into a Daddy's boy lately and will copy everything DH does. The other night we were sitting at the table and DS was copying what DH was doing.

DH says, "I love you, Mommy."
Eli, "I love you, Mommy."
Me, "Aww, I love you guys too."
Eli, "I love you, Daddy."
DH, "I love you, Eli."
Eli, "Aww."

EandIMommy86 · April 2014

When my daughter is about to throw a "tantrum" she looks up in the sky and walks at the same time. We have wood floors, so she slowly bends down and then lays all the way down and kicks her legs slowly so that she doesn't get hurt. THAT is her tantrum. Lol. It is quite hilarious.

jensriot · April 2014

The girls were arguing and I come out of my room and ask "What's going on?"

C, "We're fighting."

Me. "well, carry on then."

C, "Lillian says she's not my sister anymore."

Me, "Don't worry, you'll always be sisters, no matter what."

C, "You hear that Lillian? We're never breaking up!"

caybeh · April 2014

Oh I have another one.

DS, "I eat cookies."
Me, "The cookies are all gone. We ate them all."
DS, "Mommy, go shopping and buy more cookies!"

nonoemily · April 2014

We pass a construction equipment rental place on our way out of our neighborhood everyday. They have tractors and loaders and stuff like that.

DS always begs DH, "daddy, peese buy tiny tractor, ok? Not too big, ok?"

Keeptruckin · April 2014

I told DD to stop grumbling. She said, "I am not grumbling, I am sulking. Okay I am whining."

thechickencoop · April 2014

We're OOT and the tub in our hotel room is a big jacuzzi tub. DS and I were taking a bath last night and I was letting him push the button to turn the jets on and off and every time he would yell, "engines on! Engines off!". They were pretty loud.....

Xtine22 · April 2014

Whenever dd wants to eat something and we tell her no, her response is alway "half?"

Disneygeek77 · April 2014

We don't spank at our house, but I will give the kids little pats on their bottoms. Not to punish just to be silly. I call them love pats.

Anyways, DS will now come up to me and stick his bum out for me to uh... pat. He does this a lot and even in public. So pretty much my kid likes to have his butt smacked a bit.

sschwege · April 2014

We don't have any pets in our house and for a time DD was asking us to get a cat. We explained that we can never have a cat because DH and I are both allergic, so last night here's what she said:

DD: Mama, can we get two dogs? I have two hands.

Me: Why does it matter how many hands you have?

DD: With two hands I could pet them both at the same time.

One dog maybe, two is not happening!

Lately she has been interpreting everything she does. So for example if she runs and jumps on the couch she will say to herself, "She runs through the room and leaps onto the couch!"

alli2672 · April 2014

My boys favorite game right now is "guess which boy." I sit somewhere I can't see them, and I "guess" which boy will come running over to me. After each guess, I can hear them loudly discussing which of them should run out. I am wrong almost 100% of the time, which is apparently hilarious. Like fall-down-on-the-ground-laughing funny.

Xtine22 · April 2014

Disneygeek77 said:

We don't spank at our house, but I will give the kids little pats on their bottoms. Not to punish just to be silly. I call them love pats.

Anyways, DS will now come up to me and stick his bum out for me to uh... pat. He does this a lot and even in public. So pretty much my kid likes to have his butt smacked a bit.

------------Stuck in the box------------------------

We do this as well. We went to see a band play on Sunday night. OUr friend new the people playing and took DD to talk to them. DD slapped the lead singer on the butt. Oopps,

$:\$ ">

sschwege · April 2014

alli2672 said:

My boys favorite game right now is "guess which boy." I sit somewhere I can't see them, and I "guess" which boy will come running over to me. After each guess, I can hear them loudly discussing which of them should run out. I am wrong almost 100% of the time, which is apparently hilarious. Like fall-down-on-the-ground-laughing funny.

A game where you get to sit, while the kids run...my kind of game!

Today my two were playing a game where I sat on the floor and they took turns hugging me, just kept thinking, I could do this all day!

rachie1019 · April 2014

EandIMommy86 said:
When my daughter is about to throw a "tantrum" she looks up in the sky and walks at the same time. We have wood floors, so she slowly bends down and then lays all the way down and kicks her legs slowly so that she doesn't get hurt. THAT is her tantrum. Lol. It is quite hilarious.

Hahaha oh I keep laughing at this. Girls can be so dramatic. Does she stop crying when you aren't in the room, then start again when you walk back in? DD1 does this. Fake!

fancefpp · April 2014

DS1 told me he is a "handsome, redheaded kid" today.

rachie1019 · April 2014

Today on the way to preschool we were at a stop light. DS looked out the window and said "Mommy STOP!! There's a field of tiny sunflowers. (Dandelions) I need to pick one for you." Precious

Keeptruckin · April 2014

Disneygeek77 said:

We don't spank at our house, but I will give the kids little pats on their bottoms. Not to punish just to be silly. I call them love pats.

Anyways, DS will now come up to me and stick his bum out for me to uh... pat. He does this a lot and even in public. So pretty much my kid likes to have his butt smacked a bit.

We also do love pays on the butt. I used to pay her but and sing bum bum bum bum de bum. One day in preschool she turned to a kid in the lineup and asked if she could pat his bum and sing the bum song. I was embarrassed lol!

Aussie45 · April 2014

I've been sick a lot lately and not feeling good, so DD has been watching tv. The only thing that she will watch is Aristocats. Whenever she sees me pull it up on Netflix, she does a happy dance. It's the funniest thing, because it looks like she is just stamping her feet. If you didn't look at her face to see her smiling, you would think she was throwing a tantrum.

EandIMommy86 · April 2014

rachie1019 said:

When my daughter is about to throw a "tantrum" she looks up in the sky and walks at the same time. We have wood floors, so she slowly bends down and then lays all the way down and kicks her legs slowly so that she doesn't get hurt. THAT is her tantrum. Lol. It is quite hilarious.
Hahaha oh I keep laughing at this. Girls can be so dramatic. Does she stop crying when you aren't in the room, then start again when you walk back in? DD1 does this. Fake!

Pretty much. Or she will cry, look around, and realize no one cares and carry on with what she was doing.

JMC11511 · April 2014

I have three.

1) This morning I told L we were going to the library and we needed to work on our quiet voice. He responded my shouting at the top of his lungs, "CHOO CHOO! BOOK!"

2) We went to Sam's Club and while at the self checkout there was this kiosk that dispenses free samples of Airborne I guess. It is automated so the machine kept saying, "would you like a free sample?" Every time L would say, "Yeah!" Then the machine would say, "Slide your membership card." To which L would say, "No thanks!" Just cracked me up.

3) At the library, he chose this huge stuffed Teddy bear to sit with during story time. He kept laying on it and going "Goodnight!" And pretending to sleep.

rachie1019 · April 2014

EandIMommy86 said:

rachie1019 said:

EandIMommy86 said:
When my daughter is about to throw a "tantrum" she looks up in the sky and walks at the same time. We have wood floors, so she slowly bends down and then lays all the way down and kicks her legs slowly so that she doesn't get hurt. THAT is her tantrum. Lol. It is quite hilarious.

Hahaha oh I keep laughing at this. Girls can be so dramatic. Does she stop crying when you aren't in the room, then start again when you walk back in? DD1 does this. Fake!

Pretty much. Or she will cry, look around, and realize no one cares and carry on with what she was doing.

I am learning the difference between boy and girl tantrums. DS (4.5) can be so damn awnry, although he's really outgrowing it. DD1 (22 mos) has these screaming toddler dramatic melt downs when she's tired. DH's cousin had 2 girls before I had DD1. I always had to try not to laugh at their fits. Her DD2 does THE exact same thing... head back while stomping around. Now my DD is doing this. Oh boy!

fancynewbeesly · May 2014

DD is getting the idea of "expensive"--and she gets "expensive things for her birthday."

Last week we were at the food store and she wanted tons of produce. I put grapes, apples, strawberries in the cart. Then she wanted blueberries. They were freakin' expensive, so I told her no, they were too expensive.

She looked at me sadly and goes. "It's okay. Maybe for birthday." The old lady next to me was cracking up!

My mother in law was over the house the other day and she asked Reese if she wanted anything from shop rite. Reese goes: "No thank you, I'm fine."

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