DH and I are very close to my friend from college and her husband. They've been trying to have a baby for the last four years, and recently had another failed round of IVF. I know they've both been having an especially hard time lately and I'm a bit worried about them. I've told them I'm always available to talk, and I don't bring up their infertility unless they want to talk about it (and I've told them that I won't ask, but I'm always interested). I've told her that we're concerned for her, and she's admitted that they have been really antisocial recently because they are struggling. Despite the fact that they absolutely love LO, I realize it can sometimes be hard to be around us right now.
They've done a lot for us over the years, and we'd really like to do something nice for them. Is there anything that you might suggest? Or is it better to leave it be right now?
Maybe an adults only night out for drinks if you can find a sitter for LO or if you just want to get something for them, a couples massage maybe. The whole thing is really stressful so anything that can relieve some tension and provide a distraction would be good!
**Warning: Losses and living child mentioned** BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy. BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you. BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13Myrainbowbaby!
We struggled to conceive for 2 1/2 years. Watching my friends get pregnant was so hard, especially since nothing seemed to work for us. What I wanted most during those times was to not feel so isolated and to be understood. You can't truly understand the pain if you've never been there but I sure did appreciate the friends that acknowledged my heartache and tried to understand. One spent a lot of time doing reading on resolve.org and that gesture meant the world to me. The whole experience is different for the woman than the guy. Personally I would take her out for coffee and a walk or drinks and ask her about it, then listen. Just listen. That kind of support is truly invaluable.
Re: A question for those who had trouble conceiving
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice