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Foster parents - if this would be welcome, how to approach?

EgoCommaAlterEgoCommaAlter member
in Adoption
There is a very nice little boy in my daughter's daycare class whose (technically foster) parents have had a couple different kids move in/out in the year we've known them. The family now has 2 little boys in he toddler room. I was just cleaning out my son's outgrown clothes, which are still in good condition. Is it insulting if I ask the mom if she'd like some hand me downs? I don't know her very well, but she seems nice and I don't want to hurt her pride or feelings. If this is an ok thing to ask her, what's a tactful way to ask? They could have a million friends and live in a mansion for all I know. Also - what's the best way someone could've shown you support while going through a FTA? It looks like things are a go for her to adopt my daughter's little friend, but it makes me so sad for them when the other foster kids in that house don't "stick".
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Re: Foster parents - if this would be welcome, how to approach?

  • fernanefernane member
    I'm sure she would very much appreciate the clothes! I don't know any foster parents that wouldn't or who are "above" hand me downs. In fact, my city has an awesome support group and a "closet" full of donated clothes, toys, diapers, etc. which we can go to any time and get what we want or need for placements. It's an awesome resource!
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  • hansa11hansa11 member
    There doesn't have to be anything awkward about offering her hand-me-downs.  It's as simple as saying, "I just boxed up all the clothes that don't fit my son anymore and noticed they're probably just the right size for your little one."  In case she ends up not being the type to appreciate an offer of hand-me-downs, you can give her an out by saying something like you were thinking of holding onto them for a friend's son, but since he won't be able to wear them any time soon, you want to see if someone could use the things sooner would want them. 

    Personally, I'm thrilled when people offer me their kids' old clothes.  A mom in my son's daycare class, who I didn't even know that well, gave me a giant box of her son's old clothes and it was great stuff.  I thought it was really nice of her.
    Son #1 - September '09
    Son #2 - October '11
    Son #3 - Hoping to adopt from China some time in 2014!

    Our adoption journey: Talkin' 'Bout the Next Generation
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  • plus12012plus12012 member
    I think that would definitely be fine. Even if they aren't necessary for their current placements they may be down the road or she may know someone else in the fostering community that could use them.

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  • Stephy129Stephy129 member
    As foster parents people offer us stuff all the day and we are so appreciative. We have some kids who come to us with literally nothing so it's always great to not have to worry about clothing. I don't think she would be offended at all. At least I wouldn't be.
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  • sugardumplingsugardumpling member
    edited April 2014
    As a foster mom I am in awe of the outpouring of toys and clothing and support we've received from friends. It can't hurt to ask if she'd like some items. Very thoughtful of you to think of her.
    I always wanted to be a mom, I just didn't know how I would get there.
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