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I have a runner. Any advice?

eyenigheyenigh member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
My son is almost 26 months old and wants to run as soon as his feet hit the ground, no matter where we are. He has always been this way since he could walk but now that he's getting older, he hates the stroller ("No stroller, I walk!") and has become increasingly defiant when it comes to holding hands. Before we set off anywhere, I get down to his level and explain that we have to hold hands and that he needs to walk and stay by us so he's safe. He'll usually start out strong and walk nicely for the first minute or so but then all bets are off. I get that he's a toddler with boundless energy, he wants to explore and, on top of that, is in the pushing boundaries stage, but now that he's a little bit older and can understand things a bit, I'm trying to let him know up front that he has to walk and hold hands, if he doesn't do those things then there are consequences (like we'll leave where we are, he'll have to ride in a stroller, etc.). We're trying to be patient and consistent as we roll through the tantrums that obviously follow this behavior.

Does anyone that has been through this have any advice about what has worked for them or do I keep doing what I'm doing and wait for the phase to pass? If you had a runner, around what age did it finally start to subside?
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Re: I have a runner. Any advice?

  • JENandJEHJENandJEH member
    I would keep doing what you're doing.  If we're in a parking lot and DS2 doesn't want to hold hands, I tell him that he can either hold my hand or I will carry him.  If he takes off, pulls his hand away or throws himself to the ground in protest (his normal action) then I pick him up and carrying him inside.  

    At somewhere like the zoo, with DS1 around this age, I started taking the wagon instead of the stroller.  He could climb in and out and that seemed to satisfy him more than the stroller.  But again, if he took off, he went into the stroller.  

    I don't remember how long the phase lasted but I know that DS1 was a much more mild mannered child than DS2 so I look for him to push his limits longer.  
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  • eyenigheyenigh member
    JENandJEH said:
    I would keep doing what you're doing.  If we're in a parking lot and DS2 doesn't want to hold hands, I tell him that he can either hold my hand or I will carry him.  If he takes off, pulls his hand away or throws himself to the ground in protest (his normal action) then I pick him up and carrying him inside.  

    At somewhere like the zoo, with DS1 around this age, I started taking the wagon instead of the stroller.  He could climb in and out and that seemed to satisfy him more than the stroller.  But again, if he took off, he went into the stroller.  

    I don't remember how long the phase lasted but I know that DS1 was a much more mild mannered child than DS2 so I look for him to push his limits longer.  
    The wagon has had the same effect for us, too. He loves a good wagon ride and, luckily, I can strap him in there. The stroller is like a fate worse than death to him. At stores, I use the shopping cart made for two kids (the ones with the massive plastic seat) and he loves that. He told me "Shopping cart is for babies" in reference to a regular shopping carts. Sigh.
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    I'd keep doing what you are doing and be patient!  I hope it's a shorter phase. :)
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  • JENandJEHJENandJEH member
    eyenigh said:
    JENandJEH said:
    I would keep doing what you're doing.  If we're in a parking lot and DS2 doesn't want to hold hands, I tell him that he can either hold my hand or I will carry him.  If he takes off, pulls his hand away or throws himself to the ground in protest (his normal action) then I pick him up and carrying him inside.  

    At somewhere like the zoo, with DS1 around this age, I started taking the wagon instead of the stroller.  He could climb in and out and that seemed to satisfy him more than the stroller.  But again, if he took off, he went into the stroller.  

    I don't remember how long the phase lasted but I know that DS1 was a much more mild mannered child than DS2 so I look for him to push his limits longer.  
    The wagon has had the same effect for us, too. He loves a good wagon ride and, luckily, I can strap him in there. The stroller is like a fate worse than death to him. At stores, I use the shopping cart made for two kids (the ones with the massive plastic seat) and he loves that. He told me "Shopping cart is for babies" in reference to a regular shopping carts. Sigh.
    When DS1 got to the point that he was protesting the shopping cart (and again, totally different child who was so mild mannered and rarely gave me problems) I would take some notepads and give him a pen at the store and have him help me with my list.  If I wrote out a fake list ahead of time, he would have a blast coloring on the page and "checking off" things for me.  DS2 would throw it in the floor if I tried so it may not be something your son would go for.  Our Publix has the car carts that aren't nearly as obnoxious as some of the others so I always grab one (they have like 20 so I don't worry about someone coming along and needing it since there are so many) and a free cookie at the bakery to keep him occupied for a bit.  Otherwise, I put him in the big part of the buggy and he stacks things for me.  

    Good luck...I have to say that the asserting independence stage isn't necessarily one of my favorite ones!
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  • sugarbear0524sugarbear0524 member
    We have a backpack with a lead attached. Judge away, but my son is safe and that's the important thing. I always judged these before I had kids. Not anymore!


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  • junebugrbigjunebugrbig member
    DS is a "flight risk" right now and it is making me nuts.  She will take off and turn around and look at me and smile.  I know she is having fun but it scares me because she is faster than me.  So when I do catch her, I remind her not to run and redirect.  If she continues, we go home.  I have been limiting taking her to events or places with large crowds as of late because I am afraid she will get lost in a crowd.  When going to the store, she is in the cart, no ifs ands or buts.  Stroller at the mall.   In parking lots, she holds my hand or I carry her.  I don't care if she hates it...its about keeping her safe.  Trying to do my best to ride this phase out....
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  • eyenigheyenigh member
    @Nicb13 Believe me, I'm not trying to hold hands unless it's necessary. It's way more work to try! I'm in the process of trying to show him places where he can run and have a good time and others are places that can be dangerous and he has to stay with me. It's slow going. He took off away from me at the mall last weekend yelling "It's dangerrrrous!" My sarcastic 2 year old...

    @sugarbear0524 No judgment whatsoever. I was just saying on another board, before I had kids, I was judgey about kids on leashes.Now, after having my son, I totally get it and readily stand corrected. Sometimes you have a runner despite your best efforts-- it's not just lazy parenting!


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  • JulesDianeJulesDiane member
    Both my girls are runners. (yay me). I was always nervous in parking lots! Anyways, I will say, DD1 got leaps and bounds better about listening to me from the age of 2 until 2.5 and steadily got better as she got closer to 3. She still has runs off, but not that often, and she listens a lot better than she used to. I finally gave in and got the backpack with the lead for DD2 because she does not listen, and when they run in different directions... I get so flustered.  So, I think if you stay consistent with him, I think he will probably start listening and minding you a little better as he gets older. Hopefully sooner rather than later!
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    She knows parking lots and roads are very dangerous and that she is not allowed to walk through them w/o holding hands or being carried.  I give her the choice, either you hold my hand or I'll carry you.  If she throws a fit, then I carry her anyway. 

    I think you just need to keep doing what you're doing. 

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  • sunnyday016sunnyday016 member
    I think you're doing all the right things. That's exactly what I'm doing. DS hates being strapped in the stroller or shopping cart and also hates holding hands. We almost always have to carry him in parking lots because he just won't walk holding hands. He's a very opinionated & independent guy!
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  • sohappy14sohappy14 member
    Yep! Major runner and he's fast! He's 3 and has been like this since walking started. It's so exhausting especially when we tell him it's time to go inside after playing with his friends and he runs and they listen.. So we try our best! But you're not alone! At stores he's strapped in or in the cart.
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  • Mrs.GregMrs.Greg member
    One of my twins was a runner. And both of my twins started hating their stroller right after they turned 2. It was so scary going places with all three of my kids alone. But honestly, she just outgrew it. She is perfect now when we are outside, like in a parking lot. She's a bit less than perfect when we are in a store or whatever but still acting ok. I'm not chasing her up and down aisles at Target or anything. Now she's more of a wanderer - haha! Hopefully it's just a phase with your little guy too!
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