Can I vent for a minute?

lcloffredo · April 2014

So I am only 11 weeks pregnant and already people are saying they won't babysit my twins. They still fight over getting to watch DD and she's two but everybody says they will not watch the twins, just DD. I understand not wanting to watch three kids but refusing to watch the twins at all? That takes balls coming from my own family. You don't want to watch my babies fine, but don't think I'm letting you play favorites with my kids! I feel bad for these babies already, even my mom is saying this.

absolutelymaybe · April 2014

Wow. That's messed up. Do they give you a reason as to why they won't want to watch the twins?

lcloffredo · April 2014

Because, and this is a quote from my mom, "How would I watch two babies at once?"

absolutelymaybe · April 2014

That's silly. Because no one has ever watched two babies at once. Totally impossible. Hopefully they'll pull their heads out once babies are here and they see how adorable they are.

sasky · April 2014

Do they just bring this up out of the blue? Ouch, that's hurtful. For me it would be more about them not willing to make an effort to help me out when I might need it, more so than playing favorites. If they feel overwhelmed by the idea, maybe join forces with each other.

Sorry you're dealing with that.

Rynleigh · April 2014

o.O Who says that while you're pregnant? Like, I get it if someone says, "I wish I could help but that's a little too much for me" if you're actually *asking them to watch the kids that week*... but not in casual conversation about months from now... all that does is make you feel like YOUR KIDS are some kind of burden on everyone else just for being born... what a shitty thing to say.

DoublePortion · April 2014

So odd...and rude. So many people keep telling me they WANT to come watch my babies. I hope they get a little more excited for you!

shanaynerz · April 2014

My parents won't watch all three kids for awhile. My mom suffered two strokes and a heart attack in 2011, however, and she's doing well, but not super mobile. My dad is in great health, but even watching DD takes a lot out of them, especially with her walking. So it's understandable, but definitely hurts to hear.

ETA: Guess I should add they have taken DD overnight quite often, and when the twins arrive, taking al three overnight will be too much. I think they'll watch all three for maybe a few hours if needed, but not overnight for awhile.

badbridey · April 2014

I've had people tell me that too, but I think they are just overwhelmed at the thought of taking care of two newborns at one time. I'm sorry but to pp who said it's not big deal, but even many MoMs are apprehensive of that before the babies come -It IS hard to do. but, I think once the babies arrive, and your family sees how you handle taking care of the two babies, their schedule, etc. it won't be so overwhelming anymore.

Ylvelill · April 2014

I do not understand why people would say that. Sure it sounds like a lot, and maybe you feel overwhelmed, but just keep that to yourself

I am sorry they aren't being more supportive. You can always offer them one baby at the time and rotate

kgs0505 · April 2014

Ha! The babies were easy! It was the 2 yo who was hard! I have a single babysitter who can handle all 3 just fine. She's great. But I pay her and she's not family. She watches kids all the time. For my family, I do smaller sessions, unless there are two of them. If they haven't been used to watching kids in a long time, I prefer that there is a pair of adults. It usually breaks down to one is assigned the toddler (now 3 yo) and one is assigned the babies (still crawling 1 yo).

ks3pink · April 2014

My mom has only ever kept my boys at my house yet she takes my DD everywhere. I said I wouldn't let her play favorites either but it's not fair to DD to not let her do things with her nana. You are not alone.

bunny731 · April 2014

People are really overreacting here, two babies are overwhelming end of story. It is funny because people post all the time here saying how overwhelmed at the prospect of finding out there is two when they are expecting one, and they get a lot of support. Grandparents should get support too, even when they share sentiments about how resistant, and for good reason, they are for watching two when they were expecting one.

sasky · April 2014

bunny731 said:
People are really overreacting here, two babies are overwhelming end of story. It is funny because people post all the time here saying how overwhelmed at the prospect of finding out there is two when they are expecting one, and they get a lot of support. Grandparents should get support too, even when they share sentiments about how resistant, and for good reason, they are for watching two when they were expecting one.

I actually agree. I wouldn't expect people in my life to just jump right in and take care of twins. And if there was something coming up where I needed childcare, I'd try to either make it really quick, or find multiple people to cover at once (my mom and sister, for example).

Reading the initial post for me it was people coming right out and saying it unprompted that I'd find hurtful. Like I'm SOL and they wouldn't find some way to help me out if/when I needed it.

But maybe I misunderstood.

lcloffredo · April 2014

It was out of the blue we were talkig about something else about the babies and my mom blurts out I hope you don't expect me to babysit all three. I don't expect it from anybody especially not at first.

Everybody says they will watch my 2 year old because she is their favorite (she is the only one) and yes they have said that.

I hope it changes once these babies are here. I don't want them to feel like I feel for them right now.

lwatkins12 · May 2014

My twins are 6 months and I barely make it thru each day without feeling like I want to run away so I feel guilty when anyone else is stuck with them, including my husband. If someone does watch them, they usually look traumatized when I return and I've never left them for more than three hours. I wouldn't hold it against anyone for saying they won't watch them.

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