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Conflicted about weaning

bloverdebloverde member
in One & Done: Only child
DS is 2 in a couple weeks, and he's still really attached to breast feeding. I've kept it up because he has food allergies, so it's a good source of protein and calcium, but also because he's a milk monster. Days that I'm home he will still nurse 6 times a day. He still wakes 2-3 times to nurse at night. On a regular day, I pump once at lunch. On a 24 hour shift I pump 3 times and get a total of about 10oz. I'm going to a conference for a whole week next month. I've only been away from him for one night, so I'm going to be a mess. But it also be a good time to let myself dry up. When I start my new job in July, I won't be able to pump on a normal work day, but I may be able to pump once if I'm on a 24 hour shift. I'm just sad to think that since he's my only, that I'm done with BF forever. Aside from the cuddle time, it's also a good tool to calm him down. Anyone have opinions on weaning and being sad?
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Re: Conflicted about weaning

  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    I wanted to let DD self-wean, but we got to a point where I needed to knock some of it out for balance so I could keep going at all.  Around that age, when she wanted to nurse more (and out of boredom), I'd institute some limits - no nursing for an hour after waking up, we have to eat solid food for lunch first before nursing, etc.  I had started partial night weaning around 16 months, and by 2 years, I think we were down to nursing just once a night.  Some of the nursing sessions she dropped (like the ones before and after her nap, when she stopped napping), and some I dropped (like the second to last one first thing in the morning).  She eventually self-weaned herself at 3.5yrs old.

    My point?  If it's too much for you, that's OK!  You can make some modifications to make it better for you, even without weaning entirely, or even really working down that path.  The key is to find out what limits you *need* right now, and start there.  Then re-evaluate as you feel your needs are not being met.
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  • this decaf lifethis decaf life member
    lildis09 said:
    I forgot to add, my opinion on it being sad is that it'll also be freeing. Part of why I keep coming back to oad is that I don't think I could nurse another for this long. I'm ready to be done.
    I think this about a lot of stuff. I feel like I did a lot of things the "right" way with DD and I don't think I could/would be able to give the same to a second baby.
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  • bloverdebloverde member
    What I really need is for him to night wean. I haven't gotten more than 3 hours of sleep in a row since 5 months pregnant. Between nursing and my work schedule, I know why sleep deprivation is used as torture.

    I've tried at least 3 times to night wean, and his will is just stronger than mine. After about a week of 3 hour crying sessions ending in vomiting all over the bed, I give in. Because everyone gets more sleep if I just nurse him. I've tried every method you can think of and read about 5 books on it.
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    edited April 2014
    Did you try eliminating all night feeds at one time?  That might be a LOT to handle.
    He's 2, so you can start to talk to him about it, preparing him.  Does he have any input on how he might be able to make a change?  
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    Also (I forget which thread I said this one): night weaning didn't change a thing about night wakings for us.  That is more of an issue of being able to self-soothe back to sleep.
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  • JackoftheBoxJackoftheBox member
    I just wanted to say WOW 2 years of BF is awesome!! You guys are seriously hero's IMO. I couldn't keep my supply up and had to quit at 3months.
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  • bloverdebloverde member
    I read Nursies When the Sun Shines for a whole month while talking about how mommy was tired and milk (what we call nursing) was tired and needed to rest.

    I tried keeping a feed at the time I go to bed, because we bed share, and then eliminating the 3am-ish feed, keeping the 6am.

    He has a speech delay, so he can't give input. He's in therapy and says some words, but he signs milk.

    In the middle of the night he just cries. Nothing else will soothe him if I'm home. When I'm on call and DH is home, he cuddles back to sleep. But he always knows when I'm home and won't let DH soothe him at that time. He's been like that since birth. I even tried sleeping on the couch for a while and leaving the house while DH put him down. Sure enough, as soon as I get home, he wakes right up and cries for me. This kid has always been like an extra appendage. He is THE definition of high needs.

    If we're out and about, he will go 6 hours without nursing. But if we're home, it's on demand and he throws a fit if I offer a glass of water or a piece of fruit.

    @JackoftheBox‌: I just consider myself lucky. There's nothing I did differently than many other moms who bend over backwards to maintain supply. For whatever reason, I can make milk. I don't want others to think they can't because of something they didn't do or something I did extra. Or it could have been my super clingy baby that ate for 45 minutes out of every hour for 12 weeks straight. He was greedy.
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  • bloverdebloverde member
    He KNOWS when I'm home and just not coming to soothe him. We also bed share, so I don't know how to get him to accept DH instead of me when I'm right next to him. Like I said, he knows if I'm sleeping on the couch or left and came back. It's like he hears the freaking car door in his sleep and wakes up.

    I work 80 hours per week, so on days off, I'm pretty lazy and just lounge around the house. The most exciting I get is switching up where I grocery shop. I would rather keep nursing than orchestrate car naps and days out to miss nursing opportunities. ;)
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  • law&orderlaw&order member

    So I've been totally MIA these days, but I have been following this thread a bit.  Since you bedshare, I don't think those are going to be the easiest/first feeds to drop.  You know that he can go without nursing during the day because he does when you are out and about or at work.  If you want to wean, I think you need to pick the day feeds that he is least attached to and drop (those would be the ones he doesn't miss if he's distracted by being at the park, for example). 

    What if you are home and don't give it to him? You said he'd pitch a fit, but are you meaning an hour of crying, or can he be otherwise redirected to something else he likes? If it's 20 minutes of tantrum, then I think you just go for it and start dropping the feeds and he will catch on.

    Perhaps this is totally flame-worthy, but what if you replaced/distracted with another "high value" item- like say a few M&Ms or Annie's Gummies which are like toddler crack in our house. If you make it fun/interesting will he be ok with it?

    I was sad when I weaned, I think that's very normal. But to still be pumping with a schedule as demanding as yours is a lot to handle. 

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