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BF Newborn - losing my mind with 17 mo old

Starfish+77Starfish+77 member
in Two Under 2
I'll try to keep this as short as possible:-) I'm a first time BFer and never realized just how time consuming this would be. My newborn is about 3 weeks. I also have a toddler about 17 months. I feel like I'm completely neglecting my toddler due to the amount of time I spend BF. I know this is short lived, but every time I think I can give her a bath, feed her dinner, etc, the baby wants to eat. I have tried using a carrier but was unsuccessful for feeding. At this point she won't even come to me and cries when my DH leaves. Also I'm unable to pick her up since I had a csection and she's 25 lb. Likely adding to my misery and almost resentment of the baby. Please tell me it gets better or share and encouraging words:-) At 17 mo she doesn't exactly sit to watch TV and her attention span isn't great. Nursing sessions can be 45-1 hour so it's very difficult! I'm considering bailing on BF even though it was so important to me. I just think it would be so much more manageable yo bottle feed the baby since that may take 10 min and DH could help. Anyone in same boat or was at some point?? Thanks
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Re: BF Newborn - losing my mind with 17 mo old

  • vettymamavettymama member
    I could have wrote this word for word. DS1 is 17 months and DS2 is almost 3 weeks. I'm also a first time BFer. At 2 weeks DS2 is/was still not up to birth weight so I'm really struggling with giving them both what they need. DS2 nurses for 45 minutes to an hour also. I've really started to miss my toddler. Even though he is home with me all day, somedays I want it to be just the two of us again. I know this is a shortlived period but it is more mentally and physically exhausting than I ever thought. There are good days and bad days but I'm just taking it one day at a time.
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  • Starfish+77Starfish+77 member
    I'm glad I'm not the only 1 losing my mind :-) this is hard!! My LO did reach birth weight so it's encouraging but missing my DD has me second guessing BF. I hear you about good and bad days! I have no help other than DH and most days we are biting each other's heads off likely due to stress. How do you occupy your LO when BF? Sometimes I have about 30-60 min break and he wants the boob again! My DD won't watch TV or play with my iPad longer than 5 mins. I feel like she hates me :-( Best of luck to you...this too shall pass!
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  • vettymamavettymama member
    Starfish+77 said:

    I'm glad I'm not the only 1 losing my mind :-) this is hard!! My LO did reach birth weight so it's encouraging but missing my DD has me second guessing BF. I hear you about good and bad days! I have no help other than DH and most days we are biting each other's heads off likely due to stress. How do you occupy your LO when BF? Sometimes I have about 30-60 min break and he wants the boob again! My DD won't watch TV or play with my iPad longer than 5 mins. I feel like she hates me :-( Best of luck to you...this too shall pass!

    I try to remember to get him a sippy of milk or water and sometimes a light snack if it's close to a time he's used to eating. Also have stack of books on the couch next to me and some he normally doesn't play with (magazines,stickers, old phone, diffeeent food containers, etc). Sometimes he stays occupied other times he gets irritated real fast. When that happens he tends to stand by me and just want to be close. I'm working on being able to nurse on the floor so I can play more, at least with one hand.
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  • jf198400jf198400 member
    It's really tough in the beginning, give yourself at least another 2 weeks to see if it gets better. LO should start nursing quicker and eventually less often. My kids are 18 months apart. We made sure to leave the house everyday, made it easier on all of us. It did mean that I'd end up nursing at storytime or the playground sometimes but at least dd was occupied playing. It helps if you can have play dates with other moms so they can help you out a little. Or have grandparents or friends come visit. I know it's hard, but it will get easier, I promise!
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  • ScarlettVScarlettV member
    Just a horrible lurker here, but thought I'd share some advice my BF gave me (she has four kids, two pairs of two under two).

    She told me that you can adjust the moby wrap in such a way that your baby can actually breastfeed while in it. Granted, she did not show me how, and I have no idea what that would look like or if it's for doing while just sitting or if you can still 'get around' while actively feeding, but I know she did do this sometimes to free up her hands. Maybe there are some youtube videos on how to adjust the wrap? Sorry I can't vouch for this personally. :( But I wish you luck.

    *lurker out*
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  • kimberly_ann81kimberly_ann81 member
    Sweet pea was almost 2.5 years when I had peanut and he still had a hard time.  I found sitting on the floor to nurse helped Sweet pea during that time.  I used a nursing pillow so I "didn't have" to hold Peanut and could use one hand to support my breast and the other to play, do puzzles, or read a book to Sweet pea.

    Does your DD like to play with dolls?  Maybe giver her a doll to feed with you feed your newborn. 
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  • juniper75juniper75 member
    I am in the same situation. DD1 is 19 months and DD2 is 2 weeks old. I got a great tip from a nurse yesterday - she suggested I make a box of special toys and treats that DD1 only gets to have while I am nursing - that way it becomes a special time for her too. I haven't gotten a chance to try it yet but I am already trying to figure out what to put in there!!
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