3rd time was not the charm :( My heart is so heavy — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

3rd time was not the charm :( My heart is so heavy

I posted here about a week ago expecting my third loss---today it was confirmed.  At my ultrasound today at 7w6d my baby no longer had a heartbeat.  I saw a nice, healthy and strong heartbeat just this past Saturday and had an explanation for the bleeding (SCH).  But all that was ripped away today.  I can't say that I am completely surprised because at this point I kind of feel like it is a miracle if something goes right with a pregnancy that I go through.  I feel so numb at this point.  I actually didn't even cry in the office when I first got the news, but have certainly made up for it once getting home.  

The timing of this is awful too (isn't it always?).  Tomorrow is the due date of my first loss.  Instead I will be spending the day in the hospital getting a D&C for this loss.  How many more times can I go through this?  I feel like I may never get answers and don't know where to go next from here.  I am the ultimate planner, so I always want to know whats next and how to get there.  I have already been thinking about all those steps, but I am not quite sure what those next steps are.  What does one do if you have repeated losses and no answers? So far every test from my RPL panel has come back normal.  I just want our baby so bad.

Oh so many emotions and questions, so little answers. 

Me (28) DH (27)
Married June 2012
Started TTC July 2013
     BFP #1          August 2013          EDD 4/29/14            natural MC at 6-7 week
BFP #2         January 2014         EDD 9/24/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
BFP #3         March 2014            EDD 12/4/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
BFP #4         August 2014            EDD 4/20/15        Hoping for our rainbow
                                            It's a BOY!
 

Re: 3rd time was not the charm :( My heart is so heavy

  • I am so sorry for your loss.
    I wish you luck at your D&C. Sending you thoughts and prayers
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN

    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d 
     
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. So very sorry...
  • tlc35tlc35 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    I'm so very sorry for your loss.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
  • I'm so sorry. Next step would probably be getting a referral to an RE. Hopefully you can get some answers there.
    image image
  • Thanks for your support ladies.  @ellyd14 I'm already seeing a RE...they followed me very closely with this pregnancy.  So I feel like we are a little stuck at this point. Not sure what the plan will be, but I guess maybe that will be sorted out once I get past the d&c. 

    Me (28) DH (27)
    Married June 2012
    Started TTC July 2013
         BFP #1          August 2013          EDD 4/29/14            natural MC at 6-7 week
    BFP #2         January 2014         EDD 9/24/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
    BFP #3         March 2014            EDD 12/4/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
    BFP #4         August 2014            EDD 4/20/15        Hoping for our rainbow
                                                It's a BOY!
     
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    image
    BFP: 3/9/2014  EDD: 11/11/2014  MMC: 4/10/2014  D&C: 4/11/2014
  • I am so sorry for your loss.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Photogenic
    edited April 2014
    Again, so sorry for your loss. I don't know the 'right' thing to do, but I would see a reproductive endocrinologist...they may have some answers.
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN

    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d 
     
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain of loss after seeing a healthy heartbeat and the frustration with no explanations. Will be praying that you get all of the support that you need from your doctors and family.

     

    Sending warm thoughts.

    Me (34); DH (35)

    BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)

    BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am so sorry for your losses.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







  • lindscapleslindscaples member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments Photogenic 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    I also saw a heartbeat and then a week later no cardiac activity. Went into that ultrasound excited and a little anxious.. But never expected to be told it was all over. Hugs to you durning this dark time.
  • I'm so sorry for your losses and although I don't have experience with what happens next I wish you the best of luck!

    TTC #1: February 1, 2014
    BFP #1: 2/21/14 EDD: 10/31/14 (my birthday!) MMC: discovered 3/31/14 (blighted ovum) D&C: 4/3/14 at 9w6d

    TTC #1 (Round 2): May 16, 2014 

     Names | Blog | Chart

    "Everybody wants to be happy. Nobody wants to feel pain but you can't have a rainbow without the rain."

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard it has to be for you. Sending hugs your way.
  • So sorry for your losses ((hugs))
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Married April 9, 2011
    TTC since October 2011
    Me 34, DH 40

    IUI #5 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture Oct 24, 2014-->BFP!!! EDD July 17, 2015. Panorama=low risk...and it's a GIRL!
    DD born July 10, 2015
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Trying for baby #2!
    IUI #1 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture July 10, 2017-->BFP!!! EDD Apr 2, 2018. Panorama=low risk...and another GIRL!

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm terribly sorry.
    utm_source=girl&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badgesimage
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so sorry! That's not fair. I hope you will find peace about it dinner rather than later :(
  • i'm so sorry for your losses, and hope you have a quick (physical) recovery after your D&C.  (((hugs)))
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    photo gum-chewers.gif
    BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
    BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
    BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015

    photo quad_zps6309d559.jpg  image   

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers  Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
    image
  • Thank you all for the support! I really appreciate it---beyond what words could really express. Today was my first day back at work which was full of mixed emotions especially since I decided to tell my department of 15 or so girls about my 3 miscarriages that I have had in the last 9 months. The support at work has been so great, but it's all just so sad. I just can't help but wonder what my babies would have been like. It seems like people forget that these are babies that I have lost, not just the idea of being pregnant. Oye, I've just gotta take one day at a time. I appreciate all of you though!

    Me (28) DH (27)
    Married June 2012
    Started TTC July 2013
         BFP #1          August 2013          EDD 4/29/14            natural MC at 6-7 week
    BFP #2         January 2014         EDD 9/24/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
    BFP #3         March 2014            EDD 12/4/14            MC at 8 weeks, D&C
    BFP #4         August 2014            EDD 4/20/15        Hoping for our rainbow
                                                It's a BOY!
     
  • So sorry for your loss. I hope you find the answers you need.
     May your hands always be busy
    May your feet always be swift
    May you have a strong foundation
    When the winds of changes shift

    May your heart always be joyful
    May your song always be sung
    And may you stay forever young  " 

    Me 35, DH 37

    DX with PCOS in early 20's. IF d/t PCOS, anovulation, endometriosis, Dermoid cyst in/on Left ovary

    TTC for 3 years. (2/2011), Last 16 months (2/2013) with chemical ART; Lap HSG with D&C 11/2012, Repeat HSG 2/2013 

    Clomid, Follisim, HCG Triggers, Progesterone, Metformin

    IUI x2 = BFN

    3/16/14 IUI #3  BFP!

    3/28/14 BFP!!!!!!!, EDD 12/6/14, Nonviable pregnancy 4/9/14, 5w4d; CP natural mc at 7w6d

    4/25/14 Bye bye little one

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath - Personal picture


    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards