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Frustrated

kmm2150kmm2150 member
in Parenting
i feel like dh has really unrealistic expectations for DD and I'm exhausted. He doesn't get that she's two, and if she's tired, hungry, hot, she's not going to win the worlds most charming toddler award. He doesn't get that you can't do the same leisurely stroll through a mall or an outdoor featival that you could without a child. He ends up getting really frustrated, sometimes is just grinchy with me ("let's just go, I don't care screw it let's just go home rawr), but will also get really short with DD and snap at her which only makes it worse. I feel like when I try to talk to him about it he just shuts down like "fine, you know better so you handle it." and I'm not perfect, I get frustrated, I raise my voice, so it's hard to say oh don't do that.

I don't really have a question. If anyone has a good easy read or website about parenting a toddler without murdering your spouse, I'd appreciate it.
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Re: Frustrated

  • aforstaforst member
    Does she have a pedi appt coming up anytime soon? Sometimes hearing it from a dr helps parents understand that this behavior is totally normal.

    You can tell him we didn't go to restaurants with DS1 from about 18 months to 4. He was a nightmare. He's awesome now though. :)
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  • JennicillinJennicillin member
    aforst said:
    Does she have a pedi appt coming up anytime soon? Sometimes hearing it from a dr helps parents understand that this behavior is totally normal. You can tell him we didn't go to restaurants with DS1 from about 18 months to 4. He was a nightmare. He's awesome now though. :)
    This.  When I say it I get blown off... when the pediatrician says it, it becomes fucking gospel (so annoying by the way)

    Also, Happiest Toddler On The Block is a really good book that nicely dissects the toddler psyche, and gives the adults good ways to handle it
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  • kmm2150kmm2150 member
    Thanks for the advice, I will look into those books. We fo have quite a few friends with kids around her age but usually see them at big cookouts and stuff so all the kids are wild and it doesn't seem like normal behavior.

    Thanks!
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  • credcat7credcat7 member

    I get a bit of this too... every time it happens I think of the quote "you are not dealing with an inconvenience you are raising a human being",, most times I either step in and give him a minute to breathe or I tell him to get over himself and work with the program.  Neither of those is good helpful advice I admit. 

    My frustration with  BF is his 20 - 30 minute poops.... I can pretty much swear they are extended now that he has a smart phone on which to watch TV, sports or poker while int he bathroom and he can "escape"  I call UNFAIR !

     

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  • JennicillinJennicillin member
    credcat7 said:

    I get a bit of this too... every time it happens I think of the quote "you are not dealing with an inconvenience you are raising a human being",, most times I either step in and give him a minute to breathe or I tell him to get over himself and work with the program.  Neither of those is good helpful advice I admit. 

    My frustration with  BF is his 20 - 30 minute poops.... I can pretty much swear they are extended now that he has a smart phone on which to watch TV, sports or poker while int he bathroom and he can "escape"  I call UNFAIR !

     

    I would call unfair on this, except I'm totally guilty of doing the exact same thing....
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