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February 2014 Moms
ShePersisted
member
I've been mom shamed for use of TV
ShePersisted
member
I had friends over this weekend and we were going about the day and during LOs playtime I sat on the couch and turned on the TV to some random channel to keep him occupied. I do that occasionally if he gets bored with the play mat or his rattle or singing with me etc. At this point I figured it's just lots of lights for him.
My friend saw this and suddenly started to share how her friends don't even turn on the tv since their baby was born and it can be so detrimental to the baby's development. Also the channel I put in had some violence (Man of Steel was on) which can be bad for baby to watch etc. According to her they absorb everything even this early.
Ok I'll admit I'm no expert in early childhood development. Am I being horrible for letting LO entertain himself with the TV from time to time? My assumption he is so young he does not even know it's "the TV". He really just calms down and sometimes it's a blessing if he's cranky or if I need to stall before next feeding etc. Secondly, if I turn on the TV should I only put on child friendly stuff?
What's your stand on letting children watch TV? What's the expected age when they start to get addicted? What do you typically do/did with your bigs?
My friend saw this and suddenly started to share how her friends don't even turn on the tv since their baby was born and it can be so detrimental to the baby's development. Also the channel I put in had some violence (Man of Steel was on) which can be bad for baby to watch etc. According to her they absorb everything even this early.
Ok I'll admit I'm no expert in early childhood development. Am I being horrible for letting LO entertain himself with the TV from time to time? My assumption he is so young he does not even know it's "the TV". He really just calms down and sometimes it's a blessing if he's cranky or if I need to stall before next feeding etc. Secondly, if I turn on the TV should I only put on child friendly stuff?
What's your stand on letting children watch TV? What's the expected age when they start to get addicted? What do you typically do/did with your bigs?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I've been mom shamed for use of TV
I don't remember when we really started watching it with DS1. I certainly have the TV on in the house during the day, but I haven't put LO in front of it yet. . Usually, he's more interested in me than the TV. If he gets bored, I usually sit in my picture window with him. He watches the birds and outdoor things and interestingly, its things like that usually catch his eye on the TV. Then again GoT is on a lot in my house as I'm trying to catch up so he's sees a lot of blood and boobs. I don't think he cares.
We've always kept TV kind of a low key thing in our house. We don't use it as a reward or a bribe and DS1 can take it or leave it. We put it on when he needs to chill out and he'll watch, but it's never a big deal when it gets turned off either. I think if you don't make a huge deal out of it then it doesn't really become an "addiction" per se.
We keep it off (or dd turned away) during her playtimes. I do watch while nursing her or snuggling or while she sleeps, and there are times it is on while she's awake.
I watched the bates motel and the following while nursing. Not exactly child friendly.
Would I have said anything if I was visiting? No. You're allowed to make your own decisions. I think that's just common courtesy.
And I'm with @Bookshelves. I hate tv on during a meal or a social visit.
If you are interested in research, here are some links:
https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/pages/media-and-children.aspx
https://m.pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040.full
The AAP recommendation is to avoid screen time for kids under the age of two and limit it to less than two hours (all screen time) for toddlers, etc. To my understanding the rec is less about TV becoming an addiction and more about how the rapidly changing images and sound affect cognitive development. Also, people do park kids in front of the TV as a babysitter instead of interacting. It doesn't sound like you are doing that!
From a personal experience standpoint, we fall back on DH's observations as a teacher of elementary and middle school kids for 15 years- he believes that kids who watch lots of TV/video games/smart phone media have a more difficult time focusing on lessons because they have become so used to the rapid-fire over stimulation of media. The number of image changes is much much higher with programming today than it used to be. This is one reason things like teletubbies move so slowly.
We don't do TV with DD1, and we don't have the TV on during the day -- but we just aren't TV watchers. We were less careful about that when she was immobile because we could face her away from the screen. We do let DD1 watch cute animal videos when we are cutting her nails or really have to get something done on the computer. Because it is not our habit to watch anything while she is awake, and because we now have DD2, this is unlikely to change anytime soon. Sorry DD1. No TV for you.
You know what works for you! If TV helps calm your babe and you limit it to a level you are comfortable with, then I wouldn't worry. Re: non-kid programming - I would probably limit the screen time to programming geared to young children or things without the rapid-fire scene change/loud music/explosions for the screen change reason discussed above, but again- you know best what works for you. Mom shaming = bad! Sorry this is so long.
We actually had to limit reading at one point. He'd happily flip through books for HOURS and then be cranky and tired but couldn't sleep because he hadn't been physically active. Too much of anything is bad.
@LaurLaurLaur I don't like the blinky lights on any toy (I personally find them distracting), but tv is said to be "worse" because of the moving images.
All that said it was wrong of @Hg45'a friend to mom shame her. We're all learning, tv isn't unsafe. No mom shaming needed.
Heck, reading books can be dangerous. Dd has a bright purple bruise from DS reading to her yesterday. He tripped getting up and dropped the book and she has a purple dot from the book's corner in the middle of her forehead. I'm sure tv hasn't given her baby a bruise!
And we're those crazies who never let him have juice either until we potty trained. Even now, it's the 100% stuff with 2/3 water.
My view is I was totally against tv with DS1 till I saw what it did for my kid. Now we watch shows that are E/I.
I am with the thought process that I don't want to keep him away to the point he feels deprived and moderation is good. I would like to use TV as an educational tool along with entertainment but perhaps more so once he at an age to learn. I keep forgetting I am the best and most appropriate stimulation for my infant but it's hard on some days because exhausted!
Maybe I will be flamed for this, but during MAJOR meltdowns, sometimes we put on the "infant sensory" videos on YouTube, for about 5 minutes, and then she's calm again and we will bring her to a window/put her on the playmat/switch to our contrast board books... Maybe it's unsafe to put her in front of a screen, but the speed of the videos is really no faster than her spinning mobile, and 5 minutes every now and then is not going to be detrimental.
Maybe you could try that instead of adult programming?
From what I've read, it's not so much that watching TV is harmful, it's that it takes away from beneficial activities, like playing. Prior to age 2 there isn't much evidence kids get much from TV. I've also read that having TV on all day, like background noise can inhibit language development since kids learn from hearing us speak it can make it harder for them to hear us above the TV.
And despite the advertising for educational programming, kids learn much better from real life people so if you want to teach your kid letters or colors or whatever, you're better off teaching them directly. But I definitely use TV to help get things done on occasion. Or drink a cup of coffee in the morning. LO2 never gets purposefully pointed at the TV though, just the older kiddo.
TyrannosaurusLex - ITA about flashing/musical toys. I want to stab myself in the eye/ear/brain.