Late Term and Child Loss
shandorfml2
member
Welcome to the checkin! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations?
Whats on your mind this week?
*edited I copied it wrong!*
Loss check in
shandorfml2
member
Welcome to the checkin! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations?
Whats on your mind this week?
*edited I copied it wrong!*
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Loss check in
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue to be healthy and lose weight (I've lost 22lbs!)
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations? Last easter, we were still very much in the depths of our grief. We didn't really do anything. She wasn't even burried yet. This year, I don't know. We're not big easter people. We might go out and put some spring decorations on her grave. In the future when we have other children we might include her some how.
Whats on your mind this week? Love my baby girl!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Well we went to our first support group meeting on Wednesday. But as good as that was it was really difficult to meet a mom who is 32 weeks pregnant, which I how far I should be. There was also a mom there who lost her son on the same date we lost Ben, just nine years before.
However, I feel like in back to denial. I keep thinking this is all a bad dream and I will wake up to his kicks.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I'm going to try harder to journal a few days a week.
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations?
We didn't know how to include him. Any ideas for next year? I think that might be part of why today (when we celebrated) was so difficult.
Whats on your mind this week? I just miss him and think this is all so unfair. I'm tired if being sad and I know I have a lifetime of sadness ahead of me.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still working on exercising and eating healthily. I got a cold from DD this week so I haven't been exercising as much. I need to get better so that I can start exercising again.
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations? We didn't do anything yet this year. He was talked about a lot at our family celebration at the in law's house yesterday. I'm not sure if we are going to do anything today.
Whats on your mind this week? I finally got my first period a few days ago after thinking that it was coming for weeks. I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me and that I needed to see a doctor about it. Now I don't need to. I'm so glad.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
@shandorfml2 Way to go on losing 22lbs!
@MaiTaiBeth Thinking of you and sending prayers up for Fiona. I feel like after loss it would be so hard not to be afraid, but it sounds like you’re doing your best and that’s that counts.
@chickinNH I had a ton of anxiety going back to work, but in some ways it helped (though I jumped in too soon…you were much wiser than I in waiting a little bit longer) to have some sort of distraction at least for some of the time. I’ll be thinking of you as you head back in the next little while.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
DH and I went to a support group this past week and it was really helpful for both of us. It's nice to not feel like I had to pretend (like I feel most of the time, trying to save the feelings of others) and to know that there are others that "get it" (though I so wish they didn't). I was really nervous, but I'm so glad that we went and am planning to go back regularly.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Seeing as I didn't accomplish my last one (sorry ladies, I copped out of phoning her back and sent an email instead *sigh*)...I don't have much. I think I'm working on self-care so that I can be in a place where I want to talk to others (at least those who are being helpful) instead of just holing myself up when I'm not tending to obligations and faking it through. Healthy eating, exercising, Bible reading, the important things to me. I'm also considering starting a blog, so maybe planning for that.
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations?
We did! Our church did a really neat thing this year where you could bring a lily in honour of a loved one who had gone on before you. It wasn't exclusive to our little ones, but it was a way that we could remember her with our church family. We brought a pinkish/purple cala lily and it stood out amongst the Easter lilies. It was painful, but good.
Whats on your mind this week?
Feeling tired. Trying to get into a sleep schedule, but feeling a little bit frustrated. Still all over the place emotionally and trying to deal with that and real life. Progress, though!
I have had a much better week; not so angry and just feeling more in control of my emotions, I also began writing thank you notes for gifts/meals, etc that were given to us after Fiona passed, which was helpful in a way. It was good for me to remember just how much support we have and how many people love us and Fiona. Next Goal? Get out of sweatpants/ lounge pants. I have not worn "real" clothes since my c-section. Part of this is practical; anything with a button/snap is uncomfortable against the incision. But really, it's mostly bc I REFUSE to put on maternity clothes and my old clothes just don't fit yet. So, my goal is to go out and buy at least a few things to wear. Maybe if I look better, I will feel better.
QOTW: this year, we really didn't include Fiona, though I wanted too. We don't do a whole lot for Easter anyway. My 3 year old got her basket and we did an egg hunt and that was about it. Hubby was sick so we had to skip family Easter dinner. All that aside, I'm not quite sure how to include Fiona just yet,even though it's important to me that she always be remembered and included.
What's on your mind this week?
That my house is a disaster and needs a good cleaning. I have not been keeping up with it like I should and it shows. I think it's like the clothes thing; if the house looks better, maybe I will feel better. I've also had a hard time doing things I enjoy bc of guilt. Almost like I don't deserve to be happy or to do something fun. I know I need too and that it would be good for me, but it almost feels too soon.
@MaiTaiBeth- I am praying for Fiona (what a beautiful name)
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I caught a terrible cold last week that I'm just getting over so I've been slacking on exercising, healthy eating and going to therapy. I'm going to get back on the bandwagon this week.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
A group from my office organized a march of dimes team in our son's name and the walk is next Saturday (the day after his 5 month birthday!). I've been excited about it and our opportunity to celebrate him with friends and family but now I'm nervous and so anxious. My goal is to enjoy it as much as I can and accept whatever feelings I have that day.
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations?
Easter isn't a big holiday for us so we didn't do much. We did visit my husbands grandparents (age 95 and 98) for the first time since losing Wesley on Easter. They aren't doing great physically but are so sharp mentally and were so sweet when they talked about our son. They just said that they were so sorry for our loss and that they hope we are taking care of ourselves and each other. It was sweet. I feel bad for not visiting them sooner!
Whats on your mind this week?
I've been wondering a lot what our lives would be like with our son here. We've been thinking a lot about TTC again, we will likely start trying in the next few months. It feels weird to say but I get sad thinking about getting pregnant again and having a healthy baby and our son not being here to experience that with us. I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and not worry about things I can't control.
@maitaibeth I am sorry it's been such a hard week for you. I will be thinking of you and Fiona.
@lexusolsen I also continue to think that this has to be a very bad dream and I will wake up and it will all be back to normal. I hate this so much. Hugs to you.
@chickinNH That's awesome you went to Zumba. I hope your first day back at work today went as well as it could. I go back for my first day on Wednesday.
@lyndseyTS The lily at church was an awesome way to honor Serenity. I wish we had something like that at our church.
@teamwinforever I definitely think you should do some shopping for yourself. It's so hard to not feel comfortable in your own clothes. Enjoy some retail therapy!
@bgirma The March of Dimes walk is such a great way to honor your son. I hope the day goes so well for you!
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I think my biggest healer this week has just been time. Today marks 1 month since our loss. It seems like it was only maybe a week ago everything fell apart.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? This week is a big one. I plan to go back to work on Wednesday. I know things need to get back to "normal", but I'm not looking forward to this. I think things will be okay once I get back into the routine, but that first day back is likely going to be hard.
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations? We didn't do much except talk about missing her/feeling sad. However, that is a daily occurrence for us right now. We did just decide to celebrate Easter as a small family instead of visiting relatives. I think that was a good decision because we were able to just be and not have to "act" any specific way.
Whats on your mind this week? This is probably way to much info, but it feels good to get it out there! So please don't feel you need to read it all, but if you do you deserve a cookie or wine (whichever your preference)!
I just got back from an appointment with maternal fetal medicine and am thinking about what it means for our future. I love, love, love the doctor I met with and he helped me to feel more at peace with where we are in our journey. I'm so thankful for that. He also recommended some additional testing to be done. I've already had a ton of tests run, but one that was missing was testing for another type of clotting disorder, antiphospholipid syndrome, so we had blood work done for that. He also wanted some chromosomal testing done on DH and I to make sure there wasn't some type of translocation that could be contributing to our losses. We should get results back in about a week, so I'm anxious to know if we'll find anything significant.
He also gave me some good recommendations for other regular obgyns to work with since I wasn't completely happy with how mine handled our loss of Juliana. Finally, he let me know he would be heavily monitoring any future pregnancy and would basically do anything he could to help me feel as comfortable as possible, if we choose to go down that road again. Even though all our questions aren't completely answered yet, I feel so much better after meeting with him.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
chickinNH I’m glad that you were able to stick to the plan of starting at home. Baby steps are so much easier than jumping in all at once and give you more to celebrate. Going back into the office is definitely a great goal. Sleep is still frustrating. I just wish that I knew what “normal” was (even physically!) at this point so that I have some sort of benchmark. It seems like everything is still changing and life just won’t let up. We also recently found out that MH’s best friend has an incurable form of cancer and likely has somewhere between 2 and 7 months to live – that probably doesn’t help. When it rains, it pours? Here’s hoping that we can both find some “normal” in sleep in the next little while – whatever that may look like!
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I have targeted radiation scheduled in 2 weeks to kill this ugly brain tumor once and for all ... it may sound strange but I'm excited to get that done finally so I can move on!
QOTW: Will/how will you include your angel in Easter celebrations? I'm late to this but I wasn't in a good place this Easter - we ate at my in laws with my parents but I was depressed and didn't enjoy the day much. maybe next year I will be up to going to services and making more of the holiday.
Whats on your mind this week? Just trying to move forward and getting thru the fog. I've been up and out each day working on the house but exhausted because I'm still not sleeping well. The heaviness is still there but crying has subsided to once or twice a day- group counseling is next week so looking forward to that.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
@jellybean71514 Also sending positive thoughts your way. You have such a good attitude about it all. I think that I need to take a lesson from you. ((hugs))