Screening Question - Elevated Down's Odds

Re: Screening Question - Elevated Down's Odds

• rlyttle member

  April 2014

  You have a .3% chance of having downs. That is still VERY low. To me an amnio would not be worth it because of the risks of it. Plus, what would you do with the information? The combinations of the screening & the AS will give you about a 95% accurate reading. (at least that is what my doctor told me) If it were me I would try to relax & wait for the AS. 

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• slovacmom member

  April 2014

  Thanks for the advice. I was definitely waiting for the a/s before I make a decision but even if there are 0 markers I have heard that can mean nothing and I'd almost want the amnio to be sure. I do not want to sound like... an ass? But I would consider termination or adoption of my child had down's.

   I would not terminate if not 100% sure, and I do feel bad to be putting a handicapped child in "system" but I do not personally feel I could care for a disabled child beyond mild autism like aspergers. Do not want debate about topic and I am so proud of mothers who successfully raise down's children. Its hard work and it's amazing to see such strong women but I am not one of them.

  
  

  Guess I want to be prepared before baby is born if I will need to arrange an adoption, and my odds for my aged scared me I guess I could say. After suffering a loss I am terrified of losing this baby due to termination or adoption.

  

  
  

  Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  

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• mrsH1112 member

  April 2014

  
  

  slovacmom said:

  Thanks for the advice. I was definitely waiting for the a/s before I make a decision but even if there are 0 markers I have heard that can mean nothing and I'd almost want the amnio to be sure. I do not want to sound like... an ass? But I would consider termination or adoption of my child had down's.

   I would not terminate if not 100% sure, and I do feel bad to be putting a handicapped child in "system" but I do not personally feel I could care for a disabled child beyond mild autism like aspergers. Do not want debate about topic and I am so proud of mothers who successfully raise down's children. Its hard work and it's amazing to see such strong women but I am not one of them.

  
  

  Guess I want to be prepared before baby is born if I will need to arrange an adoption, and my odds for my aged scared me I guess I could say. After suffering a loss I am terrified of losing this baby due to termination or adoption.

  UGH...I want to preface this by saying, In the 4 months I have been on The Bump and been an active participant on these boards, I have never flamed any one, and I usually dont jump on bandwagons when people get blasted.  I KNOW you say you dont want to be judged, but this is an internet open forum and you are opening yourself up to it and its impossible not to be judged.
  
  I will also come out and say I am pro choice, 100%.  It might not be a route Id take but I absoultey respect a woman's decision to do whatever she decides is best for her/ her body/ her family.
  
  HOWEVER.  I honestly cant even believe you would be so flippant with your views and opinons the way you are.
  
  You talk about being scared of losing this baby to termination or adoption.  Those arent losses.  Losses are what you experienced before, or what many poor women on these boards have had to deal with.  When you choose to end your pregnancy or give your baby up for adoption, thats not a loss, thats something you chose to do!
  
  If you arent prepared to possibly have a child with a possible handicap then you arent ready to have a child. PERIOD.  There is no guarantee to any of us that our children wont have some type of handicap.  Even if your child is born healthy, who is to say you dont find out at 2 years old they have Autism.  Or are deaf, or have a learning disorder.  Do you find out and just give that kid up for adoption too?
  
  Do any of us choose to have a child to be handicapped?  No of course not.  We all want healthy happy, children with no developmental disorders.  I totally get that.   Yet to say you arent ready or able to love your child when they are born and know youd give that baby up like that...to me you arent ready in general to have a child.  I just cant imagine having carried this baby almost 18 weeks, and boding with it and hoping and praying every day that my baby will be healthy and make it the whole 40 weeks, and everything will be ok...to just give up on it like that. 
  
  I do applaud your honesty about it though.  I totally judge you for it, but I think you are being very honest.
  
  Good luck.   Ask your dr about the chance of no markers on your  A/S and still having a child with downs.  If your not comfortable with that, then go with the Amnio so you can be sure before you make the decision you feel you have to make.
  

  DH and I Married 11.12.10
  First BPP 1.24.14
  EDD 9.26.14
  Baby Cooper John born on 9.24.14 6lbs9oz
  
  
  

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• rlyttle member

  April 2014

  Before having an amnio I would request the Harmony, Materni21, Pararama, ect test. Talk to your doctor about this asap. I understand that you don't think you could care for a child that had downs, but BELIEVE me, a perfectly "normal/healthy" child comes with their own challenges. I have a healthy 3 year old DS and he can be down right DIFFICULT!! Downs children can be so sweet & caring. Every child is going to bring you joy & heartache, no matter their health status.  I think you need to think of everything before you make an ultimate decision. GL!

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• blush64 member

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  If you need an absolute answer get the amnio. I agree with @kitchencolors‌ be careful about judgement. Sometimes a situation is hard to fully understand when you have not been faced with it. I had an increased risk of a serious issue and we decided to have an amnio. Even though I was not considering termination I refuse to judge someone in that situation who considers it.
  
  One thing I wanted to mention is that rather than saying "downs babies" or "downs children" why not say a baby or child who has Down syndrome.
  
  @mrsH1112‌ I just wanted to say that there can be loss with an abortion or adoption. Just because a woman chooses to have an abortion or to make an adoption plan it doesn't mean she will feel no loss or emotional pain. It won't be the same as a miscarriage or late loss but it can be felt as a loss for some women. I just wanted to post this because of a few women I know and what I have seen them go through. Edit to add, I don't mean anything in a negative way, I just wanted to offer another opinion on loss from abortion and adoption because taking away their right to feel loss because it was their choice seems so unfair. I am not saying they will or should feel loss, just that it is one possible emotion they might feel.
  
  
  
  

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• rlyttle member

  April 2014

  kitchencolors said:

  rlyttle said:

  Before having an amnio I would request the Harmony, Materni21, Pararama, ect test. Talk to your doctor about this asap. I understand that you don't think you could care for a child that had downs, but BELIEVE me, a perfectly "normal/healthy" child comes with their own challenges. I have a healthy 3 year old DS and he can be down right DIFFICULT!! Downs children can be so sweet & caring. Every child is going to bring you joy & heartache, no matter their health status.  I think you need to think of everything before you make an ultimate decision. GL!

  I don't want to nitpick, but I feel compelled to point this out to you about your mention of healthy children: my daughter was born healthy and has been a healthy child (with Down syndrome).  Ds isn't a "health status".  There are a variety of health problems for which Ds puts an individual at greater risk, but it's not about healthy or not-healthy. 
  
  Of course I'd say that my daughter is sweet and caring sometimes... I think that because I'm her mom and she's my child.  It has nothing to do with Down syndrome.
  

  That's why I said "healthy/normal" in quotes. I will admit that I don't know the correct terminology. And I think we agree on the "sweet & caring" part. I was trying to say that they are children too & the can be just as sweet & caring with or without down syndrome, but children can be difficult & challenging with or without down syndrome. Sorry if it came out the wrong way. No judgement here. 

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• poptart109 member

  April 2014

  At the age of 23 my risk was 1/200. I had an NT scan to check for markers and seen we had a healthy, normal baby boy. The materniT and other chromosomal tests weren't offered then, just an amnio that I refused. I had no family history of downs and had a supportive family. I'd say go with the NT scan and a blood test that will be less invasive to your baby.

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• slovacmom member

  April 2014

  Thank you everyone for your comments and opinions. The A/S yesterday went great! There were no hard or soft marks and though we were planning on waiting for the sex we changed our minds and found out we are having a GIRL! 

  
  

  We're probably just going to do the blood test, but are pretty confident things will be okay. The tech and my doctor after call-back were very reassuring.

  

  
  

  Still learning English! Sometimes I don't know what things are named...  

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• LucilleAustero member

  April 2014

  mrsH1112 said:

  
  

  slovacmom said:

  Thanks for the advice. I was definitely waiting for the a/s before I make a decision but even if there are 0 markers I have heard that can mean nothing and I'd almost want the amnio to be sure. I do not want to sound like... an ass? But I would consider termination or adoption of my child had down's.

   I would not terminate if not 100% sure, and I do feel bad to be putting a handicapped child in "system" but I do not personally feel I could care for a disabled child beyond mild autism like aspergers. Do not want debate about topic and I am so proud of mothers who successfully raise down's children. Its hard work and it's amazing to see such strong women but I am not one of them.

  
  

  Guess I want to be prepared before baby is born if I will need to arrange an adoption, and my odds for my aged scared me I guess I could say. After suffering a loss I am terrified of losing this baby due to termination or adoption.

  UGH...I want to preface this by saying, In the 4 months I have been on The Bump and been an active participant on these boards, I have never flamed any one, and I usually dont jump on bandwagons when people get blasted.  I KNOW you say you dont want to be judged, but this is an internet open forum and you are opening yourself up to it and its impossible not to be judged.
  
  I will also come out and say I am pro choice, 100%.  It might not be a route Id take but I absoultey respect a woman's decision to do whatever she decides is best for her/ her body/ her family.
  
  HOWEVER.  I honestly cant even believe you would be so flippant with your views and opinons the way you are.
  
  You talk about being scared of losing this baby to termination or adoption.  Those arent losses.  Losses are what you experienced before, or what many poor women on these boards have had to deal with.  When you choose to end your pregnancy or give your baby up for adoption, thats not a loss, thats something you chose to do!
  
  If you arent prepared to possibly have a child with a possible handicap then you arent ready to have a child. PERIOD.  There is no guarantee to any of us that our children wont have some type of handicap.  Even if your child is born healthy, who is to say you dont find out at 2 years old they have Autism.  Or are deaf, or have a learning disorder.  Do you find out and just give that kid up for adoption too?
  
  Do any of us choose to have a child to be handicapped?  No of course not.  We all want healthy happy, children with no developmental disorders.  I totally get that.   Yet to say you arent ready or able to love your child when they are born and know youd give that baby up like that...to me you arent ready in general to have a child.  I just cant imagine having carried this baby almost 18 weeks, and boding with it and hoping and praying every day that my baby will be healthy and make it the whole 40 weeks, and everything will be ok...to just give up on it like that. 
  
  I do applaud your honesty about it though.  I totally judge you for it, but I think you are being very honest.
  
  Good luck.   Ask your dr about the chance of no markers on your  A/S and still having a child with downs.  If your not comfortable with that, then go with the Amnio so you can be sure before you make the decision you feel you have to make.
  

  
  You do not have the first clue what you are talking about. Honestly and truly, your opinion comes from a place of absolute ignorance. Unless you have firsthand experience being a parent to a child with a disability, you need to stfu.

  

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