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December 2014 Moms
JaymeeLH
member
NBR standing up for myself
JaymeeLH
member
I just need somewhere to get this out.
Tonight FI texted me and then asked me what was wrong when I was a little short with my response. I told him that I'm an emotional basket case and hormonal. So he said something irrelevant and then said he was going back to bed, so I simply said kay, nothing more nothing less. Well apparently that was just TOO MUCH for him and he launched into some tirade about not taking my bad attitude out on him and how I've been nothing but nasty to him lately. Uhhhh I don't know where that came from... So I told him that I was not trying to be nasty or mean, I was only responding to him, so being the a$$ that he can be, goes "kay". So I told him to lay off because I'm already having a rough night, and he just kept repeating the kay because he KNOWS that's going to get me worked up, especially when I'm already hyperemotional. So then he turned it around on me and makes some comment about how "another night we're going to bed fighting" and goes on about how he hates fighting with me, after he picked a fight with me. So I called him on it, told him I'm tired of him picking fights then turning it around on me, making me feel like I'm the one who caused it and then next thing I know, I'm apologizing. So now I'm on a roll and point out how he does this time and time again and he has totally lost regard for my emotions, to which he simply says he doesn't have time for this, he has MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO WORRY ABOUT and that he's going to bed. Welp you just really pissed off the emotional basket case now and obviously I can't drop it now, so I called him on always finding an out when I make a point that makes him uncomfortable or calls him on his shit. So we go back and forth for a little bit, and then he throws out that I shouldn't bother coming on Sunday, he's not going to live with me it's pointless. Typical him, threaten something you know is important to me. I snapped. I told him to get his shit together and start treating me like he gives half a shit about my emotions (he seems to think buying THINGS equates affection) or I can't do this anymore. I cry myself to sleep 5/7 nights a week these days because he's just stopped caring about how he treats me, it just doesn't matter to him.
I don't want to leave him. But I cannot raise my LO in that kind of environment.
Tonight FI texted me and then asked me what was wrong when I was a little short with my response. I told him that I'm an emotional basket case and hormonal. So he said something irrelevant and then said he was going back to bed, so I simply said kay, nothing more nothing less. Well apparently that was just TOO MUCH for him and he launched into some tirade about not taking my bad attitude out on him and how I've been nothing but nasty to him lately. Uhhhh I don't know where that came from... So I told him that I was not trying to be nasty or mean, I was only responding to him, so being the a$$ that he can be, goes "kay". So I told him to lay off because I'm already having a rough night, and he just kept repeating the kay because he KNOWS that's going to get me worked up, especially when I'm already hyperemotional. So then he turned it around on me and makes some comment about how "another night we're going to bed fighting" and goes on about how he hates fighting with me, after he picked a fight with me. So I called him on it, told him I'm tired of him picking fights then turning it around on me, making me feel like I'm the one who caused it and then next thing I know, I'm apologizing. So now I'm on a roll and point out how he does this time and time again and he has totally lost regard for my emotions, to which he simply says he doesn't have time for this, he has MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO WORRY ABOUT and that he's going to bed. Welp you just really pissed off the emotional basket case now and obviously I can't drop it now, so I called him on always finding an out when I make a point that makes him uncomfortable or calls him on his shit. So we go back and forth for a little bit, and then he throws out that I shouldn't bother coming on Sunday, he's not going to live with me it's pointless. Typical him, threaten something you know is important to me. I snapped. I told him to get his shit together and start treating me like he gives half a shit about my emotions (he seems to think buying THINGS equates affection) or I can't do this anymore. I cry myself to sleep 5/7 nights a week these days because he's just stopped caring about how he treats me, it just doesn't matter to him.
I don't want to leave him. But I cannot raise my LO in that kind of environment.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR standing up for myself
If you want him to take your emotions and needs seriously I highly suggest a calm face to face conversation.
Also, maybe buying you things is how he shows affection. If you've got time, look up love languages. Everyone has one, and one of those is gifts. It took me a while to get used to, but I love it now when my hubby comes home with a little something special for me. It lets me know that he's been thinking about me when he's not with me.
*hugs* I'll keep my fx for you.
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
Hope tomorrow is a better day! Sleep does wonders for mulling things over.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
Keep us updated. I really hope things take a turn for the better.
I'm a bit sensitive to this b/c I'm a child of domestic abuse and I never want to see another child raised in that environment. It's so much more damaging to be in a stressful, angry home than it is to be raised by a single mother or father. I'm not saying your situation is anywhere close to that bad but just be careful and aware that things don't usually get easier as time goes on. New stressors will always arrive and it's best to handle them as soon as you can. I hope you can get some help before your LO gets here so you can have a happy, healthy family.