Sure it's been discussed but...

Brigie029 · April 2014

When do you call your immediate family? I have my own opinion and DH thinks everyone should be updated all the time. What happened to privacy and enjoying (ha) the moment first. Anyone else have this?

deidremaria · April 2014

IMPO it's all based on the family dynamic.

ksulli · April 2014

I was induced so they all knew. DH sent text message updates periodically.

With dd1 we went in at midnight, so we didn't call anybody until morning. I think we told just parents and let them call siblings around 8am. My parents needed to hit the road for a 5hr drive. Then when she arrived DH sent out a massive text.

totally up to you. And if anybody gives you crap remind them that when we were born, nobody heard a peep until everything was settled and dad could find a pay phone.

PoppySeedWindsor · April 2014

We texted the MIL and my mom when we went to the hospital, about 10 hours after laboring at home. MIL was here in Kentucky with us while my folks were in WA state. MIL came in periodically to check in on us (not that I noticed and/or cared) and she sent the updates to my mom who then updated my siblings. I think that worked out fine, but then again, we're a thousand+ miles away from all of our family.

Rrrrrachel · April 2014

Delivered at 2am and sent emails/texts pretty quickly. But it's whatever works for you. It's a personal moment and if you want to savor it I don't think there's anything wrong with that

hlm184 · April 2014

We let my parents know when we went to the hospital. Called again with an update to reassure them since it was a long labor. Then they and everyone on our "list" got a call about an hour after LO was born. But we live far away from everyone so hospital visits weren't an issue.

MamaFantastic · April 2014

i'm not a good one to ask

we called my brother (who lives in the same town) at 3am when i first went into labor because things were progressing so quickly that we weren't sure if my parents (who live an hour away) would arrive in time to keep watch over our sleeping kiddo while we went to the hospital. as it turns out, they did arrive in plenty of time, so my parents AND my brother were all at my house while i labored by myself on the toilet upstairs. my mom accompanied us to the hospital and stayed with me while i delivered, and my dad and brother brought kiddo to the hospital later that same morning for a visit.

my family is awesome and we're very enmeshed

it would have felt very weird and wrong to NOT inform them of every step along the way. that's just how we roll in the MF family!

Emily041285 · April 2014

We told our parents when I got admitted and I regret that. My mother would not leave us alone. (She lives out of state so it was constant texting). I also called my SIL and she was awesome, also out of state but way more supportive.

rlmanning · April 2014

We had a waiting room full of family sitting on pins and needles to find out if the newest member of the family was a boy or girl! But we are a very close family and it would have felt weird to not have everyone there waiting.

strawberrytree · April 2014

My mom was staying with us and watching DS1 so she knew when we left for the hospital. Everybody else got a text or a call after he was born and we were in the recovery room. For us giving birth is more about our immediate family (DH, DS1, DS2, and I). I agree that the telling of people should be at your comfort level, and not DH's, since you are the one actually going through childbirth.

fourthnlast · April 2014

My mom got called at 11pm to come over so we could go to the hospital, Emma was born at 3am, we sent a group text to my family and one to dh's family about 7am.

lcr23 · April 2014

We were induced so our parents were there pretty much the whole time. I thought it was silly for them to wait there all day but they wanted to and it didn't bother me since they didn't come back to l&d. I asked my mom to come back twice & DHs mom snuck down once.
I will say it was a bit stressful right after the baby was born because they had been waiting for so long and wanted to come back right away.

Dixon813 · April 2014

Parents and in laws knew when we were heading to the hospital. (In laws we're watching SS) but I just looked back through texts and we didn't text our siblings for two hours after DS was born. We were so busy soaking in every moment.

I know we called our parents sooner (it was still probably an hour. I remember a lot of chaos - 2 OBs, 2 nurses, 2 baby nurses... So we waited until it cleared...)but told them to wait to visit until we were out of L&D

nikki912 · April 2014

We will let both sets of parents know when we head to the birth center but that's because we are 6 hours away! Our families are also really respectful they would only come when If we said it was okay.

Erikahenderson1 · April 2014

We let the family know I was in L&D but it was like 1am. I liked it just being the two of us and honestly there was noooo way I could entertain guests until at least after I had the epidural. Contractions were not my moment in lights that's for sure. After the baby came we spent the hour just the 3 of us. I recommend that. But it's nice to have your favorites come in and enjoy this new life they plan on loving for the rest of theirs when it's all still fresh.

HNRomance · April 2014

we argued about it at first but I had the same privacy issue. It was a dealbreaker kind of issue for me so DH finally reluctantly agreed. We didn't call or text anybody until LO was born. We had no visitors in the hospital at all which was nice actually. We only had ourselves to deal with and I was able to nap at every opportunity rather than try to feel human enough for company. I think I will always look back on that fondly like our own little first-days bubble.

chichi589 · April 2014

I called my mom on our way to the hospital and she came right away. My SOs mom came closer to 10pm (we arrived at 7) and I let her stay in the room with us which I didn't expect but I didn't care about anything but getting the baby out. My mom texted my dad and brothers and SO took care of updating everyone else. I thought I would care but when it came to it the last thing I cared about was anyone else besides myself and pending baby.

JBellacqua84 · April 2014

I was induced so everyone knew I was in the hospital. My husband sent very brief and vague updates every once in awhile. We felt like family didn't need to know how dilated I was and stuff. We ended up having a c section and called parents an hour or so after. We also had no visitors until the next night and limited hospital visits to grandparents only.

buffyjsa · April 2014

We have a number of people insisting on knowing when I go into labor and any update they can get. I do not want to let anyone know when I go into labor; I feel they can find out when she's born. However, my husband's father is constantly harassing for news, so my husband plans on letting everyone know when labor starts, though I may argue more harshly at the time.

The birth center will not let anyone in unless I allow it, and I have made it clear that I want no one there with my except my husband; I have refused to even give the address of the birth center, though no one has pushed that aspect.

I also told my husband that, based on some really horrible stuff that has happened recently, I'd like to call my dad first and let him know when she's born, as a small "gift" to him. When I brought that up, I was accused of playing favoritism with my family and that everyone should get a mass text (minus my grandparents, who do not text). I told him I do not want to reward negative behavior and I can't help it, but of course I will favor my side of the family over his. Though we will have to see what happens when she finally decides to show up!

Emztron500 · April 2014

I have a very large family and didn't want to deal with all of them at once - I knew I would forget somebody and cause hurt feelings, and would be totally overwhelmed by text messages. I only told my mum when I went into labour because I wanted her to be there. It became apparent pretty quickly that she was telling absolutely everyone everything because I started getting encouraging texts when I was still labouring at home, but I just ignored them and let my mum be the only point of contact. DH wanted to keep his (much smaller) family in the loop so he just sent them texts here and there. I ended up with a lot of visitors in the hospital but it was alright - I just went ahead and told them when I needed to be alone for a bit (for checks from the nurses, feeding, etc) but I can see how you might want to avoid that. I was at home by myself so fast, I found myself missing all those visitors...