Baby only sleeps being held

nikkimorello · April 2014

Baby Lucas is one week old and will only fall asleep in our arms at night. During the day he'll fall asleep in his swing or car seat, but when we try to get him in his PNP at night he's not having it. We've tried putting him in there awake and putting him there after he falls asleep, but neither works. He's basically up all night long (days and nights still mixed up) but is generally not fussy. I want to make sure we are putting him safely on his back in his PNP but it's nearly impossible to not fall asleep when he falls asleep in our arms. DH returned to work yesterday and I am starting to get worried about having no sleep at night. Any insight or recommendations?

cwm11985 · April 2014

Try a Rock n Play; its a wonderful invention.

nikkimorello · April 2014

We've tried the RNP and a co-sleeper with the same results

Stace0616 · April 2014

We've been using a sound machine (set on heartbeat) as well as a SleepSack swaddled only at "night" aka 9pm-8am. He is getting a little better at recognizing nighttime is also for sleeping, though we are still working on it. His most active time was always like 1-5am in utero, so I imagine after nine months of being active at night, it'll probably take us awhile to teach him good sleeping habits.

MissWhis · April 2014

I'm in the same boat. I just keep trying the RNP - sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I'm also making space in our bed for her when needed - which is about half the night lately. I figure falling asleep when I know she's next to me and blankets/pillows are away from her is safer than simply passing out from tiredness while holding her in bed. I had no interest in being a bed-sharer, but have become one out of a need for sleep.

Laroo0220 · April 2014

Stace0616 said:
We've been using a sound machine (set on heartbeat) as well as a SleepSack swaddled only at "night" aka 9pm-8am. He is getting a little better at recognizing nighttime is also for sleeping, though we are still working on it. His most active time was always like 1-5am in utero, so I imagine after nine months of being active at night, it'll probably take us awhile to teach him good sleeping habits.

This is what were doing. Swaddled at night only. She seems to know now swaddled means sleep. We also use a white noise machine and I put her on her side slightly to sleep. I know that's naughty but she hates being flat on her back and spits up often. We also don't stay quiet during the day and keep all the blinds open. At night we whisper and keep it darker.

Teresa1896 · April 2014

We're going through the same thing. LO will fall asleep nursing and then wake up screaming bloody murder when I put him in the p&P (same goes for the bouncy seat and swing). He's good for one or maybe 2 3-4 stretches in the P&P, but the rest of the night he's screaming and not wanting to be put down. He sleeps really well in the boppy during the day (right next to me on the couch, so I don't worry about him suffocating) but I don't want to put him in there at night when I won't be watching him.

LittleLady77 · April 2014

Sometimes when I put Kiera down she will fuss a little then she'll pass out. Is your baby really crying or just fussing when you put him down? I second the white noise and swaddle only at night so they know when sleepy time is supposed to be.

hordol · April 2014

Our little one has this problem at night. During the day he is able to nap in the rock n play just fine, but at night he just wants to snuggle while he sleeps. I wait until he is good and out before laying him down, but he only seems to make it a few minutes before he starts to cry no matter what. It's frustrating. Glad to see some of the suggestions here. I'm going to try a white noise app on my phone tonight.

selina1113 · April 2014

I have seen some suggest using heating pad to keep things warm (like body heat is) then pull it off before you lay baby down.

janice9821 · April 2014

MissWhis said:
I'm in the same boat. I just keep trying the RNP - sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I'm also making space in our bed for her when needed - which is about half the night lately. I figure falling asleep when I know she's next to me and blankets/pillows are away from her is safer than simply passing out from tiredness while holding her in bed. I had no interest in being a bed-sharer, but have become one out of a need for sleep.

This is me, too. I feel like a huge hypocrite because I teach safe sleep as part of my job, and professionally have to be against bed sharing... but it's that or fall asleep holding her, which is much more dangerous. I keep trying the PNP and hopefully she will eventually be able to sleep there.

fourthnlast · April 2014

Ooopsbaby14 said:
How are you holding him? My DD likes to sleep on our chests with one cheek pressed against us. We've found if we put her down in her RNP and we roll her slightly on her side, she presses her cheek against it and settles in quickly. I always try to mimic the position she is sleeping in my arms to wherever I am putting her down.

This! If i put her slightly to the side in the RNP. Win!!!

hordol · April 2014

How many of you use your rock n play overnight? We have one and DS naps in it, but I'm a little hesitant about overnight since it technically doesn't meet AAP standards for safe sleeping. I'm a paranoid rule follower in general. DS looks safe in it, doesn't look like it's keeping his chin too tucked or anything. But I'm still nervous...

snowbound · April 2014

I'm having this problem also. I think (for me at least) it's a temperature issue. He sleeps amazing on my chest doing skin to skin but he's having a hard time sleeping anywhere else. I turned on the space heater and bundled him up today and he has been content.

Ashleypixie · April 2014

We're dealing with the same thing. She passes out when she eats but when I put her in her bassinet she wakes up a minute later. So I got a portable little bed basket to put between us. She'll sleep for hours in that thing! I was never fond of the whole bed sharing thing but so far this little thing has been a life changer. And it's safe. At some point I'm going to gradually work her way into the bassinet for a few hours at a time and eventually her crib.

hordol · April 2014

Ashleypixie said:
We're dealing with the same thing. She passes out when she eats but when I put her in her bassinet she wakes up a minute later. So I got a portable little bed basket to put between us. She'll sleep for hours in that thing! I was never fond of the whole bed sharing thing but so far this little thing has been a life changer. And it's safe. At some point I'm going to gradually work her way into the bassinet for a few hours at a time and eventually her crib.

I've been considering one of those bed baskets! Little one is only 6 days old so I plan to wait a little longer before I jump to that, but it's good to hear it worked for you!

maelic · April 2014

hordol said:
How many of you use your rock n play overnight? We have one and DS naps in it, but I'm a little hesitant about overnight since it technically doesn't meet AAP standards for safe sleeping. I'm a paranoid rule follower in general. DS looks safe in it, doesn't look like it's keeping his chin too tucked or anything. But I'm still nervous...

We're using it at the suggestion of our pedi. I'm in your boat, it makes me rather panicky, but the pedi was very reassuring about the actual increase in risk: from extremely minimal to slightly less extremely minimal.

MissWhis · April 2014

Ashleypixie said:
We're dealing with the same thing. She passes out when she eats but when I put her in her bassinet she wakes up a minute later. So I got a portable little bed basket to put between us. She'll sleep for hours in that thing! I was never fond of the whole bed sharing thing but so far this little thing has been a life changer. And it's safe. At some point I'm going to gradually work her way into the bassinet for a few hours at a time and eventually her crib.

Can you link to what you have? I might need one of these things ASAP.

fourthnlast · April 2014

hordol said:
How many of you use your rock n play overnight? We have one and DS naps in it, but I'm a little hesitant about overnight since it technically doesn't meet AAP standards for safe sleeping. I'm a paranoid rule follower in general. DS looks safe in it, doesn't look like it's keeping his chin too tucked or anything. But I'm still nervous...

We use it overnight, but it's not like she's sleeping 8+ hours in it. Her longest stretch was 5 hours, but it's typically 2-3 hours.

nikkimorello · April 2014

We had a mini breakthrough at 5am this morning! I put him in his PNP totally milk drunk and he slept until 7:30! I think maybe out bigger problem is having our days and nights confused. I hate that there are no clear cut answers to any of this and I feel like I'm just guessing on what's going on! I've made a conscious effort to put him on his back when napping today so he gets more comfortable with it, and I was able to keep him up for 1.5 hours after his 4pm feeding. Not sure how much more I need to keep him up during the day to really see a difference though.

This sleep deprivation mixed with postpartum hormones is no joke.

Jmblue · April 2014

We have exact same problem here. She sleeps in r&p during day, although I feel like she sleeps better & longer when we hold her. But at night she will not sleep in it at all. We've tried letting her cry it out, she's still crying an hour later. SO... We are letting her skeep w us. I always said i would NEVER do that, but I feel like it's keeping me from going insane and she does seem safe and cozy, believe it or not. No covers near her. Hopefully it's for a limited amount of time. I just feel like she needs my body heat. I feel bad leaving a newborn all by herself in a crib- I know I'm being ridic.

AcaAwkward · April 2014

We also have a cuddly sleeper -- he had to sleep in my arms for his first week. We just kept trying the RNP until he worked up to two nighttime stretches. We swaddle loosely (he likes hand access), put on white noise, and lay a warm minky blanket on the bottom half of the RNP & then fold it up and tuck it around his lower half so he's super snuggly (but the blanket isn't underneath his head or near his face).

Merlyna04 · April 2014

Omg I tough I was the only one I try everything but nothing .

Yogini6911 · April 2014

Our LO was like this too. We warm his bassinet with a heating pad before we put him in and this has been the secret for us. We feel your pain!

HNRomance · April 2014

Our LO has night/ day mixed up and it is HARD to get him up during the day even to feed. He is more alert when he gets chilly so he gets swaddled for sleep time and loosely blanketed, just in clothes or naked skin-to-skin for awake time. I think we are slowly making some progress...

juniper75 · April 2014

DD is two weeks tomorrow and we are still dealing with this. I keep trying different things and even if I can get something to work once it doesn't work the next night. She will sleep laying on her own during the day. Co-sleeping doesn't seem to do the trick either. What little sleep I get a night is usually in the glider rocker after a feeding. I keep telling myself this too shall pass.... I don't remember having this hard a time with DD1 but then again most of her first months are just a blurr to me now.

Nightime sucks a**

hordol · April 2014

Acers said:
Our breakthrough was realizing she needed to eat more before bed. I've already been pumping and bottle feeding because BFing was so painful. Now that I have a new shield it doesn't hurt as much but the sessions are loooong so I BF most all sessions but the night one. We give her a bigger bottle than usual right before bed- that way it's in and we know it's a bigger amount. Most importantly we change her diaper and swaddle her in the fleece sleep sack before the feeding. After feeding and burping she usually zonks. Last night she slept almost a 5 hour stretch after that routine.

I've been debating topping DS off with a pumped bottle before bed, too, to see how that helps. Glad to hear it's worked for you!

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