Formula Questions for STM

keeumm · April 2014

My sister leads a very unhealthy lifestyle. She and I have a strained relationship that mostly consists of liking each other's posts on FB. My brother, who also does not get along with her, saw her at Easter. He told me that my sister's 1 year old daughter is still only receiving formula.

According to what my brother said, my sister has tried to give my niece food, but my niece throws up the food every time she tries it. No one is sure how many times she has actually tried food. My sister is not concerned, and said her doctor is also not concerned (though it's entirely possible that my sister is lying about bringing this up to the doctor).

My questions:

How much should my family be trying to encourage my sister to keep trying food? Is it normal/healthy for a 1 year old to only be getting formula because she's throwing up everything else, or could there be something more serious going on?

ETA: Thank you in advance for your help! If it is a serious problem, this would not be the first time that we would have to step in to help my sister out. Ugh...Family.

CMDR513 · April 2014

No it's not normal. By 1, most babies are weaning off formula. Most are eating food as well.

keeumm · April 2014

Okay, that's what I thought. I wanted to check with real people, too, just to make sure before I would say anything.

CamrynnsMommy · April 2014

I agree it doesn't seem normal, but if she's throwing up food and that's the only way to get nutrients, then she might not be lying.

usernewname · April 2014

I've known 3 year olds on formula because parents are worried about calories - yet couldn't figure out why the child didn't want real food. Well because formula is filling them up!

Keep trying, hopefully she will see soon - formula is expensive, I'm sure its adding up!

keeumm · April 2014

@CamrynnsMommy - Do you know of any reason that she might be throwing up everything that isn't formula? Being a FTM, I am not sure how that works regarding changing from formula to food. Is that a reaction that could happen when a baby's diet changes?

CamrynnsMommy · April 2014

I'm not to sure, I've heard of some children not being able to tolerate the texture of food, which in turn makes them throw up, but I'd think at that point there'd be specialists involved, to ensure she's not a case of "failure to thrive".

keeumm · April 2014

Interesting. My niece is a very healthy weight and seems to be hitting major milestones (walking, talking) at the right times. @Florassecret - I think you bring up a good point. My sister is known for giving my niece a bottle as soon as my niece shows any sign of being upset. To the best of my knowledge there is no feeding schedule- instead, whenever niece whimpers, she gets a bottle.

LoveIsAll25 · April 2014

It is NOT healthy for a 1 year old to only drink formula. Formula does NOT have all the nutrients and vitamins a growing 1 year old needs. My cousin had twins that were throwing up all their baby food when she started feeding them solids around 6 months. Eventually and after much testing she found out her twins were both allergic to various foods. Example, one is allergic to bananas and apples and the other isn't.... The list goes on... She needs to take your niece to a specialist and find out if she has severe allergies or another type of digestive problem.

usernewname · April 2014

CamrynnsMommy said:

I'm not to sure, I've heard of some children not being able to tolerate the texture of food, which in turn makes them throw up, but I'd think at that point there'd be specialists involved, to ensure she's not a case of "failure to thrive".

My cousin was like that. He's like 6 now and is beginning to eat normally. However, I am unsure if it was a physical thing, or how food was presented to him.

She could have allergies to real food now since she hasn't been exposed to foods - I don't always jump to allergies, but there could be something there too.

keeumm · April 2014

Loving all this feedback!

I'm glad that you pointed out that it is not necessarily about parenting, and could definitely be a bigger issue with sensory problems or allergies. This will be a good starter for a conversation with my sister about potential issues that need to be addressed.

Solid foods have not been introduced because purees went so poorly. Could this also be a reflux issue?

usernewname · April 2014

kitchencolors said:

florassecret said:

I've known 3 year olds on formula because parents are worried about calories - yet couldn't figure out why the child didn't want real food. Well because formula is filling them up!

Keep trying, hopefully she will see soon - formula is expensive, I'm sure its adding up!

Or the child has sensory problems or other feeding issues. This stuff isn't always bad parenting. DD won't finger feed at all and she's almost two. It's not that I have never bothered to try giving her real food.

My opinion about the situation:

To me it seems like something that needs to be addressed ASAP. The throwing up food seems concerning if it's purees. If she's just gagging on solid finger food, that's not throwing up, and she should get the hang of it. If she doesn't, then again, I'd be concerned. I think it warrants further discussion with a pedi and probably an EI evaluation for feeding therapy. I find it odd that a pedi didn't at least think it warranted close attention.

Of course its not bad parenting, sometimes thats what happens to get them the calories.

Sorry kitchen - I didn't give the full story. Parents would come and say they don't eat at home, how do you get them to eat at lunch/snack? Once they say they are on the bottle I suggest removing it and the child usually begins eating meals. But these are children with no other issues, sensory or feeding. Just getting calories from sources other than food.

usernewname · April 2014

kitchencolors said:

florassecret said:

CamrynnsMommy said:

I'm not to sure, I've heard of some children not being able to tolerate the texture of food, which in turn makes them throw up, but I'd think at that point there'd be specialists involved, to ensure she's not a case of "failure to thrive".

My cousin was like that. He's like 6 now and is beginning to eat normally. However, I am unsure if it was a physical thing, or how food was presented to him.

She could have allergies to real food now since she hasn't been exposed to foods - I don't always jump to allergies, but there could be something there too.

I don't want to pick on you, BUT. I imagine it's extremely rare that children who can't tolerate texture and throw up a large portion of their food because of it are having the problem because food was presented improperly by parents.

Nah pick away. I'm clearly not explaining myself tonight. I don't know his situation or what not so I am probably being judgy. I meant in his case though, not as a general assumption.

keeumm · April 2014

@kitchencolors - Could the problem of how food is being presented be that my sister has not tried enough times to give my niece food? Or maybe she has not tried a food that my niece would actually like?

I read some research about how babies won't let themselves starve, so eventually they will eat, though I don't know how accurate that is. I also don't know how reasonable that would be if the baby knows she'll get formula if she refuses food.

Unfortunately, knowing my sister, it is not impossible to believe that she would try one type of food and if my niece didn't like it, give up.

keeumm · April 2014

Not that I know of. We live in different states, and all of my information comes from my family members who interact with them regularly. Usually these interactions are for meals, and take place approximately 2-3x a week.

Based on what they've said, she does not seem interested in eating from my sister's plate, nor is she reaching for anyone else's food.

ABColeslaw · April 2014

I mean I know your relationship is strained, but you could ask her about the throwing up stuff. Formula only until well past 3 doesn't strike me as weird because my son has a feeding disorder that includes espophogeal issues, sensory issues, and food allergies. So yes, it could be a problem her pedi just isn't qualified to pick up on. She could have swallowing issues, I mean there are a number of things really.

But children typically have a natural interest in food. If your niece at 1 is still not showing that interest it could be because she associates feeling bad with food, be it that it was a fluke she was ill when she ate and now just assumes food will make her sick OR she actually does not feel good when she eats.

Either way, a lot of possibilities. If I was truly concerned I'd just ask for more details rather than speculate.

keeumm · April 2014

Sorry, here is a little background info about my sister.

My sister is extremely defensive about her life. Without going into too much detail, she has struggled to maintain a job, apartment, and to avoid substance abuse. No, this baby was not planned at all. The family has to help out often, but we always have to be very careful about how we do it, and make sure that we have researched the topic prior to presenting it to her.

My brother and SIL did ask her about details at Easter, and the info I shared is as much as they got. My dad, who is my sister's main go-to support, has been keeping an eye on things, and is worried that this is happening. Dad, bro, SIL, and I are all investigating how to help my sister now, and plan on regrouping this weekend to make our plan of attach.

Basically we want what is best for the baby, and we are willing to do the legwork to help her.

LoveIsAll25 · April 2014

keeumm said: Sorry, here is a little background info about my sister.
My sister is extremely defensive about her life. Without going into too much detail, she has struggled to maintain a job, apartment, and to avoid substance abuse. No, this baby was not planned at all. The family has to help out often, but we always have to be very careful about how we do it, and make sure that we have researched the topic prior to presenting it to her.
My brother and SIL did ask her about details at Easter, and the info I shared is as much as they got. My dad, who is my sister's main go-to support, has been keeping an eye on things, and is worried that this is happening. Dad, bro, SIL, and I are all investigating how to help my sister now, and plan on regrouping this weekend to make our plan of attach.
Basically we want what is best for the baby, and we are willing to do the legwork to help her. If that's the case, when you speak with her, make sure she does not feel like you are attacking her parenting skills. Maybe say a "friends" baby had a similar problem and the specialist found insert any of the aforementioned problems.

Good luck!

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