How often are/were you at the NICU?

aforst · April 2014

A little background: My water broke at 32+3 and I was on hospital bedrest until 33+5 when I went into labor. She was born 4/11.

My DD is doing really well. She was 4# 2oz at birth but has needed no help breathing. We are just waiting on her to fatten up and show interest in eating.

I am at the NICU from 9-5/5:30 M-F and try to be there most of the day on the weekends too. I have two other children at home, so it's hard to know how to split my time. DS1 is in Kindergarten during the day and DS2 goes to daycare. I was thinking today how much harder this would be if I were a SAHM and DS2 was at home w me.

I'm just wondering how much time others were spending there.

KTZ17 · April 2014

I was there from about 11am to 7:30pm m-f and on the weekends a little less because DH and I did stuff together to prepare for her, and he needed to rest since he was leaving the house at 6:30 and going straight to the hospital after school and getting home at 8:00. I think it's awesome you're spending so much time with her. It must be so hard splitting your time between your boys and the NICU. I hope your daughter gets the hang of her feeds ASAP so you can all be together for good!

ziggy903 · April 2014

I was there from about 9:30-6:30 every day.
I think the fact that you have other kids changes everything. There is no way I could have spent that much time in the NICU if I had other kids.

aforst · April 2014

It's easy during the day during the week bc they are at school anyways. The weekends are harder. This past weekend was our first with me home and her there. I think I will need to spend more time at home with the boys on the weekends. It's hard, I feel guilty no matter where I am.

Missi576 · April 2014

I was / am in a bit more unique situation than most. The NICU day shift had a hard time understanding why I wasn't there during the day. My husband and I would go up each night from around 10 p to around 2 am.

We have two older daughters who are virtually schooled and he kept working. Due to that, I would spend all day with the older girls schooling, spend a few hours as a family at night, and once they went to bed, we would leave for the hospital. It was hard to only be there 3 or 4 hours a day, but I couldn't deprioritize the older girls for three and a half months either. Having older children and twins in the NICU was the most heart wrenching time I've ever had.

Still going through it though, because despite Olivia being home, Alexandria is still in the NICU and now we can't even go together.

Xath · April 2014

I'm currently living here. Since I had a cesarean, I can't drive yet, so my H is at home with DS1 while I stay here with DS2. When DS1 is at daycare, my H comes to the hospital to spend time with us. Today we went out to lunch, and then he brought DS1 to visit tonight and we went out to dinner together. They dropped me back off at the hospital before heading home. It's difficult to be away from DS1 this long, but we FaceTime every night and he reads his little brother a story. If DS2 is still in the NICU once I can drive again (and my H goes back to work) we'll probably adjust our schedule and alternate who's at home and who's at the hospital.

We're very very fortunate that our NICU has private rooms for each baby and allows the parents to have 24 hour access. In the regular NICU there was a chair that pulled out into a sort-of bed. Here in step-down, there's a twin bed in each room.

ashleymarie512 · April 2014

The first few weeks after I was released we went around 12p-7/8p. I couldn't drive, so I had to wait for DH to come home and we'd go together. At that time, LO had to share a room, so it was always crowded and staying there wasn't really a viable option, unless I wanted to live in an armchair crammed into the room.

After I was able to drive, I went back to work to save my FMLA. I work about five blocks from the hospital, so most days id work 7-3:30 and meet DH there, who would get there anywhere from 2-3. Some days, if LO had a procedure or consult, my boss let me work from LOs room. I'd just bring my laptop and use hospital wifi. Once she started bottle feeding, I'd get there in time for her afternoon feeding. We'd usually only stay until 6ish bc it was such a long day.

Mustardseed2007 · April 2014

My dd was born at 35 weeks and spent 2.5 weeks in the nicu. I was on pelvic rest beginning at 20 weeks, bed rest starting at 24 weeks and hospital bed rest beginning at 31 weeks. I have a 2 year old and it was terrible being away from him for a month and not being able to pick him up for basically 4 months... Ds goes to daycare from 8 to 5 normally since we both work so I was at the nicu from 9am to 4pm each day. On weekends my h and I usually went up for 2 feedings so usually about 5 hours. We tried to make that in the evening while ds was asleep but I remember one day that didn't work out. We weren't in for as long as many people but I really wanted to try to get ds back to as normal a schedule as possible while still maximizing my time for dd. Thank God for great day care workers and nicu nurses.

Pips09 · April 2014

I had a c-section, and a really rough recovery, so I couldn't drive for over 3 weeks. I was relying on friends and family to drive me there every day, so I'd go in whatever time my ride could take me. It was usually around lunch time, and my H would come by after work to visit and pick me up. On the weekends we would go in together for a few hours. Once I could drive myself, I pretty much stuck to this schedule, as I was working from home in the mornings to try and save my leave for after she was discharged.

ETA: I didn't have other kids at home, and this would definitely impact how much time I would spend there.

dragossoul84 · April 2014

I wish I could be there more, I am there 10-4 every other day. My son is in the Hopkins NICU which is 1-2 hours depending on traffic and we have a 21 month old at home that is not allowed on the floor. I feel like the worst Mom ever my son at home is having an issue with me being gone and when I'm at home I worry about my son in the NICU but he is transfered back to the local NICU tomorrow so we are really excited

SarahA918 · April 2014

DS is my only baby so I was easier than what you're going through. Right after my c-section, I got a ride to the hospital from a friend on her way to work at 8am and I stayed until around 9 because family would come visit in the evening and stay for a whole and then they'd bring me home. I went back to work after two and a half weeks to save my FMLA time, because they thought he would be discharged within eight weeks. So I'd go from about 3 after work until maybe 9.. whenever he was asleep for the night. Well, three months later, he still wasn't ready to go home anytime soon, so I worked half days, getting out at 12:30. I'd go right there and then stay until he was asleep. Weekends I'd usually get there in the afternoon and stay until the same time. The two NICUs he was in did not have private rooms or places to sleep unless the baby was brand new or really really sick. I was lucky enough to stay during a couple of snow storms though!

xladybassx · April 2014

For the first few weeks we were there together for 3-4 hours in the late morning/early afternoon, and then DH would go back on his own after I went to bed for another hour or so. At this time our NICU was at capacity and it was extremely crowded so often there would literally be no place to sit and we would have to just stand smushed in the corner near one of the girls' beds. They had at least 20 nurses, and 4 RT's on the floor at all times, plus the social workers, neonatologists (and their trail of interns), plus other parents. Our girls were in the highest intensive care section too, which had the most staff so it was super crowded. Sleeping there was out of the question, and finding a place to just sit and rest meant leaving the NICU and going to a regular hospital waiting room. At that time we also couldn't really hold the girls yet (I think they each came out 2-3 times in the first 2 weeks). I was still recovering from my c-section and I had developed mastitis so being there was exhausting. It was tough not to be there for very long each day, but since that's just what ended up working for us. After a few weeks we started going for 6-7 hours a day, and then when I could drive and DH had to go back to work I would go for 8 hours or so on my own and he would meet me there later for another couple of hours. At that point the girls had been moved to a less intense section of the nursery so it was much less overwhelming!

Allibob · April 2014

I have a 2yo at home who's not in daycare, so I try to split my time between the two. I usually get up and have breakfast with my daughter, then go in for about 4 hours. I try to get home around the time she gets up from her nap so I can spend the afternoon with her. My husband comes home from work and has dinner with us, then goes in for 2-3 hours after DD goes to bed. On the weekends, we go in together around 10am and come home around 4pm. I understand feeling like you're never in the right place and the guilt. I wish I could spend more time with both, but I'm doing my best to spend some quality time with each of them.

juliane2004 · April 2014

Congrats on your baby! Sorry, I'm late to reply.

You are doing so great! When we had our babies in the NICU (specifically our 6m old was there for 27days), we only got to spend about 1 hour a day max. We have three other kids aged 4 and under and no one was in full time school or daycare, so that's what we could do.

thishappyhouse · April 2014

Having children at home is a total game changer. My DD was my only and generally I was there everyday from 11-4 and 7-10pm or 2-8ish. I went back to work about 75 days into my DDs 124 day stay and then only went from 6-11pm. Rounds were from 8-11am and we had an open pod room so parents were only alowed in the room for rounds on their child. It made the schedule a little more complicated.

rcnavywife · April 2014

Congrats on your DD's arrival! Hope her NICU stay is short!

We have an older DS at home, so when our trio arrived it definitely complicated things. Luckily we had our moms helping with DS1 so we were free to go to the NICU whenever. For the first while we would go from 2-8pm or so. That gave us the morning with DS1. Once we were starting breastfeeding, we shifted our time a bit to accommodate more feeds. It was really hard dividing our time and we very much looked forward to the babies coming home so we wouldn't have to choose between our children. Always felt guilt, no matter how we divided our time.

Bluebird2318 · April 2014

I was there every day, but the time I spent varied. Early on because I had a c-section I could only go when DH was able to take me. Later on when I could drive myself I would stay for a number of hours in the afternoon/into the evening. The last 2-3 days that she was in NICU I didn't go home at all! I seriously just slept on a recliner at her bedside.

Tylynngrace · April 2014

On most days I was there from 11am-5pm then went back with DH at 8pm-11pm. DH was on overnights for most of the nicu stay so it was mostly just me being there with A. Our schedule changed drastically when DH went to middle shift. MH hardly made it there during the last two weeks but I practically lived there to try to help A eat from a bottle.

PurpleIris30 · April 2014

I do not have other children and our NICU was not local so I couldn't go home. After I was discharged and my husband returned to work, I stayed in their room 24 hours a day monday- friday. My husband would come Friday night after work and leave Monday morning, so when he was there on weekends, we would arrive in time for 9:00am rounds and usually leave at 8:00pm, and we spent Friday-Sunday nights in hospital apartment housing.

You just do the best you can with your individual circumstances. Sounds like you are doing a great job having to split your time.

CopperPoppy · April 2014

I live a couple miles from our hospital. I am usually here sometime in the morning 9am-1pm then take a break. I go home and eat and clean/organize the nursery. Then DH and I go back after he's off work. 6pm-9pm.

He's our first so we don't have to juggle other kids. I had a section but my doctor didn't say how long I couldn't drive for so I've been driving since 9 days after surgery. Don't ask don't tell. It would have been really hard if I couldn't drive or was in a lot of pain. I had the best surgery recovery I could have imagined and so thankful for that.

Stodre · May 2014

I have not yet had my baby -- am currently on hospital bed rest. My water broke at 29.3 and today I am 30.3.
Wondering what the NICU situation will be like is one thing that is constantly on my mind .. How will she do, how long will she be there and how much time will I be able to spend there?
My family is just like yours - 2 boys at home ages 3 and 5. One is in preschool and then daycare and the other is in daycare. Our plan right now is to have the boys in daycare everyday (while the oldest isn't at school) and then for me to be home in the evening with them. Haven't thought about weekends yet!! Luckily we have a great support system so I know I have people to help .. It's just trying to make sure my boys understand. My mom doesn't work during the summer so she has offered to take my boys everyday so they don't have to be in daycare ... Which will help to lessen illness exposure.

diagonalley · May 2014

I am fortunate that right now DS is my only child. I am usually there from 8 am until 9-10 pm. My SIL lives a few blocks from the hospital so we have been staying with her. Also DS is nursing like a champ, so I like to be there for as many feedings as possible. I do run out here and there for either food or to run some errands so that we have what we need to take him home (which we will hopefully do this week!) Best of luck to you. I can't imagine having to split your time between 2!

luvboston · May 2014

730-8am to 6 or 7pm then sometimes back 11-12am

LilFelixsMama · May 2014

I have been going every day, and I hope I can continue that. I love it that everyone has a different story, and that it's all OK because that's just life. Some of my NICU neighbors are there ALL the time, some babies never seem to have visitors. I know they all have reasons for why they're doing what they're doing.
Myself, I don't want to miss a single day. I wouldn't have missed a day if I had stayed pregnant, and so I don't plan to miss a day now that he's born. But also I took really good care of myself when I was pregnant, and I'm going to continue to do that now that he's born. So I have to get out of the NICU too, because it stresses me out. I rest, keep up with friends - do the things that make me feel better.
But OH I'm jealous of the private rooms! That would be amazing.

conradtn · May 2014

Our NICU would "close" for shift changes. So I was only there 8am-1pm / 8pm-10pm. I wasn't driving at the time, and DH would go from 5-6:30pm after work.

No private rooms, just one wide open space with a large Nurse's station in the middle.

maribelleNS · May 2014

We live about an hour away from the children's hospital. There aren't private rooms for each child however we were fortunate to be able to stay in a room in Ronald McDonald House family suites right in the hospital for a few nights and then were assigned a parent room in the NICU. Our twins are our only children so when they were in NICU we were fortunate to be able to spend most of our time with them. We have dogs at home that needed cared for so I stayed at the hospital 24/7 while hubby would go back and forth to look after the dogs. My father in law looked after the dogs for us on occasion as well so hubby could spend more time at the hospital.

our girls were born at 33 weeks exactly (after I was hospitalized at 30+5 due to pre-eclampsia) and our NICU stay was a short 17 days.

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