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I hope this is a phase....

MommaHen1984MommaHen1984 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Lately, when my son gets frustrated or irritated, he hits or bites. He's been biting kids at his daycare. Normally he's a very easy going, happy kid. He never just goes up and randomly bites, its usually after a kid pushes him or takes his toy or he's provoked. And he doesn't bite at home. But he DOES hit at home. If he does something he isn't supposed to and I tell him not to, or he doesn't get his way with something, he tries smacking me in the face. I have done time outs, talked to him, scolded him, redirection.  I mean, I know he doesnt know how to express his feelings yet so this is a way of letting it out, but he's starting to do this in public too if you tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Not really sure what to do and I am hoping this is a phase?? I want my sweet little boy back :(
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Re: I hope this is a phase....

  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    Nicb13 said:

    There are quite a few threads similar to this or at least about "discipline" for behaviors like this. I'm not sure if it's a phase exactly because most toddlers do it and parents have to do something about it so their LO learns that it's unacceptable to be violent.

    When DS was younger I would demonstrate gentle touching, tell him "no hitting", "be nice", over and over and over again until he got to an age where he started doing exactly what you are describing.

    We implemented time out's for every single time DS would hit, regardless of why he's doing it. I wouldn't raise my voice or make a big deal out of it because that is giving him attention. I realize that toddlers will hit out of frustration or anger because they can't express themselves just yet but hitting is absolutely not ok IMO so we dealt with it.

    Time out's have worked wonders for us. We did it a lot in the beginning and would have to put him back when he got up, but DS figured out what he was doing wrong and that he shouldn't be doing it. Now he doesn't hit at all.

    I personally feel that if you address the hitting/biting calmly and without giving too much attention and address it EVERY single time, your LO will figure it out and stop. For the most part.

    What she said. 
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  • LSU628LSU628 member
    What's working (sort of) in our house right now is A. trying to avoid situations where I know DS will bite (DD taking something from him or trying to hold his hand to guide him places, or when they are wrestling/playing on the floor) or B. if I catch him about to bite I do a loud AH AH AH and tell him to be sweet. Normally if I can startle him before he does the biting he will replace the bite with a hug or kiss. It doesn't always work (poor DD gets the brunt of it, but to be fair she also provokes him the most), but at least it is getting better. I imagine it's much harder in a daycare setting where there are more adults than kids.
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  • meglette417meglette417 member
    Personally DS does this all the time, we do timeouts and try to ignore but it doesn't work.  When he gets frustrated he just finds something to throw or hit.  Honestly we have been dealing with it for months.  TO's work for us with plenty of things but not this.  I am also thinking it is his way of dealing with frustration and he just doesn't know what else to do.  I have suggested other less aggressive things but with no avail.  Othewise he is a lovable little boy who loves to give hugs and kisses.  Wish I had better suggestions for you.
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