NBOTBR: Funk

Wine&Cupcakes · April 2014

I am officially in a funk.

I've been putting myself through school (20+ credits/semester) and working 50-70 weeks for a year. School is almost over but we're trying to save for a house/move, etc. all the while planning for a baby. When my metabolic issues and impending dietary restrictions are added in, it's a bit overwhelming.

The main issue is that I HATE HATE HATE my job. I work nights in home health and it's killing me. It's so under-stimulating and working nights has taken its toll after several years. The nursing market is so poor here that I feel like getting a job will be a long shot and I'm stuck. I hate feeling stuck. Now I feel like I need a huge change, and this also has me second-guessing our baby plans and wondering if we should wait another year to TTC and start around my 32nd birthday versus my 31st.

I'm trying to evaluate whether this sudden change is because I'm getting cold feet now that we are so close to TTC, or because I'm just so frustrated with things right now (mainly it's a job issue). But it also got me thinking about the future...I've never been someone who has thought they absolutely needed to have babies, and when I reflect on my only joy in life right now (weekend freedoms, trips and time with DH), I'm maybe getting a bit nervous about how all of that will change if a baby is added into the mix. Then again, if I were happier Monday-Friday, that might just be the ticket.

I've only been feeling like this for a few days and I have my period so maybe I'm just a hormonal bitch right now. I felt like comments and suggestions from internet strangers may help me put things into better perspective or help me to evaluate this further :-)

Ugh, stuck.

bumpuser794640 · April 2014

I've been there before. I would suggest always keeping an eye on job boards so you have the opportunity to apply to anything that might strike your fancy. Being in a job you hate is the #1 way to hate life, I'm pretty sure.

As for TTC, I don't have any advice. Once I decided I wanted kids, I knew I wanted them ASAP. Obviously that didn't work out, but I never doubted my choice to have kids. Yes, things are different now than they were, but life is still great.

Maybe it would help to focus on buying a house and spending some time not in school. After a few months you can decide if TTC now is what you want, or if you still want to wait.

PuppyLove84 · April 2014

I really think that being satisfied in your job, or at least not miserable, is really important for mental health! If you can hang in there until school is done, that might open some more doors for you, and you might have a better chance of getting a more tolerable job, even if you have to think about moving somewhere (if that's an option for you). Not sure where you are, but the nursing market is pretty hot in a lot of areas around the country. It might be worth looking into moving if you could get a more fulfilling job!

Also, it kind of sounds like your "only joy in life" is basically everything outside of work... so a child might fit into that just fine. Not that you should rush into anything, but I would think that a child would bring you joy, too, if you wanted one. And I don't see why you'd necessarily need to push back TTC for a year... you could just give it a few more months and see how things go!

NBOTBR: Funk

DX (me): Inborn error of metabolism - protein restriction, metabolic formula & weekly blood tests

DNA Results (7/1): DH is NOT a carrier for my genetic disorder!

7/3: Metabolic clinic gave the green light to TTC - holy crap!

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