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What to do while waiting?

alishakayalishakay member
in Adoption
While we've been matched with a birthmother, she's not due for another 16 weeks, and as confident I am in her adoption decision, I can't help but get overwhelmed with "what if". I guess it's a part of the emotional roller coaster, but I wish the anxiety would go away. I physically had a panic attack about it last night. I feel selfish about my feelings, knowing I can't imagine what the birthmother is feeling. Any advice on keeping positive, and enjoying this exciting time on my end?
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Re: What to do while waiting?

  • WannaBmommaWannaBmomma member
    I am going through the same thing. I just take it one day at a time and hope and pray for the best.  The next 14 weeks will take forever!
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  • justjinnyjustjinny member
    We had about a month's notice between our match and BM's EDD.  She ended up going almost 2 weeks over her due date - that felt like the the loooongest time to wait ever!  We had some drama thrown in at the last minute about the BF's decision too.  It was a rough time but so worth it in the end.

    Buy some baby basics, keep things in the packages and keep the receipts if you are worried about the match falling through.  Keep in mind that you WILL have a baby in your home through adoption one day.

    Talk to & select a pediatrician and have their number ready for when the baby comes.  You can call them from the hospital then to set up a first appointment or ask for their opinion if medical questions come up that you want their advice on.

    Let yourself feel however you do from day to day and don't be self conscious about it. DH and I tried to talk nightly about what we were feeling and that helped me get some sleep when I was full of anxiety.

    I also tried to remind myself to feel and act in whatever way would make me look back at that time without any regrets.  It helped me enjoy the wait during the match when I told myself that I wanted to remember that time as being exciting and happy, not just stressful and anxious.

    Good luck and congrats on the match!

    TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's
    1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
    10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed  5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
    3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
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  • plus12012plus12012 member
    Enjoy every little minute of sleep and relaxation you can and spend some truly quality time with your significant other. This will be the last time you get to enjoy those things in the same way you have been. I know it's tough to not focus on the arrival of your little one at all times but it is pretty important to take some me and us time. If there are any places you wanted to go on a mini vacation it's the perfect opportunity to do that as well.
    I would also recommend trying to find a pediatrician in your area if you haven't done that already. I had no idea how different pediatrician offices could be until I started looking for one.

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