Need to snap out of it (body issues)

rcm201408 · April 2014

So, frequently over the last 8 weeks I've gotten really down on myself over how I look. At first I just looked fat, not pregnant. Now I'm starting to look pregnant, but my thighs look fat or my belly doesn't look like a bump, but like a beer gut.. and I'm just not feeling that confident lately.. Some days I'll put on just the right outfit and I'll feel great! Another day, I'll wear the same outfit and HATE how fat I look in the mirror...

Literally, I just spent roughly 1-2 hours researching healthy lunch & snack options.. This has to stop. Realistically, I don't even eat that badly! I snack on things like hummus & carrots or strawberries and blueberries. I eat super healthy all the time because I have for so long before pregnancy when watching my weight (yes, in case you couldn't assume beforehand I've had weight issues FOREVER).

Idk what to do to snap out of this.. How do I embrace my pregnant body? Has anyone else overcome these issues? Any advice? I have GOT to get passed this one.. Seriously, I'm starting to get super tired of it. It's not a good look.

PS: Not trying to be an AW, just need to get this off my chest and hopefully get some advice to point me in the right direction.

EDITED: Grammar

jamjoyful · April 2014

DH is exhausted with me worrying about it. But I finally got him to agree to changing up our diets and getting rid of any junk food in our house. We don't need it and I'm always tempted by the Reese's eggs sitting in my cabinet. Overall, I haven't gained a horrible amount of weight but it feels like a lot on my frame.

I definitely find that if I get ready and put on a cute outfit I feel much better about myself!

Daisylola11 · April 2014

I feel ya!! I've had days where I feel awful and others where I seem to embrace my changing body more. The only thing that's helped me is realizing that I need to learn to let go of being in control of what my body is doing right now and keep eating healthy and being active.

Since the beginning of my pregnancy I knew there would be changes but naive FTM me thought I could fight it all (constipation, bloating, acne, morning sickness, and now weight gain/body changes). Your body is doing what it needs to do to grow a LO and it's better to ride the wave than to fight it. Plus this is only for a little bit longer!!! Try to love the experience because sadly, your body will be forever changed, lots of luck and hope you feel better

mamabear214 · April 2014

If it makes you feel even slightly better about it my midwife explained to me that you carry estrogen in your thighs and hips and since you have excess of it when you are pregnant you tend to carry it around in your lower half. I didn't bother to verify her info but it kind of made sense the way she explained it.

That being said, I know exactly how you feel. I spent close to a year losing 65 pounds before we left the military and I gained about 30 back from stress/stress eating. Add my 15 pound weight gain at this point in the pregnancy and I have to force myself to eat sometimes because I get so anxious about gaining any more weight.

Honestly it took a lot of sweet talking from DH to get me comfortable in my own skin again... now who knows how I will feel in another 10 weeks, but for now I'm just dealing and avoiding the scale.

**ETA: I feel the need to clarify, H was the one in the military. I use the term "we" loosely up there. I gained the weight back from being stressed about the changes we were dealing with.**

Jenrileysmom · April 2014

I was disgusted when I saw some of the pics of myself from Easter. I thought I liked the outfit I was wearing but I'll never wear it again. I look extremely wide from the front angle. Ugh.

rcm201408 · April 2014

Daisylola11 said:

I feel ya!! I've had days where I feel awful and others where I seem to embrace my changing body more. The only thing that's helped me is realizing that I need to learn to let go of being in control of what my body is doing right now and keep eating healthy and being active.

Since the beginning of my pregnancy I knew there would be changes but naive FTM me thought I could fight it all (constipation, bloating, acne, morning sickness, and now weight gain/body changes). Your body is doing what it needs to do to grow a LO and it's better to ride the wave than to fight it. Plus this is only for a little bit longer!!! Try to love the experience because sadly, your body will be forever changed, lots of luck and hope you feel better

This! I have major control issues, and I really needed to read this.. As long as I'm eating healthy and at least walking around a bit - I'm good.

Now if I can just get myself to believe it.. Everyday, LOL

rcm201408 · April 2014

mamabear214 said:

If it makes you feel even slightly better about it my midwife explained to me that you carry estrogen in your thighs and hips and since you have excess of it when you are pregnant you tend to carry it around in your lower half. I didn't bother to verify her info but it kind of made sense the way she explained it.

This is fascinating!! Whether accurate or not, I'll take it

I should also start avoiding the scale. Thats a great idea!! The doctor should tell me if theres an issue... So, I should really stop obsessing over it

Thanks to everyone for the great suggestions and (sadly) for sharing in my misery.. Although we're all sort of uncomfortable with how we look, it's comforting to know that we're not alone. And sharing what makes us happy from time to time is helpful advice

con07s · April 2014

I feel ya... I'm 22 weeks, still think I just look like I've gained weight. I had a break down when I was trying to find clothes to wear. I would rather wear tight shirts now because then my stomach looks more pregnant but if I'm in maternity or loose clothing I just look like I've got a beer belly... I feel like I've got the "frumpy" look going on and feel down when I see other mommas with cute bumps. So anyways, you aren't the only one feeling like this!!!

kiley820 · April 2014

I wish I had some good advice but all I can say is I understand! It's true that the right outfit can make all the difference though. I was always the same way, with loving an outfit one day and hating how it looked the next, pregnant or not. I finally invested in some maternity clothes this past weekend and feel so much better. Even though I could still fit into my "regular"clothes, its just not the same. I didnt believe it until I tried it

Honestly, I've been really lucky so far as my pregnancy has been pretty easy. I felt great and really didn't start showing until a couple of weeks ago. Everyone keeps saying how I still don't really look pregnant and I'm not that big (I think they're lying!) Regardless, it's about how I feel and right now that's just....large. It's been a struggle seeing my body change and as much as I have loved being pregnant up until this point...there are days lately that I feel so gross and uncomfortable I just want to be done. Too bad it doesn't work that way

Just do the best you can to make healthy choices and keep reminding yourself it's all for a good cause. Soon we will all have precious little babies and none of this will matter anymore ...hang in there!

ljraff29 · April 2014

No advice, but my H is tired of me complaining that I'm getting 'fat.' Even though I know that's not the case. It's hard to rationalize the numbers on the scale and the constantly growing proportions. Just try to keep the mindset that if your doctor isn't worried, you shouldn't be either. Gaining weight = a healthy baby.

RunningJ · April 2014

I understand how you're feeling. I always thought when I got pregnant I'd just magically be okay with weight gain because I'd be pregnant...but it's a lot more complex than that. I've found that working out provides me a lot of release- the endorphins actually make me feel better about myself and feel strong as opposed to just huge. I also try to make a lot of healthy choices in my food, and like PP's said- focus on what I can control. I also only weigh myself at my Dr appointments, it's enough for me to be aware if I'm gaining too fast or too slow- but allows me to avoid being obsessive about it.

courtniko · April 2014

I have no advice, I just completely understand how you feel. I have gained a lot of weigh at this point (like over 30 lbs), and I know that so much of it is just me gaining weight, not the baby. For a few years before being pregnant I was steadily losing weight and finally feeling good in my clothes, now I feel like I just lost all of that. My legs have gotten so big and my thighs are now rubbing together again.

There was a new girl at my gym the other day, and when she asked me about something I mentioned being pregnant, and her response was something like, "oh my gosh, I would have never guessed that you were pregnant" (25 weeks pregnant, in form fitting workout clothes). All I can think in response to that is that I have just filled out so much everywhere with all my weight gain that I just look gross and frumpy. Ugh.

courtniko · April 2014

mamabear214 said:

If it makes you feel even slightly better about it my midwife explained to me that you carry estrogen in your thighs and hips and since you have excess of it when you are pregnant you tend to carry it around in your lower half. I didn't bother to verify her info but it kind of made sense the way she explained it.

True or not, I am choosing to believe this, thanks for sharing!

MeganEMcG5 · April 2014

I think it's pretty clear from the responses you've gotten so far that you aren't alone in feeling this way. It's difficult because our bodies have literally been taken over by a little parasite and you're totally entitled to feel uneasy about that. There are things that will happen to our bodies throughout our pregnancies that will be totally beyond our control -- that's one of the scariest and most amazing things about having kids! I agree with what others have said that you should focus on what you can control. I think you also need to be prepared that you may never really "embrace" your body during pregnancy and that doesn't make you a bad person/mother. Just focus on the end goal -- a happy, healthy little one.

Raclla · April 2014

I had serious issues with this my first pregnancy.

After DD was born, I was able to workout and eat better, and I felt better. Pregnancy is A LOT! It isn't just the weight, but it's also the head games we start playing with ourselves.

I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight around 4 months PP. I gained 35 lbs with her, and I worked hard to get it off. I know that I can work hard again, so I don't stress as much this time.

This too shall pass.

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