Parenting

PR Give me some perspective

Sorry, this is long and detailed.

TL;DR version - my pting kid had lots of accidents today, should I postpone potty training?

DS, almost 3, has been showing some signs of potty training readiness for the last couple months. Then other days it seems like it's the opposite. I'm on vacation but home for a week, so we decided to give it a try. I said from the start that if he didn't seem ready, we'd stop.
We've been talking it up, bought big boy underpants, read a book, practicing sitting on the potty. He pooped a tiny bit 1 day, but other than that, nothing.
We started for real today wearing big boy underwear. He totally didn't understand pee at first. Actually told me there was spit up after the 1st accident. There were 4 or 5 accidents and some tears today. But he also peed in the potty 3x. Never b/c he asked to go. Just because I had him sitting there. By the end of the day, he was really quick to tell me there was pee and he needed to change his pants. He was iffy about sitting on the potty today. Sometimes totally cool, other times cried (I didn't force it too hard).
He says he wants to keep his big boy underwear clean and dry.
Especially btdt people, does this sound like a kid that's ready? I feel like he made a lot of progress today, but I don't want to keep pushing this if he's not ready.

Potty training is hard yo! I need all the booze. DH offered to make margaritas after bedtime. I think I'm taking him up on it!

Re: PR Give me some perspective

  • I'm of two big opinions on this:

    Opinion one: It takes about 3 days of SOLID focus on nothing else but the potty and at home to determine if he's going to get it.  If on day three, he's still just like this and not doing better, then he's not ready.  Or if it's only so slightly better that it's causig stress he's not ready.  But my experience with my own and watching others is that by the end of day two or three it has "clicked"  If after that, still nothing, go back to diapers and try again in 3 months.  There's no shame or "failure" in recognizing he's not ready, but give yourself and him time to make a sound judgement on that.

    Opinion two: Potty training is the worst fucking thing ever.  Flat out.  Even when they're ready and it goes well it just is a hard experience.  I got so damn sick of staring at my sons penis.  BUT if you just resign yourself to that and commit, it is very rewarding at the end of it all.

    This is coming from a mom whose son had major poop issues (he decided he was afraid of pooping, common) He was accident free with pee by day three, but pooping took about 6 months of trial and error and mirilax.  Our pediatrician assured us routinely that he was definitely ready to potty train, and we did it right..  This was just a hurdle to overcome.  Now he does great!  Even the most ready kids can have hurdles, it's exhausting, but they get there!  I promise.  

    In the meantime.... drink allllllllllll the margaritas
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  • Thank you! This makes me feel better about sticking with it. He's resistant to change but usually picks things up quickly once he gets over that, so I think this will work.

    I also feel really bad for DS2. This week is going to be all potty training, all the time. Oh well, today it got him extra fruit snacks to keep him busy. I'm sure he'll survive not being the center of attention!
  • I've said this before but PTing can DIAF. Dd could absolutely do it if she wanted to but she pretty much doesn't care. She and her baby brother will be wearing the same size diapers soon.

    But GL to you! Sounds like you're making progress!
    SQUIRREL!!!

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  • We tried potty training this time last year, so he was 26 months, and it did not go well. I had to remind him to go constantly, he didn't give a shit if he peed his pants, refused to poop on the potty at all, and eventually started revenge peeing in time out. It became a huge battle for us, I assume because he got the feeling that *I* wanted him to use the potty and he didn't give two fucks.

    We half-assed it a couple more times this year but finally, 2 weeks ago, he started telling me he had to go. Potty training has been SO EASY this time. He has had a couple accidents if he's busy playing but he's mostly remembering to stay dry and telling me if he needs to go. We're still working on poop, because he tends to poop in his nighttime pull up maybe 25% of the time after we put him to bed.

    Anyway, I would give it another few days and see what happens. If there seems to be improvement, great, push forward. If it's not clicking or you're met with some resistance, than back off and try again when you are both ready. Potty training a kid that wasn't really ready was pure torture but when I waited for him to be ready, it was really just a very pleasant experience for everyone involved.
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