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intro and need some advice

DA682DA682 member
in Working Moms
Hi ladies!
I am new to this board and you seem like my type of people so I wanted to intro! 
I am a new mom to a 6 week old boy- I am also an ER doctor. I am going back to work in about a month- my husband works a regular 9-5 (with lots of flexibility) and we will have a nanny come during the day while he's gone. My hours are very unpredictable and random- comprised of days, evenings, nights, weekends, holidays- theres no rhyme or reason. I could have a random weekday off, work a couple of nights, work on a Sunday, then do a couple of day shifts- you get the idea.

Anyway- I love being home on maternity leave with my baby. The idea of going back to work is giving me a pit in my stomach. Its not that I dont think I can be away from my son for hours at a time (don't get me wrong, I am crazy about him!) , its more that I've enjoyed the freedom of having an open schedule- I can schedule doctors appointments, visits with friends, family, etc without thinking twice. I'm enjoying being able to plan fun meals and cook every day. I'm enjoying being able to take long walks with him, go to the gym when my husband is watching him, etc.  And my job has some negative aspects which I've enjoyed being away from (rough hours, stressful environment, difficult patients)

At the same time, I could never imagine myself to be a stay at home mom- I know I'd be bored and don't like the idea of doing kiddie stuff all day every day.  To be honest I think our nanny (who is very experienced and awesome) will do a better job of doing all of those kiddie things and entertaining my son than I could! I find my job to be very intellectually stimulating, exciting, and a part of who I am, despite the negative aspects.    My job also offers amazing pay and benefits, as well as the flexibility to swap shifts and as mentioned, random time off which I may not get with a traditional 9-5 (though again- working some weekends and holidays is the tradeoff) 

Anyway I guess I just wanted to introduce myself and see if anyone had some advice on what it will be like to go back to work.  Like I said- I am getting a pit in my stomach thinking about it and I know its gonna be hard- but I am hoping that I will enjoy my role as a working mom.

Thanks in advance! 
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Re: intro and need some advice

  • MamaAllisonMamaAllison member
    I think you will be fine! You sound like you have confidence and trust in your nanny, and that is a huge thing. If you ate comfortable with your child care situation then I'm willing to bet your thoughts of your son during your shifts will be more of a "wonder what he is doing now" nature as opposed to worry. I'm a teacher and I tend to really lose myself in my work and before I know it it's time to go pick up my kid, I'm sure being an ER doc will be the same way, if not more!

    As for advice, can your nanny text you pics during the day? That might help. And how far in advance do you get your schedule? Seems like it would have to be at least weekly if not two weeks notice! I'm sure you can still plan some special dinners and play dates. I know with my mommy friends usually I plan only last minute anyway!

    Good luck!
    DD1 - Evelyn Riley - 9/30/11
    DD2 - Charlotte Avery - 1/27/14




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  • DA682DA682 member
    Thank you so much ladies- it feels good to know I'm not alone.  I think mal922 makes a good point that makes me wonder- is it more that I'm unhappy with my job in general? My job has a lot of pros and cons- because I'm specialized there aren't many options for other types of jobs unless I switched into working at an urgent care center (still would have to work evenings and weekends/holidays, just no nights)- otherwise ER is all shift work and irregular hours.  Some moms choose to do nights only so they can maximize family time but I am a zombie after a night shift and would need to sleep all day anyway.  

    The ER usually gives me an invigorated feeling when I'm there- I get to help people, its interesting and the time flies by. I need to focus on the positives and hopefully after transitioning back I will adjust to our new lifestyle! 
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  • dashofrealitydashofreality member

    I will say the first few months back were the roughest for me. But, like everything you get adjusted and it becomes your norm. There were definitely many days during the trying toddler period that I was very glad that I got to go to work! Personally, I am very glad that I am still working, because being a full time stay at home mom just isn't for me.

    I say this though as someone who dropped my FT schedule down to part time. That has helped me immensely, especially because my husband is often gone. I don't know if you could look into that possibility, but even going to 32 hours a week made a huge difference. I would love to see more employers get on board with flex arrangements, I really think they benefit everyone as I am happy taking less pay for this schedule.

    DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
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  • jlaOKjlaOK member
    Welcome! I have a friend who is an ER doc so I know what the schedule is like. He gets to set how many shifts he gets per month, do you get to do the same? If so, maybe you can start out with less shifts then add more if things are going well.

    I think you should also think of the great things about your schedule. You'll get many more days off than the traditional 9-5 and will get to see your baby more during the awake hours and as your LO gets older will be able to do fun day trips: zoo, pool, museums, etc.

    I think the hardest thing will be carving out time with your DH. Since you won't always get to see him make sure you plan plenty of date nights.

    Good luck!!!
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  • molisarmolisar member
    I think the nerves before going back is standard. If I had any advice, I'd say give it a good 3-6 months and re-asses at that time. Is there a possibility to work PT? 

    There is a transition period in terms of getting back into a groove. But I can understand your apprehension with your varying hours. Does your H have any flexibility in taking your LO to appointments, etc.? He just might need to be the one to take care of those scheduled things. 
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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    Hi! I am a Hospitalist and I work various shifts, too. I actually like it because of the flexibility. I usually get my schedule a few months in advance, so I have plenty of time to schedule appointments, travel, etc. my kids are currently in daycare so when I have weekdays off I have the option of sending them if I need to catch up on work, chores, etc.

    In August my son will start kindergarten, and I will get a nanny for DD (2 yo) just for my work days. So I will be like a SAHM when I am off.

    Personally I do not like working nights. I work swing shift once or twice a month. I typically work 1-2 weekends per month and average 13 shifts per month total. I am 0.8 full time equivalent, which still gives me a nice salary but a little easier schedule. I love my job! Give yourself some time to settle in. Good luck!
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • DA682DA682 member
    Thanks everyone, your words mean a lot! Emberlee its nice to meet another doctor too.  Are there other MD's on this board?
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