Working Moms
DA682
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intro and need some advice
DA682
member
in Working Moms
Hi ladies!
I am new to this board and you seem like my type of people so I wanted to intro!
I am a new mom to a 6 week old boy- I am also an ER doctor. I am going back to work in about a month- my husband works a regular 9-5 (with lots of flexibility) and we will have a nanny come during the day while he's gone. My hours are very unpredictable and random- comprised of days, evenings, nights, weekends, holidays- theres no rhyme or reason. I could have a random weekday off, work a couple of nights, work on a Sunday, then do a couple of day shifts- you get the idea.
Anyway- I love being home on maternity leave with my baby. The idea of going back to work is giving me a pit in my stomach. Its not that I dont think I can be away from my son for hours at a time (don't get me wrong, I am crazy about him!) , its more that I've enjoyed the freedom of having an open schedule- I can schedule doctors appointments, visits with friends, family, etc without thinking twice. I'm enjoying being able to plan fun meals and cook every day. I'm enjoying being able to take long walks with him, go to the gym when my husband is watching him, etc. And my job has some negative aspects which I've enjoyed being away from (rough hours, stressful environment, difficult patients)
At the same time, I could never imagine myself to be a stay at home mom- I know I'd be bored and don't like the idea of doing kiddie stuff all day every day. To be honest I think our nanny (who is very experienced and awesome) will do a better job of doing all of those kiddie things and entertaining my son than I could! I find my job to be very intellectually stimulating, exciting, and a part of who I am, despite the negative aspects. My job also offers amazing pay and benefits, as well as the flexibility to swap shifts and as mentioned, random time off which I may not get with a traditional 9-5 (though again- working some weekends and holidays is the tradeoff)
Anyway I guess I just wanted to introduce myself and see if anyone had some advice on what it will be like to go back to work. Like I said- I am getting a pit in my stomach thinking about it and I know its gonna be hard- but I am hoping that I will enjoy my role as a working mom.
Thanks in advance!
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Re: intro and need some advice
As for advice, can your nanny text you pics during the day? That might help. And how far in advance do you get your schedule? Seems like it would have to be at least weekly if not two weeks notice! I'm sure you can still plan some special dinners and play dates. I know with my mommy friends usually I plan only last minute anyway!
Good luck!
I will say the first few months back were the roughest for me. But, like everything you get adjusted and it becomes your norm. There were definitely many days during the trying toddler period that I was very glad that I got to go to work! Personally, I am very glad that I am still working, because being a full time stay at home mom just isn't for me.
I say this though as someone who dropped my FT schedule down to part time. That has helped me immensely, especially because my husband is often gone. I don't know if you could look into that possibility, but even going to 32 hours a week made a huge difference. I would love to see more employers get on board with flex arrangements, I really think they benefit everyone as I am happy taking less pay for this schedule.
I think you should also think of the great things about your schedule. You'll get many more days off than the traditional 9-5 and will get to see your baby more during the awake hours and as your LO gets older will be able to do fun day trips: zoo, pool, museums, etc.
I think the hardest thing will be carving out time with your DH. Since you won't always get to see him make sure you plan plenty of date nights.
Good luck!!!
A Boy's Room
In August my son will start kindergarten, and I will get a nanny for DD (2 yo) just for my work days. So I will be like a SAHM when I am off.
Personally I do not like working nights. I work swing shift once or twice a month. I typically work 1-2 weekends per month and average 13 shifts per month total. I am 0.8 full time equivalent, which still gives me a nice salary but a little easier schedule. I love my job! Give yourself some time to settle in. Good luck!