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Working Moms
jf198400
member
Trying to plan vacation is stressing me out
jf198400
member
in Working Moms
We always go to the Jersey shore for a week every summer. The past few years we have gotten one big house with DH's entire family. This year his parents didn't book a house b/c there's a lot going on and all of us couldn't commit to it. So now DH and I are trying to plan our vaca, but it's complicated b/c were still trying to coordinate with his brother and one of his sisters. We're disagreeing with his sister on which week to go. We are looking into renting a house with his brother, which I think would work well b/c we all get along really great.
But I'm nervous about the trip b/c DH is recovering from knee surgery and I don't know at what point he'll be at with his recovery. I will also be 6months pregnant at the time of the trip. I'm feeling like I might get stuck with a lot of physical work dragging 2 kids and all their crap down to the beach. Part of me just wants to stay at a hotel b/c it's easier.
If we get a hotel room, it will be a much shorter walk to the beach, it will also be closer to all the restaurants and amusements. We wouldn't have to pack nearly as much stuff. With renting a house you have to bring all of your own linens. It would be also be easier to just eat dinner out every night instead of cooking. (I despise cooking on vacation.). But if we stay at a house it might be more relaxing. DH and I could have our own bedroom. We would be able to sit in the living room or on the deck after the kids go to bed. We'd have space to spread out. We'd be able to have adult time with BIL and SIL.
I don't know what to do. It's stressing me out. Planning a vacation is supposed to be fun. I kinda wish his siblings were doing their own thing so we did to have to coordinate with everyone.
But I'm nervous about the trip b/c DH is recovering from knee surgery and I don't know at what point he'll be at with his recovery. I will also be 6months pregnant at the time of the trip. I'm feeling like I might get stuck with a lot of physical work dragging 2 kids and all their crap down to the beach. Part of me just wants to stay at a hotel b/c it's easier.
If we get a hotel room, it will be a much shorter walk to the beach, it will also be closer to all the restaurants and amusements. We wouldn't have to pack nearly as much stuff. With renting a house you have to bring all of your own linens. It would be also be easier to just eat dinner out every night instead of cooking. (I despise cooking on vacation.). But if we stay at a house it might be more relaxing. DH and I could have our own bedroom. We would be able to sit in the living room or on the deck after the kids go to bed. We'd have space to spread out. We'd be able to have adult time with BIL and SIL.
I don't know what to do. It's stressing me out. Planning a vacation is supposed to be fun. I kinda wish his siblings were doing their own thing so we did to have to coordinate with everyone.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Trying to plan vacation is stressing me out
I like the idea of bringing along a babysitter. We're used to being on vaca with the entire family, so I hadn't thought about the fact that we wouldn't be able to go out to dinner without the kids. At least we can swap babysitting with BIL and SIL. But it's worth thinking about.
And honestly, I'd also rather make spaghetti every night or sandwiches than GO OUT every night. I find going out to eat kind of a chore sometimes. One night, fun. every night for a week? Blech.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is usually what we do with DHs whole family, each family only has to cook one night. If we go with BIL and SIL we will definitely split cooking with them, but that's still a lot of cooking for me. It stresses me out b/c the kids want to be at the beach all day, then when we get back I have to bathe them and get myself showered and then have to cook dinner. I'd rather just grab a slice of pizza on the boardwalk.
If we stay in a hotel, we likely won't do an entire week, probably more like 4 nights. So I can deal with eating out for that long. Although DH won't like it. (Easy for the husband to complain who doesn't cook anyways)
I'm fairly convinced that "Vacationing" with small children is ALWAYS more work then staying home. This is just a fact regardless of accommodations, meals, etc.
That said, I would agree hands down, a house would make the experience more bearable then a hotel room.
I would also not want to be committed to HAVING to eat out every single meal while on vacation with my DD. That sounds like torture.
We actually do usually rent a double stroller from a place so we don't have to pack ours. Luckily we don't really need any other baby gear now since my youngest is 2. Planning to have both kids sleep in beds.
There is no beach parking in NJ, at least not in OC. We have to walk down to the beach. That's the biggest part of my hesitation is loading everything up and walking a block and a half with it. With DH on knee recovery and me pregnant. I think I just need to be more minimalistic. We usually take a big beach cabana, blanket, chairs, toys, cooler, etc.
Personally, I hate sharing a room with my kids and would go to great lengths to avoid it.
Otherwise, I would just be completely upfront with your inlaws and let them know you have (legitimate) concerns and that while you normally share cooking etc. if you go you will be to tired to do big dinners so your contribution will be limited to sandwiches, or other super easy meals. Ask if they would be willing to help you schlep crap - why can't they bring the cabana? If they would rather skip then help out a bit more than usual that is fine, but at least the decision was up front instead of hard feelings later.
I would look into one of those beach carts, my SIL got one and it was helpful. I would maybe consider somewhere a little less popular than OC where you could stay beachfront front for the same cost. I would also definitely look around for someone to come with you. I had friends in highschool that would go and babysit for a free vacation - meals and board was all that they were 'paid'.
I know the ILs will help out, but it's still a lot of work. They have 2 kids also, one is a baby, so they have to take care of their own family too. We have always brought the most beach gear on vacation with us b/c we have the biggest car and his siblings have much farther to travel. We do have a beach cart, so one of us pushes that while the other pushes the kids in the stroller.
I'm sure we can make this work, it's just already making me tired thinking about it lol. It doesn't take much for me to feel tired and overwhelmed these days.
I live at the Jersey Shore (Not in OC where you are going but still) Have you actually looked at hotels? I imagine they would be pretty expensive. Also, going out to eat is super expensive. I mean, if you can afford it go for it but I personally like renting a house.
Also, I think it's more fun if you go with family to rent a house. I feel like you can spend more quality time that way rather than in a hotel.
Vacation while recovering from surgery doesn't sound like fun at all
What would you think about just skipping this year and saving toward a nicer vaca next year? Maybe you could put the funds towards hiring a vacation nanny
Also, I agree with PP on the benefits of house rentals. You likely have heard of this site but I've had lots of luck with it over the years: www.vrbo.com
Were already looking at rentals. A house definitely has advantages. I think my biggest concern is just the walking distance. We spend a lot of time walking the boardwalk when we go, so I'm worried about the distance to the attractions.
We usually stay oceanfront or semi-OF because we like the convenience but if that is not an option where you're going I would still pick the house over the hotel.