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Trouble TTC
modernfairytale8709
member
So, my RE turned out to be an A$$hole
modernfairytale8709
member
*~*~ETA: I'm sorry this turned into a blog!*~*~
Can I start out by saying I was really, really excited for my first RE appointment? I walked into that office ready, confident, and willing to attack my probable PCOS diagnosis head-on.
I have insulin-resistant PCOS. I am very overweight because of this, but I have lost 26 pounds since the beginning of January, and I am still losing. I know that I need to lose 100+ pounds, and am well on my journey to get there. I do not have a negative body image. I am beautiful, and I am healing my insulin resistance in the most healthy way possible--eating sensibly (modified Atkins to include almost exclusively real-foods) and moderate exercise. I am proud of how far I've come, and well aware I have a journey ahead of me.
Ok, all that plays into how horribly my RE appointment turned out.
The first clue that this appointment wasn't going to be what I hoped happened in the waiting room. I was sitting there, and a woman walked in and asked the nurser if this was the OBGYN floor. The nurse looked at her snootily and replied that it was the GYN floor. The woman looked more confused. The nurse rolled her eyes and asked "Well, are you pregnant? Because if you are you need to go upstairs" The woman promptly burst into tears and turned and fled. She was back 5 minutes later with her husband, who was parking they car because they were here to get their first SA done. That nurse has no business working in an infertility office.
I should have run at that point.
My RE is the premier RE in the area. I was excited to get on his schedule. That all flew out he window the minute after I walked into his office.
His first statement to me was that I needed to consider gastric bypass surgery, and he would make a referral. I sat there in stunned silence. He then began to ask me about my medical history, and I went through everything with him, but he never actually listened to my answers. He was to intent on talking to the adorable medical student who was shadowing him that day.
This went on for 45 minutes, with me telling him about my long cycles, delayed ovulation(he insisted I couldn't know when or if I ovulated and raised his eyebrows at my insistence that I have been BBT since December 2012)
He did not listen to anything I had to say. All he wanted to talk about was gastric bypass, doing a "fatty" liver biopsy(because I had a very slightly elevated liver number, less than .5 above the high value on the scale) and placing me on high-dosage metformin to deal with my IR.
I had anticipated the metformin, but actually wanted to hold off on it, because I've head of the nasty side affects. I really felt like I was on the right track with my low-carb, high-protein diet and increased activity.
Add to all this that he was incredibly rough and had zero bedside manner when he did my physical exam, and it turned into the appointment from hell.
I made it the whole way home and burst into tears the moment my husband asked me how it went. Like, crying, hysterical tears. I'm not a crier.
I will not be going back to that office.
Can I start out by saying I was really, really excited for my first RE appointment? I walked into that office ready, confident, and willing to attack my probable PCOS diagnosis head-on.
I have insulin-resistant PCOS. I am very overweight because of this, but I have lost 26 pounds since the beginning of January, and I am still losing. I know that I need to lose 100+ pounds, and am well on my journey to get there. I do not have a negative body image. I am beautiful, and I am healing my insulin resistance in the most healthy way possible--eating sensibly (modified Atkins to include almost exclusively real-foods) and moderate exercise. I am proud of how far I've come, and well aware I have a journey ahead of me.
Ok, all that plays into how horribly my RE appointment turned out.
The first clue that this appointment wasn't going to be what I hoped happened in the waiting room. I was sitting there, and a woman walked in and asked the nurser if this was the OBGYN floor. The nurse looked at her snootily and replied that it was the GYN floor. The woman looked more confused. The nurse rolled her eyes and asked "Well, are you pregnant? Because if you are you need to go upstairs" The woman promptly burst into tears and turned and fled. She was back 5 minutes later with her husband, who was parking they car because they were here to get their first SA done. That nurse has no business working in an infertility office.
I should have run at that point.
My RE is the premier RE in the area. I was excited to get on his schedule. That all flew out he window the minute after I walked into his office.
His first statement to me was that I needed to consider gastric bypass surgery, and he would make a referral. I sat there in stunned silence. He then began to ask me about my medical history, and I went through everything with him, but he never actually listened to my answers. He was to intent on talking to the adorable medical student who was shadowing him that day.
This went on for 45 minutes, with me telling him about my long cycles, delayed ovulation(he insisted I couldn't know when or if I ovulated and raised his eyebrows at my insistence that I have been BBT since December 2012)
He did not listen to anything I had to say. All he wanted to talk about was gastric bypass, doing a "fatty" liver biopsy(because I had a very slightly elevated liver number, less than .5 above the high value on the scale) and placing me on high-dosage metformin to deal with my IR.
I had anticipated the metformin, but actually wanted to hold off on it, because I've head of the nasty side affects. I really felt like I was on the right track with my low-carb, high-protein diet and increased activity.
Add to all this that he was incredibly rough and had zero bedside manner when he did my physical exam, and it turned into the appointment from hell.
I made it the whole way home and burst into tears the moment my husband asked me how it went. Like, crying, hysterical tears. I'm not a crier.
I will not be going back to that office.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So, my RE turned out to be an A$$hole
Me: 30 DW (aka C): 29
Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12
***CP mentioned***
We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm. 8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy. We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET. I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013.
11/14/14 - Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good.
12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2
12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)
1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2
****All Welcome!****
We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.
TTC since May 2012
HSG- all clear
March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm
12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles
RE appointment & testing December 2013 - February 2014= Unexplained IF, possible endometriosis
IUI#1- March 22 (100mg clomid, 75 mg of Bravelle, Ovidrel trigger) = BFP!!!
I agree with @NariaDreaming def go get your liver checked out. I'm also floored about the gastric bypass comment and him pushing it. My husband works with a lot of surgeons that use to do them all the time, but they don't recommend them anymore because of the dangers, seriously this guy needs to stick with advice on what he knows about.
Congratulations on the weight loss so far!
Thank you all for your incredible support.
@nariaDreaming I actually plan to discuss the liver numbers with my GP, but she's the one who originally read the test results, and she made no mention of being concerned about the numbers. But, just to be safe, I'll follow with her to see if she recommends anything.
At most, I'd think she would recommend a repeat blood test, to see if it's a pattern, and not jump straight to a biopsy.
****Loss in Sig****
3T Sig Challenge: New Year's Resolutions
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
March 2014 - HSG left tube blocked, right tube partially blocked bilaterial partial obstruction; onward to the RE in April
May 1, 2014 - Lap surgery and chromopertubation; Dr removed a bit of endo, but everything looks healthy & tubes are clear!
May 2014- First medicated cycle, 2.5mg femara+TI; BFN
June 2014- 2.5mg femara + hCG + IUI on 6/18= BFP on 6/28!; C/P on 7/3
July 2014- 2.5mg femara + IUI #2 on 7/18. Starting progesterone 7/23, bfn
August 2014- 2.5mg femara + hCG + IUI # 3 on 8/15. BFN
Tx break
IVF #1 -
12/1 - TOT & SIS- RE found a polyp
12/15 - Hysterscopic surgery to remove the polyp; additional polyps found and removed
12/29- Good baseline u/s, 12 antral follies
12/30- Started stimming
1/10 - ER: 17 retrieved, 14 fertilized!
My Ovulation Chart - No data, just meds
Anyway, it sounds like you're doing a great job of losing weight on your own. Congratulations! I know that's not easy. Gastric bypass should only be recommended in extreme cases and I don't think you fit that category. I'm also impressed by your body image. That's great!
Do get your liver checked out though, honey. Any issues could effect a pregnancy or your general health later and it would be better to find out and treat that now. And, FWIW, the fatty liver comment *is* the medical term and not a jab at your weight.
Best of luck finding a new RE. (((HUGS)))
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
I had my first RE appointment in January and he sounded a LOT like your doctor. The first thing he recommended to me was gastric bypass as well. He told me to lose 50 lbs and then come back and he would be willing to work with me. Ugh. My husband and I have taken to calling him Dr. Fat Shame.
We did some research and found another clinic in our area. I spoke with their patient coordinator about our previous experience and explained to them that I was working on losing weight but want someone to work with me NOW not later. They were very understanding. We went in for our first appointment two and a half weeks ago and I am on my third day of Clomid right now. They didn't discuss my weight at all. Except to tell me that continuing to lose weight would help my situation.
There is hope out there, My best advice is to do some research and talk to other clinics in the area.
Best luck to you!!
Married January 12, 2013
TTC since July 2013
Fertility Treatments January 2014 - June 2015
Took a break to prepare for IVF
Surprise BFP - September 2015 - MMC at 6 weeks, 5 days
Another surprise BFP - November 2015 - EDD: July 8th!
I also take metformin. I have diarrhea 2-3 times a week. Its not fun but its tolerable. It or my thyroid med is making my hair fall out. I hate that more. But its all worth it
Trying to get knocked up since June 2012 ~ Dx: PCOS
BFP 7.24.13 ~ EDD 4.2.14 ~ m/c 9.16.13 @ 11w4d
BFP 5.4.14 ~ EDD 1.12.15 ~ stick little bean!
TTGP 2013 Best Blog ~ Fruit ~ My BFP Chart
I don't have PCOS but I am overweight. I have hashi's with hypothyroidism and have been heavy my whole life. It is hard for me to lose weight with my thyroid being a total jerk all the time.
Add the stress of infertility and loss and well... it is hard.
My RE and I discussed my weight (i brought it up) but he was respectful and didn't blame any of my problems on weight. He encouraged me to lose some weight so the meds might work better (I wasn't responding) but he told me to not take drastic measures (surgery, fasting, cleansing etc...) He said losing weight in an unhealthy manner would only hurt my chances. There are good RE's out there that don't act like a douche bag.
Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR, DH: normal
IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
- poor responder
***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
FET 5/20- BFP
1st Beta- 641
2nd beta- 2166
Sono- TWINS!!!!
Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks. Healthy and no NICU! So blessed!