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Trouble TTC
pmpknbride
member
It's official, I'm out! NIAW
pmpknbride
member
in Trouble TTC
Oh crap, there is no turning back now. I've spent most of today drafting what I was going to write and I finally pulled the trigger and posted. I also created my own banner since I couldn't find one I liked and I'm happy to share it with whoever would like to use it, you may download it here:
During this difficult time I'm extremely thankful to the few who already know of our struggles for their love and support, the state of New Jersey who is 1 in only 15 states that mandate health insurance to cover infertility treatment (without this coverage we would not be able afford treatments of any sort, just one more reason New Jersey is awesome), the doctors, nurses and medical staff who are our hope for a miracle, and of course for my amazing and loving husband who continues to hold my hand so I do not loose myself on this journey. As we practice patience and weather this storm we are confident that one day there will be a rainbow at the end of it; be it through medicated cycles, IVF, surrogacy, embryo adoption or adoption, there will be a child to hold in our arms to call our very own, and it will all have been worth it.
I have to give some credit to this blog post I found today. She really articulated what I wanted to say and I swiped a couple of her sentences that really resonated with me to get my juices flowing. https://operationbabygage.blogspot.com/2013/04/join-movement-opening-closet-door.html
But here is what I wrote, feel free to use it as your own inspiration. I was crying as I posted it because I was so nervous, and it's only been up for a few minutes, but I have already received so much love and support.
Facebook and social media are where we sound out about our lives, share insight into our families, homes and friendships, but so few of us are actually transparent (I'm pointing the finger at myself here) about our private struggles; we live two lives. Publicly, I have been living a charmed life for the past 2 years. A look at my Facebook timeline reveals trips around the world with my sweet and adorable husband, my Fur-baby Emma who is the light of my life, and sometimes fun and witty facebook statuses. And while I do lead a very blessed life; behind the curtain of social media my private life is a far different reality. It's not all sunshine and rainbows over here as Curt and I have been struggling to grow our family due to infertility. A true day in our reality consists of doctors appointments, blood draws, invasive ultrasounds, hormone injection shots, mood swings, exhaustion, insomnia, night sweats, emotional outbursts, bitterness, hot flashes, bloating, cramps, twinges, and a slew of side effects that I'm too embarrassed to discuss publicly. And if that wasn't bad enough at the end of every month a big fat negative pregnancy test - ironically timed perfectly to a friend or family member's pregnancy or birth announcement - to really rub salt into our aching wounds.
Yesterday marked the beginning of national infertility awareness week and after 2 years of sitting in silence it's feels nerve wracking to come out publicly about our infertility, especially since many close friends and family will be finding out with the general population by reading this post as it has been too awkward to bring up in conversation. About 250 of my Facebook "friends" I have not spoken to personally in 10+ years and to share this intimate detail of our life with you makes me kind of want to throw up a little bit, but I felt compelled to share because 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility, and I know we are not alone.
There is a stigma and a lot of misinformation associated with infertility and its treatments that makes it so hush-hush all the time; and when it's not hush-hush people will more times then not say something completely insensitive since they simply do not understand or are misinformed. I encourage everyone to read RESOLVE's etiquette on dealing with infertility as you will more then likely, at some point in your life, come into contact with a couple dealing with infertility and I'm sure would like to prevent that awkward moment when you insert foot in mouth.
During this difficult time I'm extremely thankful to the few who already know of our struggles for their love and support, the state of New Jersey who is 1 in only 15 states that mandate health insurance to cover infertility treatment (without this coverage we would not be able afford treatments of any sort, just one more reason New Jersey is awesome), the doctors, nurses and medical staff who are our hope for a miracle, and of course for my amazing and loving husband who continues to hold my hand so I do not loose myself on this journey. As we practice patience and weather this storm we are confident that one day there will be a rainbow at the end of it; be it through medicated cycles, IVF, surrogacy, embryo adoption or adoption, there will be a child to hold in our arms to call our very own, and it will all have been worth it.
To those who have faced infertility I have found my strength in you and to those currently struggling in silence my thoughts and prayers are with you. Baby dust to all!
"Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason"
*** SIGGY WARNING ***
Happily Married Since 10.2006 • TTC since 07.2012
HSG Good & SA mostly Normal • DX lean PCOS
MAR - NOV 2013 • 5 Cycles Clomid + TI = 2 Late O's/BFN & 3 Big Fat FAILS
DEC 2013 - FEB 2014 • IUI #1-3 • Femara 5mg + Trigger = 3 BFNs
MAR 2014 • IUI #4 • Follistim + Trigger + Crinone = BFN
APR 2014 • Benched • BCPs to clear up Cysts
MAY 2014 • IUI #5 • Follistim + Ganirelix + Trigger = BFP
E.D.D. 2/18/2015
6/11 +HPT • 6/13 BETA 447 • 6/16 BETA 1535
6/23 U/S Adorable Little Bean • 6/30 U/S Beautiful Strong Heartbeat
This discussion has been closed.
Re: It's official, I'm out! NIAW
ME: 34, Atypical PCOS (lean, no O without meds) + unexplained; DH: 33, mildly low motility
09/2012: Start TTC after stopping NuvaRing. No cycles seemed to occur.
01/2013 - 05/2013: Tried Provera to "jumpstart" cycles. No luck.
12/2013- 01/2014: Clomid 50mg - no big follies, stepped to 100mg; One mature follie, Ovidrel (HCG trigger), IUI #1 completed - BFN
02/2014: Clomid 100mg; One mature follie, Ovidrel trigger, IUI #2 completed, Crinone - BFN
03/2014: Clomid 100mg - no big follies on 1st round, 2nd round prescribed; One mature follie, Ovidrel, IUI #3 completed, Crinone - BFN
04/2014-05/2014: Letrozole 5mg + Ovidrel HG to prep for IUI #4 switched to TI, Crinone - BFN
05/2014-06/2014: Letrozole 5mg; one mature follie, Ovidrel, IUI #4.1 completed, Crinone - BFN
07/2014-08/2014: Letrozole 5mg; one mature follie, Ovidrel, IUI #5 completed, Crinone - BFN
09/2014-10/2014: IVF Prep - Insurance requires IUI #6; Letrozole 5mg - no big follies 1st round, 2nd round prescribed; IUI #6, Crinone - BFN
11/2014: "Break" - Letrozole 5mg to cycle before prepping for IVF - successfully O'ed, but BFN
12/2014: Extending 'break' one more Letrozole-only TI cycle for mental health break - BFN
01/2015-02/2015: Prep for IVF - BCP then Gonal-F, Ganirelex, Novarel trigger; ER scheduled 2/11!
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4cf919
PAIF/SAIF Welcome.
Kudos to you for coming out!
Married 12/4/12
Began TTC 11/2012
Diagnosed as anovulatory 7/2013
Round #1 Clomid 50 mg 8/2013= BFN
Round#2 Clomid 50 mg 9/2013=BFN
First appointment with RE 9/27/2013
HSG showed left tube completely blocked, diagnosed with hypothyroid and began 50 mcg Synthroid, Vitamin D level low and began 2000 iu Vitamin D, Hubby's SA showed "super sperm" according to RE
Round#3 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 10/2013= BFN
Round #4 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 11/2013=BFN
Round #5 Clomid 50 mg (no trigger, on vacation) 12/2012= BFN
Round #1 Femara 2.5 mg, no trigger, IUI cancelled due to early ovulation 1/2014= BFN
1/25/2014= BENCHED for the first time (two leftover follies on the right)
2/7/14 Diagnosed with MTHFR/Benched
4/2014 Round #2 Femara 5mg, IUI #1=BFN
4/28/14 positive opk with no treatment while on break, confirmed with ultrasound= BFN
5/16/14 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN
6/2014 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN
Awaiting IVF consultation appointment on 7/29/2014
8/8/14 Began BCP's to prep for IVF
9/16/14 Began Lupron injections
9/25/14 Began stimming for IVF #1 with Menopur and Bravelle
10/8/14 10 eggs retrieved
10/13/14 2 embryos transferred
10/21/14 BFP!!!
11/24/14 confirmed that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, d&c scheduled
Kudos to you!!!!
TTC since 2012
Me 35, DH 32 -DH SA all clear
8/97 severe perotinitis infection as a result of ruptured appendix. poss abdomen/tube scarring
1/12 HSG all clear!
2/12 Multiple fibroids diagnosed, 2 submucosal
3/14 Hashimoto diagnosed, began treatment
3/14 first RE appointment
5/14 successful lapriscopic myomectomy via power morcellation
as of 7/14.....not so patiently waiting
poss IUI/IVF fall 2014 BIG Surprise BFP Aug 2014!
Me: 30 DW (aka C): 29
Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12
***CP mentioned***
We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm. 8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy. We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET. I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013.
11/14/14 - Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good.
12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2
12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)
1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2
****All Welcome!****
We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.
****siggy warning****
Me 29/ DH 28
DH- MFI (low count, 2-3% morph)
IUI #1 January - Clomid, Ovidrel: BFN
IUI #2 February - Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel: BFP 1st beta-25, 2nd beta-56, 3rd beta-45, miscarriage
IUI #3 April - CD3 U/S 4-10. Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel CD11 - Cancelled.. TI w/5 follicles-BFN
IUI #3.1 May - CD3 U/S 5-6, Follistim start 5-11 thru 5-17, u/s 5-18 3 mature w/ a close 4th, IUI 5-20 - BFP!
Beta #1 12dpo - 164 & progesterone - 89!, Beta #2 16 dpo - 1189, 5w3d - u/s shows TWINS!
6/19- u/s showed heartbeats! Baby A 111 & Baby B 118, both measuring 6w1d
7/3- Baby A hb 170, Baby B hb 166 - both measuring perfect.
7/18 - Baby A 165, Baby B 171 - both measuring right on track & moving all around!
IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
S/PAIFW , S/PALW
My Blog
2008: HSG (normal), couple rounds of clomid through gyno
2008 - 2010: dragging my feet out of fear and procrastination
October 2010: first consultation with RE, dx PCOS and fibroids (DH slightly low count/motility)
Oct. 2010 - Dec. 2012: In DENIAL! avoided the issue because I was scared of surgery
January 2013: returned to RE, fibroids grew significantly
February 2013: second HSG, fibroids pushed on tubes which blocked them somewhat
March 2013: MRI to determine what type of surgery may be necessary
July 29, 2013: fibroids (5) removed via robotic laparascopy
August 2013 - Nov 2013 : benched due to recent surgery
IUI #3, Feb. 25, 2014 BFN
IUI #4 canceled due to lack of response to letrozole
IUI #4.1 April 28, 2014, BFN
May 16, 2014: wtf consult, start prepping for IVF in June and add injects for one last IUI in the meantime
IUI #5 started letrozole and bravelle but canceled after HSG led to new diagnosis
May 21, 2014: third HSG, tubes blocked, one at the beginning, one hydrosalpinx??
IVF #1 August 8, 2014 - 3dt of 2 embryos, BFN
September 17, 2014 - 4th HSG, the right tube is very patent (open!!) dye went straight through this time. Weird!
October 2, 2014 - started metformin treatment
November 14, 2014 - blood work, brought A1C down from 5.8 to 5.5
November 26, 2014 - RE finally back from vaca and reviewed my chart, no more IVFs for rest of calendar year
December 1, 2014 - Right after Thanksgiving, I called a new clinic and got in right away! Plan for IVF
December 17, 2014 - ER! 29 retrieved (!!), 16 mature, all 16 fertilized (ICSI)
IVF #2 December 20, 2014 - 3dt of 3 embryos, BFN
We are done with treatment unsuccessfully.
BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
TTC naturally since Dec 2011
TTC ART since Dec 2012
Dx: Seems to be low progestrone
Drug Cocktails since Jan 2013
List of Meds: Letrozole, Ovidrel, & Follistim, Prometrium, Endometrin
BFP #1: Feb 2013; Lost 7 days later, Chem Preg
BFP #2: June 2013; Lost 4 days later; Chem Preg
BFP #3: Sept 2013; 6 wks pg; Miscarraige with DNC in Oct
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