DS is almost 20 months old. He has never been a good sleeper. Finally, when he turned around a year old, we took down the crib & I began co-sleeping with him (queen bed in his room w/bedrail) so we could both get more rest. He nurses to sleep for his nap & nurses before bed (but not to sleep) for bedtime. My boobs have become his lovey (he likes to just reach his hand in my shirt, then he’s suddenly comforted).
His major issue is that he needs ME to fall asleep. He has never been able to go down for bed unless I am in the room with him, right by the bed. I tried Ferber (HATED it…CIO is NOT for us) when he was around 9 months. I tried a version of the Sleep Lady Shuffle around 12 months with the help of a hired sleep consultant, but he started teething fiercely & when he teethes, his separation anxiety goes off the charts so I had to stop…hence the co-sleeping. For a while, I would lay down with him until he fell asleep, then he would sleep until about 10pm, then I would go to bed with him. Fine. But now, I’m 19 weeks pregnant & freaking out about what will happen when baby #2 arrives.
I’m trying to get to where he can go to bed without me so that when the next baby comes, I’m not having to leave baby #2 for 30+ minutes while I go lay down with DS until he falls asleep (DH works 3rd shift every other month, so baby would be alone). So, I’m trying the Shuffle again, but he just will not fall asleep unless he is touching me, & for the last 2 weeks that I’ve been trying to attempt the Shuffle (haven’t gotten far), he has started waking up every 30 min-1hr after bed & will just sit there & cry for me until I go in & comfort him back to sleep.
Suggestions?? Help please?!?
Re: Toddler sleep HELP!!
i wouldn't stress about what will happen when baby #2 arrives. your DS will be older then and you will be able to explain more to him. a lot of people do a floor mattress for their toddler LOs in their room, so he could continue to sleep nearby, but you can explain that the new baby needs lots of nursing and needs to be next to you.
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
www.becomingmamas.com
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
www.becomingmamas.com
DS1 was a crummy sleeper for ages. Both my kids were much more consistent and able to go to sleep on their own (without nursing) by about 2.5. It sounds trite, but it'll work itself out, try not to be overly stressed about it.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
More Green For Less Green
I think the fact that you've got a bed big enough to accommodate both kids will be really helpful. I'm thinking about using our queen guest bed for DS#1 for awhile, because I don't really see a way to change DS#1's routine without it feeling like I'm punishing him.
Our DS#1 sleep routine is/was similar. We go in phases of him being able to sleep well on his own and then not so muchl. One thing that I notice is that when I lay with him in his bed (and usually fall asleep with him - like every night of my first trimester), his sleeping on his own suffers and he calls out for me whenever he stirs.
If I put the energy (and nights) into the first few steps in the shuffle/NCSS method (I think they are the same, but I got my advice from NCSS), I got good results. First, just trying not to totally fall asleep there (the hardest step). Then putting a little space between us in the bed. Then sitting on the floor with my head on the pillow. Then my head on the edge of the bed. Then my hand on the bed. You get the idea..... but putting attention to those micro-steps of the process actually seemed to make a big difference in his reaction as he stirred during the night.
I still balance my own need for sleep with my need for him to sleep better on his own, but knowing what it takes helps me deal when I get frustrated.
GL!