Husband not wanting to have sex!!!

Mommy623 · April 2014

My husband is having issues with having sex while I am pregnant and we have discussed why he's having these issues. He's not afraid he'll hurt the baby he is weirded out that she is in there and so is he lol! He feels like there is another person in the room and its awkward for him. I on the other hand am craving sex and having crazy sex dreams about him and like need it now! I am 31 weeks and really don't want to wait until after she's here because by then it will be have been like 3-4 months since we did it last!!!! Someone help lol! Any ideas? Or have the same problem?

awc1986 · April 2014

I just wanna say that you're not alone. We haven't had sexy time throughout the pregnancy because he's convinced she's aware of it. He gets stage fright. Funny how he doesn't think that when I'm giving him a little "help".

food_chick · April 2014

My dh is not into sex during pregnancy either - wasn't with any of them. It's not that he won't, but he doesn't push for it. Same reason as yours. And I hear ya on the sex dreams. Why not just masturbate? I realize it's not the same, but better than nothing.

allrightmeow · April 2014

Tell him the fetus isn't "aware" of anything. Im sorry you ladies are dealing with this.

Mommy623 · April 2014

That is so hilarious! I've done the same for my hubby and he sure enjoys that but its like what about me?

jessig13826 · April 2014

I think that's pretty normal.

Mommy623 · April 2014

Although masturbating would possibly help its just not enough, its like yeah I would love to orgasm but sex is way more fun plus its that closeness that I have with him that I don't have with anyone else. We have done it, its just very in frequent and I am having such vivid dreams that its like a craving I just have to have it and I feel like I can't do anything else lol until we've done it!

rainydayluck · April 2014

It might be something he can't get over and IMO, you should respect that. If you felt like shit and really didn't want to have sex, you'd probably expect him to respect your wishes.

Just think of people who are on bed rest or pelvic rest starting from early on - sucks, but life goes on.

Qualera · April 2014

DH has been there for months now. As soon as he could feel LO moving around inside by putting his hand on my belly he was finished. He said it is just too weird. He's still very affectionate but sex is off the table. In the last month, I haven't really cared much. My dreams went from sexy time to zombie apocalypse and pure WTF stuff for the most part. All I can say is try to be patient, and respect his feelings too as PP said.

lavendergiraffes · April 2014

Yup, too weird for my dh for a while now... I just go take care of myself. :-)

awc1986 · April 2014

rainydayluck said:

It might be something he can't get over and IMO, you should respect that. If you felt like shit and really didn't want to have sex, you'd probably expect him to respect your wishes. Just think of people who are on bed rest or pelvic rest starting from early on - sucks, but life goes on.

This. If your relationship is strong enough for you to decide to have a baby, then it's strong enough to survive a few months of no nookie while baby is cooking. I went through the horny time, but to be honest I had so little energy that the thought of actually DOING it put me to sleep.

Nekotaru · April 2014

Mine is the same, and I respect his feelings on it but it's definitely frustrating. He said it was different for him when I was in 1st and 2nd trimester, but now I'm 35w and he can't get "in the mood" because it's "so real" and he feels like there is a 3rd person there judging him lol.

I told him I tried masturbating but it's not the same, in fact it's actually really hard for me to even do that at this point to comfortable reach my hand around my tummy down there, not to mention all the carpal tunnel issues I'm having

Mommy623 · April 2014

I respect his wishes but even being affectionate is hard for him too and I understand people go through this all the time. Just sharing my frustration and seeing if anyone else had this issue or found something that worked for them.

bewilderingstar · April 2014

My DH is just starting to get weirded out. He'll only pursue it once every other week now because he's freaked out by the baby. He think he'll poke him and once felt Little Dude move while doing it on a side position so that didn't help at all. Honestly though, it's a relief for me. I don't have any drive for the lovin'.

PrimRoseMama · April 2014

rainydayluck said:
It might be something he can't get over and IMO, you should respect that. If you felt like shit and really didn't want to have sex, you'd probably expect him to respect your wishes.

Just think of people who are on bed rest or pelvic rest starting from early on - sucks, but life goes on.

This all the way. Also, FYI, I'm not sure you are aware: nothing in the vagina 6 weeks after delivery.

If he's not into it then he's not into it. My advice is to respect your partner. Bust out the dildos & porn. You can even masturbate together. Get creative. Sex is more than penetration.

flockofmoosen3 · April 2014

I second everyone else. But to commiserate, we're going through the same thing. I actually have been really wanting the connection, but I can't seem to get the physical urge like I used to so I never suggest sex. I was feeling really guilty about how infrequent and boring our sex has been lately, so we talked about it last weekend. Turns out that while DH found my belly really sexy early on, now...not so much. He says it's just too out there now and baby girl is right there. But a couple of days later I helped him out and we both felt pretty good about that. Actually, he said that at work the next day he felt totally super charged, haha! AFM, when I'm feeling it, I'll just take care of myself.

naturaloaklandmama · April 2014

I am having the same thing. Hubs is very affectionate and spends a lot of time rubbing belly, etc. Does a good job of making me still feel sexy despite feeling like a whale. BUT the sex department is not happening. When I try to initiate, its mostly something -- not in the mood, tired, etc, (ie all the stereotypical I have a headache excuses). Not that we have had no sex but its been VERY limited. I am actually ok with it despite the fact that the hormones make it such that when we do have sex its like an instaorgasm. BUT my fear is that once baby comes then we really won't be having sex. So hoping that this is not the end of our sex life. Of course, at the same time, my husband is in teh procss of opening a new business which is super complicated and challenging and stressful, and its set to open right when baby arrives. So more than anything, I think its probably just that he has too much stress to really get in the mood. So hopefully once baby arrives and his business is kicking butt, then we can get back to where we were. You just hear all of these horror stories about parents never having sex...but I have to imagine it depends on the couple...?

ExpectingBlessing2009 · April 2014

My husband is a horn dog lol but he understands that I don't always want it like before due to hormones. I am almost 36 weeks and sooooo uncomfortable. We masturbate together if necessary. You will be surprised at the pleasure lol.

PrimRoseMama · April 2014

@naturaloaklandmama‌ "You just hear all of these horror stories about parents never having sex...but I have to imagine it depends on the couple...? "

Depends on the couple.
Depends on how parenting goes.

Honestly I have drastically less sex than before I had kids. I'm not sure either of us would classify it as a "horror story". When you are not sleeping then sex takes a back seat to rest. I'm not even sorry.

Frannavaldez9399 · April 2014

My husband quit touching me the day I told him I was pregnant. Last may. (Or April.. Something like that). Since giving birth we've done it three times. I have no interest and it hurts like hell. Even at 19 weeks PP. Plus.. Sleeping is way more important now!!! As for being pregnant and wanting it.. It was really hard. The emotional roller coaster was insane. You just have to take it one day at a time. If he's a real man, he still loves you and finds you just as desirable as before. Just... There's something in there, and they think its going to grab ahold! Good luck.

mrsburrell5581 · May 2014

I'm having the same issue with my husband. He will not budge. He is so freaked out. I'm just dealing with it. Hopefully the second pregnancy he will come around

blacktie3 · May 2014

Qualera said:

DH has been there for months now. As soon as he could feel LO moving around inside by putting his hand on my belly he was finished. He said it is just too weird. He's still very affectionate but sex is off the table. In the last month, I haven't really cared much. My dreams went from sexy time to zombie apocalypse and pure WTF stuff for the most part. All I can say is try to be patient, and respect his feelings too as PP said.

OMG! Exactly! I have to say mad me fell pretty bad at first but its a temperary situation

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