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Remember that time I got flamed...

kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
in Stay at Home Moms
For saying I hoped my kids were well liked over being super smart? Seems like I was onto something. https://time.com/68333/this-is-the-number-one-thing-that-holds-most-people-back-from-success/
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Re: Remember that time I got flamed...

  • nonoemilynonoemily member
    These kinds of articles are funny to me, because it's kind of an obvious thing if you've ever managed a group. Anyone who shows up willing to work and keep a good attitude is an asset over someone with great skills and a crappy attitude.

    My xh was very successful in his field (doing trial graphics and animations) because he had enough nerd-cred to work with the designers and animators, but enough people skills to actually talk to lawyers and clients.

    Actually, some of the smartest people I know are difficult and not especially successful
    Elkanah Brave, born 02/06/2012 7:26am
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    nonoemily said:
    These kinds of articles are funny to me, because it's kind of an obvious thing if you've ever managed a group. Anyone who shows up willing to work and keep a good attitude is an asset over someone with great skills and a crappy attitude. My xh was very successful in his field (doing trial graphics and animations) because he had enough nerd-cred to work with the designers and animators, but enough people skills to actually talk to lawyers and clients. Actually, some of the smartest people I know are difficult and not especially successful

    That's probably because there's a lot of overlap between giftedness and autistic symptoms. https://healthland.time.com/2012/07/10/what-child-prodigies-and-autistic-people-have-in-common/ I've said it before and I'll say it again--intelligence like that is so overrated. We had DDs iq tested and while they couldn't get an overall score because she wouldn't fully cooperate they saw enough to suspect she's bright. I was probably the only parent in history disappointed over that. Lol.
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  • nonoemilynonoemily member
    No I understand that.

    I just really hope my kids grow up to be happy adults. I know so few adults who seem truly happy.
    Elkanah Brave, born 02/06/2012 7:26am
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  • AprilLVEAprilLVE member
    What were the people doing the flamings arguments? It doesn't seem that controversial to me. If good personal relationships correlate more to happiness than intelligence, of course I would prefer the former.

    I think I read an article in The Atlantic once that the only trait that has been correlated to happiness is a good relationship with siblings. Everything else, money, jobs, IQ, marriage, etc has no statistical correlation. I'll have to see if I can find that article and if I'm remembering correctly.
    DD - 12/31/13
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    Gastro said:
    These kinds of articles are funny to me, because it's kind of an obvious thing if you've ever managed a group. Anyone who shows up willing to work and keep a good attitude is an asset over someone with great skills and a crappy attitude. My xh was very successful in his field (doing trial graphics and animations) because he had enough nerd-cred to work with the designers and animators, but enough people skills to actually talk to lawyers and clients. Actually, some of the smartest people I know are difficult and not especially successful
    This. DH is incredibly successful at his job because he's the guy you want a grab a beer with after the meeting. And over that beer is actually where the deal gets closed.
    Exactly. Dh is great at what he does bc he has the knowledge AND the people skills. 
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    gwapes said:
    KC? Flamed? Huh?

    I know right???
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    amy052006 said:
    Kimbus22 said:
    AprilLVE said:
    What were the people doing the flamings arguments? It doesn't seem that controversial to me. If good personal relationships correlate more to happiness than intelligence, of course I would prefer the former.

    I think I read an article in The Atlantic once that the only trait that has been correlated to happiness is a good relationship with siblings. Everything else, money, jobs, IQ, marriage, etc has no statistical correlation. I'll have to see if I can find that article and if I'm remembering correctly.
    I think the flaming came about because it was looked at as very black and white (Popular vs. Smart if your kid could only be one).  If I'm remembering the right thread...
    Yup -- I also think it came up from how college is becoming more and more a necessity just to land an entry level job and then quickly morphed into anecdotes about how people know popular guys who can't even add who have as much money as Warren Buffet so there.
    ILY
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  • AprilLVEAprilLVE member
    Lack of nuance and anecdotes as fact? Doesn't sound like TB at all!
    DD - 12/31/13
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    Kimbus22 said:
    AprilLVE said:
    What were the people doing the flamings arguments? It doesn't seem that controversial to me. If good personal relationships correlate more to happiness than intelligence, of course I would prefer the former.

    I think I read an article in The Atlantic once that the only trait that has been correlated to happiness is a good relationship with siblings. Everything else, money, jobs, IQ, marriage, etc has no statistical correlation. I'll have to see if I can find that article and if I'm remembering correctly.
    I think the flaming came about because it was looked at as very black and white (Popular vs. Smart if your kid could only be one).  If I'm remembering the right thread...

    Aren't those hypotheticals always black and white though? Certainly we'd all want our kids to be happy little geniuses who are well liked by everyone with tons of amazing friends.
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    amy052006 said:
    I don't really remember it has hypotheticals though.  The original conversation was about college and the response was "Well, I rather my kid be well liked".  Which ok, great, but even if you are well liked it is still a more difficult path with a basica degree.

    Nope. The two debates were totally unrelated. I said i was cool with my kid choosing a trade in the college thread then confessed in a Fffc that intelligence was overrated and I'd rather my kid be well liked and have to work a little at school than be naturally intelligent
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