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Having a hard time w/ all this... the worrying is making me crazy.

MissEm15MissEm15 member
edited April 2014 in Trouble TTC

So I thought the 2WW would be less stressful bc what's done is done... but I can't stop worrying. So I know I already posed about this & I'm not trying to be whiney or annoying, if I am I apologize. But our last IUI was cancelled. RE recommended to abstain but said we could go for TI if we were comfortable.. 5 mature follicles w/ MFI. We did. But now I'm just a wreck. It's all I think about, whether I made the right decision or not, weighing all the possible outcomes, playing the odds. I think I've googled success rates & HOM rates for a total of 8 hours probably & it's been two days. I know we will cross that bridge when we get there & my hubby and I are always in this together. Looking back, I hope we didn't make the wrong decision out of desperation. We just really wanted a fighting shot. I had to get these feelings off my chest to someone other than my DH. Thanks for listening ladies.

Edit-reword/spelling

****siggy warning****

Me 29/ DH 28
DH- MFI (low count, 2-3% morph)
IUI #1 January - Clomid, Ovidrel: BFN
IUI #2 February - Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel: BFP 1st beta-25, 2nd beta-56, 3rd beta-45, miscarriage
IUI #3 April - CD3 U/S 4-10. Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel CD11 - Cancelled.. TI w/5 follicles-BFN
IUI #3.1 May - CD3 U/S 5-6, Follistim start 5-11 thru 5-17, u/s 5-18 3 mature w/ a close 4th, IUI 5-20 - BFP!
             Beta #1 12dpo - 164 & progesterone - 89!, Beta #2 16 dpo - 1189, 5w3d - u/s shows TWINS!
             6/19- u/s showed heartbeats! Baby A 111 & Baby B 118, both measuring 6w1d
             7/3- Baby A hb 170, Baby B hb 166 - both measuring perfect.
             7/18 - Baby A 165, Baby B 171 - both measuring right on track & moving all around!

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Re: Having a hard time w/ all this... the worrying is making me crazy.

  • jencity9jencity9 member
    Try not to worry so much or you will drive yourself crazy! Five can sound scary if you imagine all the biggest possibilities, but I've also had 3 follies on multiple occasions with IUI and nothing so far. Hopefully at least one will make it! And if more you can deal with that when you get to it and decide what to do.

    Me: 32  DH: 33  Married: March 2004

    July 2006: started TTC
    2008: HSG (normal), couple rounds of clomid through gyno
    2008 - 2010: dragging my feet out of fear and procrastination
    October 2010: first consultation with RE, dx PCOS and fibroids (DH slightly low count/motility)
    Oct. 2010 - Dec. 2012:  In DENIAL! avoided the issue because I was scared of surgery
    January 2013: returned to RE, fibroids grew significantly
    February 2013: second HSG, fibroids pushed on tubes which blocked them somewhat
    March 2013: MRI to determine what type of surgery may be necessary
    July 29, 2013: fibroids (5) removed via robotic laparascopy
    August 2013 - Nov 2013 : benched due to recent surgery

    IUI #1, Dec. 24, 2013, BFN 
    IUI #2, Jan. 25, 2014, BFN
    IUI #3, Feb. 25, 2014  BFN
    IUI #4 canceled due to lack of response to letrozole
    IUI #4.1 April 28, 2014, BFN
    May 16, 2014: wtf consult, start prepping for IVF in June and add injects for one last IUI in the meantime
    IUI #5 started letrozole and bravelle but canceled after HSG led to new diagnosis
    May 21, 2014: third HSG, tubes blocked, one at the beginning, one hydrosalpinx??
    June 11, 2014: consult, approved to move on to IVF because the hydro is not completely blocked therefore allowing fluid to move through slowly rather than backwards
    IVF #1 August 8, 2014 - 3dt of 2 embryos, BFN
    September 17, 2014 - 4th HSG, the right tube is very patent (open!!) dye went straight through this time. Weird!
    October 2, 2014 - started metformin treatment
    November 14, 2014 - blood work, brought A1C down from 5.8 to 5.5
    November 26, 2014 - RE finally back from vaca and reviewed my chart, no more IVFs for rest of calendar year
    December 1, 2014 - Right after Thanksgiving, I called a new clinic and got in right away! Plan for IVF
    December 17, 2014 - ER! 29 retrieved (!!), 16 mature, all 16 fertilized (ICSI)
    IVF #2 December 20, 2014 - 3dt of 3 embryos, BFN

    We are done with treatment unsuccessfully. :(


    PAIF/SAIF/All Welcome!

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  • kaynix21kaynix21 member
    Understand your pain. Try and keep yourself distracted because you're right, you can't do anything about it now. Hugs to you and that your 2ww goes by as quickly as possible.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    TTC: Started May 2012
    Bloodwork - potential ovulation issue which seemed to be fixed by clomid.
    SA - Mot (36%) and count low 9.3 mil (updated) 
    HSG - Oct 16 2013 - came back clear
    Clomid #1 - Nov. 2013 - BFN
    BFP#1 =  Clomid #2, Dec. 2013 - EDD 9.9.14 Loss Jan 9
    Femara #1 + Trigger (2/21) Feb. 2014 +ruptured ovarian cyst - BFN
    SIS clear
    April 2014: 50IU Follistim CD3-CD9 + 25IU CD10-CD13+CD13 trigger 1 mature follie= BFN
    IUI #1: May 2014 50IU Follistim + trigger + IUI = BFN
    IUI #2: June 2014 50IU Follistim + IUI (3 mil sperm)=  BFN
    TI #2: June 2014 50IU Follistim  + Trigger = BFN
    BFP#2 = IUI# 3: Aug 2014 75IU Follistim+ Trigger + IUI (2 mil sperm) EDD May 15

    BabyFruit Ticker


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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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  • CandaceC1020CandaceC1020 member
    The 2WW is awful.  As hard as it is, you need to think about other things and try to take your mind off of everything that is going on.  Go to redbox and grab a few movies you've wanted to watch.  Head to the local library and pick up a few books.  Go get a massage, or haircut, or mani/pedi.  Go spend some time with your girlfriends.  Go shopping or window shopping. 

    I'd also recommend staying away from the Google machine.  Googling pregnancy things and 2WW stuff makes distracting yourself so much harder.  I laid off of the computer as much as possible and told myself that when I started to google that I'd tell my husband and hand over my laptop and phone. 


    Married on October 20, 2012.  Began trying in January 2013.
    RE appointment & testing December 2013 - February 2014= Unexplained IF, possible endometriosis
    IUI#1- March 22 (100mg clomid, 75 mg of Bravelle, Ovidrel trigger) = BFP!!!


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  • Lillovebug79Lillovebug79 member
    Try not to worry, I know the 2WW is hard but keep yourself distracted. For what it's worth, I had 4-5 mature follies and did a trigger and IUI with a post wash count of 12.5 mil and not a single one took!! Now I hope that doesn't happen for you and you end up with one sticky baby but the chances for more than two are very slim with MFI.
    I hope your 2WW goes by quickly!



    ********Siggy/Ticker Warning***********



    Me (35) no known issues DH (37) MFI. TTC 21 months (24 cycles)
    Dx MFI with low to normal count, low motility, morphology 3%
    HSG normal, ultrasound and labs on me all normal. 

    1 cycle of Clomid 50mg and TI, unmonitored by OBGYN= BFN
    1 cycle of Clomid 50mg and IUI, unmonitored by OBGYN= BFN
    Started seeing an RE!!
    2 more cycles of clomid 50mg (great response), with IUI and Pregnyl trigger (4.8-8 mil good ones after wash) = all BFN
    1 cycle of clomid 50mg (3-7) followed by Follistim 75iu (7-11) + IUI = BFN
    December 2013 DH saw urologist and is taking Anastrozole, CoQ10, and L-Carnitine
    IUI #5 natural cycle (needed a med break) = BFN
    IUI #6 Follistim 75iu (CD3-10) + Pregnyl (CD11) + IUI (final count after wash 300K) = BFN
    IUI #7 Follistim 75iu (CD3-9) + Pregnyl (CD11) + IUI on 2/20 (post wash count 12.5 million)= BFN
    IUI cancelled (DH OOT) Clomid 50mg (CD3-7) 1 follicle +(not well timed) TI = BFN
    IUI #8 and last one!! Clomid 100mg (CD3-7) +OPK before US + IUI 4/17 (post wash 8.5 mil)= BFN

    Pre-IVF testing complete! SHG great and measurements taken! Labs for infectious diseases completed, FSH (5.4), TSH (1.6), Prolactin (11), AMH (2.6), Estradiol (40).

    Started BCP 5/29 and Lupron 6/11 prep for IVF #1! Started follistim 225u/day on 6/28. Monitoring on 7/2 >15 follicles measuring 11-14, E2 758. Monitoring on 7/5 all ready to go!! Great follicle sizes and lining is at 9. Tigger 7/5, ER 7/7 16R 9M 3F. Stimmed too fast in just 7 days. 7/10 3dt of 2 8-cell grade 2 & 4. 7/14 P4 >60.
    Holy crap BFP!!!
    Beta #1 (14dpo) 7/21 112 Beta #2 (16dpo) 7/23 286 a Beta #3 (18dpo) 7/25 761 Beta #4 (21dpo) 2631!!! Hold on tight little embies!!      First Ultrasound 8/7- 1 perfect little bean with a beating heart 117bpm!! EDD 3/30.
    Second ultrasound 9/2 Little bean measuring a few days ahead with a heart rate of 161!


    PAIF/SAIF/All Welcome!

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    March 15 Siggy Challenge: You had one job

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  • MissEm15MissEm15 member

    Thanks ladies.. someone needs to break my computer. lol Luckily we are on a staycation the rest of the week so I'm going to try and go the whole weekend w/out a computer & keeping myself occupied!!

    @calindi FX for your 2WW also!! @nariadreaming I hope you're wrong abt your current cyle and get positive results soon!!

    ****siggy warning****

    Me 29/ DH 28
    DH- MFI (low count, 2-3% morph)
    IUI #1 January - Clomid, Ovidrel: BFN
    IUI #2 February - Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel: BFP 1st beta-25, 2nd beta-56, 3rd beta-45, miscarriage
    IUI #3 April - CD3 U/S 4-10. Letrozole, Follistim, Ovidrel CD11 - Cancelled.. TI w/5 follicles-BFN
    IUI #3.1 May - CD3 U/S 5-6, Follistim start 5-11 thru 5-17, u/s 5-18 3 mature w/ a close 4th, IUI 5-20 - BFP!
                 Beta #1 12dpo - 164 & progesterone - 89!, Beta #2 16 dpo - 1189, 5w3d - u/s shows TWINS!
                 6/19- u/s showed heartbeats! Baby A 111 & Baby B 118, both measuring 6w1d
                 7/3- Baby A hb 170, Baby B hb 166 - both measuring perfect.
                 7/18 - Baby A 165, Baby B 171 - both measuring right on track & moving all around!

    image

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