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May 2014 Moms
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Etiquette Question ...

Jillzy86Jillzy86 member
in May 2014 Moms
I had my baby shower this past weekend with my side of the family and it was wonderful! My cousin Hosted it at a restaurant and asked my aunt and cousin to come early to help her set up . My mother in law came in to town and stayed with my aunt so she went early with her to help. The party started at 2:30 and my cousin asked them to show up at 1. They were alright with the time but thought it was early. My cousin had something happen and did not show up until 1:45 and did not explain why she was late. She had ordered a cake and cookies to be delivered at 1 and did not pay for them ahead of time.
I found out today that my MIL ended up paying $200 for the cake and cookies that my cousin ordered because she was not there on time to pay for it her self. I don't think my MIL should have had to do this because she is hosting another shower for me next weekend for her side of the family. How should I bring this subject up to my cousin who hosted the party?
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Re: Etiquette Question ...

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  • Jillzy86Jillzy86 member
    edited April 2014
    I wish she had. I have no idea why she didn't bring it up to her. It turns out my MIL and other cousin who was helping set up, split the cost and payed cash. I wonder if they did and she just forgot to pay them. I have no idea. Would it be best if I just payed them both back for the cake? I hate to ask my cousin who payed for everything to shell out more money for the cake ( that she ordered), but I don't want my MIL or other cousin to be stuck with not being reimbursed.
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  • EmilyGolden1EmilyGolden1 member
    edited April 2014
    Edited because I'm bitchy and tired
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  • LizmullenLizmullen member
    Yeah I'm not sure I would get involved, could get messy quickly!
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  • bcnoellebcnoelle member
    I would probably offer my MIL to reimburse her directly for what she put towards the cake. There's a good chance she would decline. I would also mention to my cousin that I offered/did pay for what MIL put towards the cake since she is throwing her own shower. Your cousin is the one that ordered the cake and hosted the shower, correct? That being said, I would also give a very nice hostess gift or look for a way to return the favor to said cousin in the near future,
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  • MrsT2008MrsT2008 member
    I wouldn't get involved - it really has nothing to do with you.
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  • Jillzy86Jillzy86 member
    Yes my cousin was the one who hosted and ordered the cake. I did give my cousin who hosted a gift for hosting ( a Lush gift box with a bunch of products and a card with a check for $100 donation for her sons autism walk). I also gave the same Lush gift box to my other cousin who helped set up and helped her with the shower.
    I spoke to my mom today and told her what happened she suggested we just split the cost and pay my MIL back and not bring it up again. You are right money can get people pretty salty, no need to make an issue out of it. Thanks for the advice ladies!
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    I'm glad you are concerned about your MIL and I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought! Even if you do nothing though I wouldn't think it would reflect poorly on you as it was not your fault that your cousin didn't show up to do her part.

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  • AnnieA75AnnieA75 member
    Money is such a sticky situation! PPs are right that you probably just shouldn't get involved and your cousin should contact your MIL to handle this. However, I worry entirely too much about stuff and would be too concerned that my MIL would get stuck with this unexpected shower cost. I can't think of a way though for you to bring it up to your cousin without it being potentially awkward. So, could you ask your Aunt or your other cousin to mention something to your cousin that hosted the shower? Maybe they can get is squared away and then you won't have to get uncomfortably involved.

    I for sure would not pay MIL myself for it and can't imagine she'd even accept the money from you.
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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    Jillzy86 said:
    Yes my cousin was the one who hosted and ordered the cake. I did give my cousin who hosted a gift for hosting ( a Lush gift box with a bunch of products and a card with a check for $100 donation for her sons autism walk). I also gave the same Lush gift box to my other cousin who helped set up and helped her with the shower. I spoke to my mom today and told her what happened she suggested we just split the cost and pay my MIL back and not bring it up again. You are right money can get people pretty salty, no need to make an issue out of it. Thanks for the advice ladies!
    This is probably what I would do.
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  • kb2bkkkb2bkk member
    I would probably just offer to pay my MIL/Cousin back for their unexpected expenses.  If I were in their position I would probably just decline the $ anyways. 
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