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Working Moms
MommaP12
member
Feelings about work - Long
MommaP12
member
in Working Moms
I just feel like I need to put this somewhere and get some feedback on how to get over it. I may delete this later too to be safe.
I started in December back at a company I worked for several years ago. It's fine - the job is okay, it's a little stressful and chaotic, but what job isn't? My boss is pretty good - she has her issues, but it could be much, much worse (and I know this from experience!). I work 8:30-5 in a corporate environment.
Before coming back here, I had a job that rendered me defeated, depressed, and I just completely hated it and the toxic environment. I worked there 1.5 years and was desperate to get out after only about 5 months.
Just before that I worked at a company for 5 years. While it had it's issues as most jobs do, most were at the end of my career there so I moved on. While I was there though I made a lot of friends, had a couple of different roles and it was okay until the last year and then I left. When I got into the new job and realized that I didn't like it, I tried to get back in the old place and it just wasn't going to happen because a new VP didn't want old timers - she was sort of cleaning house. In hindsight it may have be a blessing to not get back in as I have several friends that are now looking to leave.
My problem is this: Even though my current job is fine, I just am not feeling it. I'm not feeling corporate america (which I've mentioned in other threads), I'm not excited to be here, I don't enjoy what I'm doing - though I don't hate it, I don't have any friends here, I'm not on a real team (there are 4 of us and we each do our own thing/focus on our own area) and I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'll never belong here and I'm not sure I want to.
I've looked into making a career change to event/wedding planning (which I've also posted on other threads here), but decided against that because I really don't want crazy/demanding night/weekend hours with kids and my husband's schedule can be erratic so one of needs to be more stable. I'm also currently the bread winner and insurance carrier which makes things tough too. My husband owns his own tourism company. I guess I'm feeling trapped and lonely? I'm not even sure.
If I could do anything, I would work for/with DH. We talk about this potentially happening, but it's not likely for 1-3 years if even that soon - we certainly need to have no daycare costs and I'm scared about insurance even with the ACA in place. In the meantime, I just miss actually liking work, have a team and camaraderie there, feeling good about what I do, etc. I feel like I am just getting by for now.
I keep waiting for this feeling to pass and think "you're just scarred from the last position" but I really don't know if that's the case and if I'll just wake up one day thinking "OK, I finally feel good about my job/work again!" I just want to feel differently than I do now and am not sure that I ever will or can.
If you got this far, thank you!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feelings about work - Long
You are earning decent money, are the bread winner, are providing health insurance to your family, and have a job that you don't hate, and you are not mistreated...
I get the lack of social connection that you are feeling. But maybe it is time to adjust your expectations to your company's culture.
I get the lack of passion you feel about your job but its schedule allow you time to be with your family.
Life is a series of trade offs. Sometimes we suck it up and make do.
It looks as though your previous job history has been 4 months, 1.5 years, 5 years? If you really are miserable and don't know if the DH thing will pan out then I wouldn't put our feelers for a new job until you've reached the 1 year point in your current job. Also, since it isn't a horrible job you need to be REALLY picky about moving on.
In the meantime you need to really start thinking about what is making you unhappy. If it's the work, try and figure how you can expand into work you do like. If it's the comradely, you need to accept that you may not have it with any job. If you just want a total change, then start making steps to get to where you want to go knowing you'll have to be patient.
I also mentored a college student this year, so we met once a month at lunch and I got to work on my leadership skills. It was a really cool program that was a low time commitment. Maybe some kind of volunteer work like that to boost up your spirits?