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January 2014 Moms
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Stress Stress with a side of Stress

firsttimemom143firsttimemom143 member
in January 2014 Moms

Anyone else super stressed since returning to work? The first week was OK now it is getting much more difficult! I have a mentally-stressful job..then I come home, feed LO, cook, and try to clean something. DH works alot of overtime, so he is tired when he comes home as well. When LO cries, he just leaves her there saying that its OK if she cries and that were spoiling her by picking her up all the time. She is only 3 1/2 months old. I feel like its still too young. Plus, she just keeps screaming and it escalated to this blood-curdling scream. So overall I have zero time to clean or anything and normally I am holding her while I cook. My stress has gotten to my husband and now all we do is fight. Unless he wants ST then he is super sweet. LO has also been feeding poorly and I think it may be because she can sesnse all the stress? His mother noticed the tension between us and spoke with him and recommended I quit my job for at least the first year. Financially, we can do it, we just need to cut back on certain things. But DH wont have it, he feels I just want to be a SAHM and lie on the couch all day. I want to slap him!! He should know how it is...he watched LO once all day and was extremely stressed out by the end of the day....

I get so nervouse that we are going to one day end in divorce.

Not really asking anything in this post..mainly just a ven.t. Thanks for listening :)

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Re: Stress Stress with a side of Stress

  • firsttimemom143firsttimemom143 member

    Also forgot to mention, babysitter watching LO M-W has decided that she cant handle LO with her other kids and is giving us a month notice. And LO had blood in her diaper yesterday as well which adds to the stress. :( I need some vino.

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  • peanutmusepeanutmuse member
    First of all, your husband sounds like a jerk. It sounds like you defer to him for all major decisions. You have the right to be part of the decision making, especially regarding the raising of your child. If she's doing a blood-curdling scream, she needs something. You definitely need to pick her up. He's a douche bag for wanting you to leave her there. And he's an even bigger douche bag for only being nice to you when he wants sex. W.T.F.

    Second, why the hell is your MIL "speaking with him" about your relationship? Even though it sounds like she has your best interests in mind, it's still overstepping boundaries.
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  • JackapatamusJackapatamus member
    Hugs momma! Work on the important things first- call the dr. About the blood in the diaper. It's usually a milk protein intolerance or an anal fissure. The dr. Can usually see a fissure, or dx a milk issue. - I worked for a year and a half before quitting my job and staying home- and I remember how stressful it is! The good news is soon, your lo will play and entertain herself better soon- the exersaucer was my life saver! It sounds like you and dh need a good sitting down and talking about how life has changed and how you guys are going to deal with the changes. Try to remember that you are a team! And try to focus on that!
    Try and tackle (cleaning wise) small manageable tasks after work- and maybe one other task- like dusting on Mondays- and leave the bigger stuff for the weekend or when you dh can take her for a walk or something??. And I would definitely open a bottle of wine! Hope it gets better soon !
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  • sugarland726sugarland726 member
    Your husband sounds like a dick. He needs to do more for the house and the family. You are right, LO is too young for CIO. Tell him he is wrong and he needs to step up his parenting game. And about the laying on the couch all day? He is not only wrong, but highly insulting to the moms staying at home every day. God, what an asshole!

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  • bethughkneebethughknee member
    Gilmore09 said:
    peanutmuse said:
    First of all, your husband sounds like a jerk. It sounds like you defer to him for all major decisions. You have the right to be part of the decision making, especially regarding the raising of your child. If she's doing a blood-curdling scream, she needs something. You definitely need to pick her up. He's a douche bag for wanting you to leave her there. And he's an even bigger douche bag for only being nice to you when he wants sex. W.T.F.

    Second, why the hell is your MIL "speaking with him" about your relationship? Even though it sounds like she has your best interests in mind, it's still overstepping boundaries.
    All of this and sorry your husband is being a jerk. That's all I've got because posts about unsupportive and jerky husbands make me want to word vomit.
    Triple ditto. Nothing will get better unless he helps out more in the evenings and also realizes that your LO is not being "unspoiled" by you not responding to her when she angry cries. She's learning that the ONLY communication method she has in her arsenal at the moment is useless. Does he want to teach her that? It's okay if babies need to be held. Who on earth wouldn't want a baby to feel comfort?

    I'm digressing. He needs a kick in the ass in more than one way.


    Married: 9.22.12 - DD: 1.7.14 - EDD 2: 10.30.17 - J14 OG
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  • cnctfcnctf member
    Agree with everything PP has said. Im sorry that YH is being unhelpful and a moron about you SAH and what that really means. Ive been back to work for a month, but my mom lives with us so shes a huge help. She pretty much does the cooking and gives us a break. Without her, we would probably loose our minds. I really hope you can sit down and talk to YH, and get him to see that SAH is not easy. at. all. I think most men just dont get it. Good luck. 
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  • firsttimemom143firsttimemom143 member
    peanutmuse said:
    First of all, your husband sounds like a jerk. It sounds like you defer to him for all major decisions. You have the right to be part of the decision making, especially regarding the raising of your child. If she's doing a blood-curdling scream, she needs something. You definitely need to pick her up. He's a douche bag for wanting you to leave her there. And he's an even bigger douche bag for only being nice to you when he wants sex. W.T.F.

    Second, why the hell is your MIL "speaking with him" about your relationship? Even though it sounds like she has your best interests in mind, it's still overstepping boundaries.
    I agree with eeeeverything you said. He is being a total douche which is why we keep fighting. My MIL has no boundaries and she drives me insane...Ive talked to her before about overstepping boundaries (especially when it comes to caring for DD because she watches her 2 days/week) but she seems to listen but doesnt care, she still does whatever she wants. It drives me nuts and if I do quit my job or get a weekend-only job, she will no longer need to watch DD
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  • firsttimemom143firsttimemom143 member
    Thanks everyone! We are going to sit and talk over everything including finances this week. We may even be able to qualify for WIC if I SAH. We will see...Ill keep you updated!
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