First Day of Day Care Today

Toni79 · April 2014

So after all the excitement with Easter was over ... today was DD's first day of day care. I'll be honest ... I'm a wreck. I've been crying since I left her almost 2 hours ago. Thankgoodness I am working from home today and can just cry with a box of tissues next to me!

Leaving her while I go to work is nothing new. She's been going to my cousin's house for the last year. But today was soooo much harder than I imagined. We've done alot to prep her for "school". We've taken her over to school to play with her friends and her teacher several (8)times over the last two weeks. We went to the library and got out a few books about school. She's been loving reading "Spot goes to shcool" and "Maisy goes to Preshool". We've been talking to DD about "Mommy going to work and DD going to school". We've had a "bye-bye routine" in place for some time. When we talk about school she says "play" and "friends". We've been keeping it really positive for her. Even though I've been very anxious about it.

When we get there this morning, she's clinging to my leg. No big deal. She'll warm up. We hang up her jacket and put her stuff in her cubby. I spoke with her teacher for a few minutes making sure we've brought everything we were supposed to, etc. While we're talking DD comes over and says "up". I lean down and reassure her, rub her back for a second, and say I'm talking to Mrs. L. But did not pick her up, for fear I wouldn't be able to put her down. Then DD says "side", which is what she calls nursing. We nursed for 20 minutes before leaving the house. We're down to morning, after work, and bedtime sessions, and are working on cutting out the after work session. So when she asked for "side", I knew she was wanting comfort. So I quickly reassured her again without acknowledging that she asked for "side".

She started playing with some legos, so I knew she was warming up. The teacher tells me I can call anytime, and of course that's when I start to get teary eyes. The teacher reassures me, and I say I just don't want DD to see me upset. I compose myself, and squat down. I say to DD mommy's going to work and she immediatly latches onto me again and starts crying. I think to myslef, don't prolong this. I say give me hugs (and I give her a gig hug), and give me kisses (as I give her a big kiss). Then I say "see you later aligator". She's screaming. As I stand up, she latches to my leg. How am I supposed to turn around and walk out with her attached to me? The teacher helps unlach her up and I walk out the door without looking back. I know that is what you are supposed to do. Just make a run for it and not prolong the good bye. But it doesn't feel like the right thing to do. :-(

I stood in the hall way for a few minutes. I wanted to hear her stop crying. The lady that works in the kitchen came out and comforted me. DD was no longer crying. I didn't want to look in becasue I didn't want DD to see me. But the women told me that the teacher was holding her. She must have picked her up when she unlatched her from my leg. I have no idea since I was trying not to look. After I composed myself, I walked out to my car, trying so hard not to make eye contact with other parents. All I wanted was to get to my car before I started crying, but it was too late for that!

Sorry this is so long. I just needed to get this off my chest! I am a wreck, and am feeling ALOT of working mom guilt today.

Toni79 · April 2014

Thanks @annieluvsjordan. I know it will get esier. I plan to call when she's napping just to see how the morning went. I don't want to be that crazy parent, but I just need to hear that everything is going well!

I forgot to mention in my origional post. To make matters worse, I had to drop her off this morning with a pretty good shinner! Yesterday DD was sitting on the bottom step of our patio. For some crazy reason she decided to lean forward and fell. She only fell a few inches but she landed head first on the patio. She skinned her forehead pretty good. I was able to calm her quickly, so I know she was ok. But its our first injury involving blood! And the scrapes and bruses on her face are "good". Of course! Perfect for her first day of school! So there is also that "please don't think I'm a bad parent" fear I have when the teachers and other parents see her ... I know, I care way too much about what people think of me!

Jeffreysmom24 · April 2014

I think you did great!! I would have had a really hard time too - it is still hard for me to leave for work in the morning! It sounds like her teacher is great!

twinkletoes3126 · April 2014

It sounds like you did great! As someone who worked in daycare for many years, it was probably much harder on you than her. Once she's comfortable, she will have a blast.

Toni79 · April 2014

Thanks @Jeffreysmom24 - Even after a year of DD going to my cousin's, I'd still cry once I got into my car at least one a week! I guess I'm one of "those" over emotional mamas!

Toni79 · April 2014

Thanks @LaurenAnthony2009. Everyone says its harder on the you than on the kid. And I really hope that is true. And I hope she does have a blast!

Reilly626 · April 2014

It was my hardest time ever- my mind kept saying you are awful leaving them. I made myself sick. I think you prepped her well and really it's a great age to socialize. My kids love school/care now! You will feel better soon.. Hang in there!

exc1tedforbaby1 · April 2014

It's very different leaving at daycare vs a family members house. I cried the first day- he was fine. Which only made me cry harder. And I think it's perfectly acceptable to call and check. I did the first day.

binklesss · April 2014

So sorry you had a hard day.

I hope today goes better!

Toni79 · April 2014

Thanks for all the support!

@Reilly625 - I totally understand making yourself sick. Yesterday was really hard. I was histerical on several occasions. I couldn't eat. By the end of the day I had cried so much I was dehydrated and my head hurt so much. I was emotionally drainned!

@excitedforababy1 - YES! Family versus DC is so differant. At my cousin's house, it was one-on-one care all day while my cousin'd kids were at school. There's a lot going on at the center. I just hope that it's not over stimulating or too much excitement.

Day 1 follow-up

I called when I knew the kids were napping, and the teacher confirmed what I overheard when I waited in the hall in the morning - she cried for less than a minute, was held by the teacher for a few minutes, and then got down and played, and was happy. She ate decently. She was a little cranky before nap but was happy to go down for her nap without any issues (only reminding/asking the teacher for her baby - awww!). When I came in the afternoon, I spoke to the afternoon teacher, and she said pretty much the same things. DD was happy to see me, but did that typical thing where they get upset when they see you ... "Oh my god mommy, I totally forgot how much I missed you until literally RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!".

I was trying to talk to the teacher, but DD kept saying "car, go, car, go" and then "side, side, side" (i.e. nurse). I said let's wait until we get home and then we'll do side. We made it to the car before she was practically begging me to BF, so we sat in the back seat of the car for 20 mins BFing. (When we toured, I asked, and the director told me I could BF in the nursery if I wanted. I didn't want to show DD that we can go in there and BF, because then I'm afraid she'll want to go into the nursery every day when I pick her up. I pick her up very close to closing time, so I'd like to avoid being in there when they are trying to close down).

Day 2

Getting her out of the house this morning was the worst. She absolutly refused to help me get her ready. We used to have a routine in the morning. But the last 3 weeks, with DH, me, grandma, and nana takign turns watching her, the routine has gone out the window! Kicking, screaming, etc. I'm not sure where this is coming from (I'll save that for another post). We need to re-establish our "get out the door" routine!

So I thought drop off was going to be hard ... But ... Drop off this morning went sooo much better. She was still a little shy/reluctant. I spoke with the teacher for a few minutes. The teacher reiterated how well behaved she was yesterday and how she's a good role model for the other kids! DD tends to be really well behaved for other people (but not for me and daddy). When it was time to go, I gave her hug, kisses, and then she went with the teacher to look out the window (yeh! distraction). I said "see ya later aligator", and she sort of gave me a half wave / blow kisses, without even turing around to even look at me! Perfect! She acknowldged I was leaving, but was just distracted enough to not get upset! This was how I was hoping yesterday would go!

I'll probably still call again today ... just for my own well being!

nicnac817 · April 2014

We are on week 2 of school and I call everyday to check on her. How did she behave, did she eat, is she sleeping.... Its always a good report. I think it's always more traumatizing for us because we imagine that they are crying for us all day. ( At least that's how I feel sometimes ) I have noticed that she gives me a hard time when I leave unless her teacher holds her.

Someday they'll run into school without holding our hands, waving goodbye with their backs to us, happy as can be. We'll still get emotional because they're are our babies and that's our job.

Enjoy the pickup time.. it's the best. Be strong mama!

AmySmolos · April 2014

I hate working mom guilt. DS still cries and reaches for me some days and it sucks. I feel better knowing he has a good time there. Give yourself some grace and your dd extra snuggles:)

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