Ultrasound update

O2girl · April 2014

I had my follow up ultrasound today. The embryo that had the slow hr is still in there but it's little heart has stopped beating. The embryo with the hr of 108 now has a hr of 116... Not quite the average increase in rate daily? but the rate is going up so my RE says that is a positive thing. My blood clots have dissolved so the lovenox and aspirin are working.

We discussed and decided to do the cell-free fetal DNA blood work at 10 weeks; so this will be another hurdle to cross but fingers are crossed that this little bugger is ok.

Not sure how to feel about the embryo that is deceased. Considering that my RE said that it probably wasn't chromosomally normal I should feel relief.... But I'm still sad. It is difficult and feels wrong to be happy that one is doing ok while one had to die. I guess I have plenty to discuss with my infertility psychologist on Monday... Hopefully she can put things into perspective for me.

All in all I guess this was a good appointment.

overwhelmed29 · April 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. It's such a bittersweet situation for you. I have been thinking so much about you and your little babies. Take your time to grieve but know that you gave that embie a fighting chance and there was nothing you could do to prevent that from happening.
This is supposed to be such a wonderful time but IF just sucks the happiness away. I'm glad to hear that your little ninja is still holding on and that the heart rate increased.

Mrs.McIrish · April 2014

I'm so sorry about Baby2. Of course you are sad! Glad baby1 is doing better. Sending T&Ps.

katekat8721 · April 2014

(((Hugs)))

kz's_girlygirl · April 2014

I am so so sorry you are going through this loss. Be gentle with yourself. It is perfectly ok to grieve the life that has been lost, as it is to be joyful for the little heart still beating. Happiness tempered by grief is a difficult thing, but both are expressions of love for those lives, no matter how short or long.

I am thinking of you and sending lots of positive and healing thoughts your way

twistsandturnsto2 · April 2014

(((Hugs))) sorry for your loss of one embryo but fx your little fighter hangs on!

LSN8308 · April 2014

So sorry to hear about baby#2. It's so hard to balance the happiness and pain without feeling guilty and/or ungrateful at the same time especially with IF. Its ok to be sad.

I am so happy that the meds are working and your LO is strong and T&P that he/she continues to grow healthy.

ekc0630 · April 2014

So sorry about baby #2. Prayers baby #1 keeps growing strong.

Cutiecruz327 · April 2014

Hugs to you.

frenchy6 · April 2014

Sending you my prayers! So sorry for your loss but glad that baby 2 is hanging on strong

ajlmom · April 2014

Sorry to hear ((hugs)).....glad that the other bean's HR went up. Hope he/she will continue to be strong and healthy

rox825 · April 2014

I'm sorry for the loss, I'm sure it's bittersweet to know that the other baby is still doing ok. Hope he or she gets stronger and hangs on!

marnief · April 2014

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry about your loss, I can't imagine what you are feeling. Best wishes to you and the baby who's growing - praying for a completely uneventfully happy and healthy 9 months (well, I guess 7 1/2 or so now)!

lincoln79 · April 2014

I am so sorry for your loss and sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Ihope · April 2014

T and P the rest of your pregnancy goes smoother

sandollar1010 · April 2014

Big hugs!! I can't imagine the mix of emotions you are feeling right now. I am so sorry to hear about baby 2. I'm glad baby #1 is a fighter and things are moving in the right direction. I'll continue to think of you.

pcrumley · April 2014

sorry for your loss, i hope your little one gets stronger every day

thinking of you ((hugggss))

LilSip0611 · April 2014

I was thinking of you this weekend! I'm so sorry for your loss but very glad the other baby is getting stronger. Sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers!

Praying4Miracle17 · April 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss...as you can see in my siggy, I just experienced the same thing a little more than a week ago. It's so hard with mixed emotions b/c you should grieve for the one you lost, but also be happy for the one that is still there. I struggled with that and it honestly makes every next appt so scary, but hang in there! Praying for the other bean that it continues to do well. Hugs...

Lizarella82 · April 2014

Been thinking of you and your family all weekend- I can't imagine how hard it must be to hold those two emotions in your heart at the same time; just know that you did all you could to give them the best shot possible. I hope your therapist can help. Big hugs and healing thoughts to you all.

orange1414 · April 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your other little bean keeps on thriving!

xtina78 · April 2014

So sorry for your loss. Lots of positive thoughts to you and your family.

Lm92599 · April 2014

so sorry for your loss, I am glad to hear the other one is fighting through. Positive thoughts for you always girl. xo

Deardra77 · April 2014

So sorry to hear, though about you guys over the weekend. I lost a twin too in my first pregnancy. It really messes with you mind as there is relief & happiness for the surviving baby & sadness & loss for the baby that didn't make it. Glad they are able to get the blood work done at 10 weeks, mine was delayed to 17 weeks to get answers due to the twin loss, that was very hard as it was so long waiting. Good you will be able to get reassurance at a date that is kinda soon. Awesome you are seeing someone to talk through the emotions. I didn't & it all hit me like a ton of bricks when we gave birth. Not good. Try to work through everything now, it's ok to be sad & morn the loss while still being happy at being pregnant. Hugs, it is all so so hard but you will pull through! >:D<

healz413 · April 2014

I thought I wrote on this thread already but I scrolled back and see that I haven't.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you're able to see someone to talk through this.

All of your feelings are valid, even when they feel completely contradictory.

I'm really pulling for your remaining baby. I hope your next appointment shows a super strong heart rate.

FutureMrsW9 · April 2014

Definitely a bittersweet situation for you, but I'm so happy that your one baby is a rockstar and seems to be doing better and improving even if slowly! I'm so sorry for your one loss, but still sending lots of T&P that your other little embryo keeps chuggin!

TaylorH84 · April 2014

I'm so sorry about baby#2. I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with the conflicting emotions. I hope the psychologists brings some clarity with everything. Praying baby#1 continues to grow and you get some good results! I'm thinking about you and rooting for you and baby!! ....siggy warning...

Allison7 · April 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. (((Hugs))). I know that those early losses are hard. I think it is so great that you are seeing a professional who can help you with the range of emotions you must be feeling. Be strong for your little fighter and you have my T&Ps.

CameraBug131 · April 2014

I'm sorry you are going through this. IF never quits. Even when we get pregnant we can't enjoy it because we are worried all the time.

When is your next ultrasound?

O2girl · April 2014

Deardra77 said:
Glad they are able to get the blood work done at 10 weeks, mine was delayed to 17 weeks to get answers due to the twin loss,>:D<

My RE didn't mention anything about the loss of the twin causing inaccurate results.... But after I read what you said I googled the heck out of my situation. I did read that the remenants of the lost twin had to be gone before the test could be considered accurate.

When you had to wait was it due to retained tissue? How was the timeframe determined?

O2girl · April 2014

@CameraBug131‌

My next u/s is on Friday.

Deardra77 · April 2014

O2girl said:

Deardra77 said:
Glad they are able to get the blood work done at 10 weeks, mine was delayed to 17 weeks to get answers due to the twin loss,>:D<

My RE didn't mention anything about the loss of the twin causing inaccurate results.... But after I read what you said I googled the heck out of my situation. I did read that the remenants of the lost twin had to be gone before the test could be considered accurate.

When you had to wait was it due to retained tissue? How was the timeframe determined?

Crap it not trying to freak u out. I'm sorry!!!!! They have a million and one different tests, mine was October 2012 and already for this pregnancy they have developed new tests. The one I did last time around was a state of CA testing where they do a blood test in late first tri, a skin fold on the back of the neck ultrasound and a blood test in 2nd tri. They need 2 data points to draw conclusions and I couldn't do the first blood draw due to the loss. Their cut off was no heartbeat by 8 weeks to be allowed to do the 2nd 2 parts of the test. So had to wait to do the ultrasound plus the 2nd blood draw. This pregnancy they have developed way more accurate test that is just one blood draw that they can do at 10 weeks, tests for more conditions and it's a once off. So don't stress about the test they have assigned for you. There are many different types. They know your history and will assign a test accordingly. There are lots of different types. Sorry for freaking u out, not my intent and I feel like a dick now :-(

O2girl · April 2014

@Deardra77‌

Oh heavens no please don't feel like a dick!!! Lol I already had myself stressed out about the test after I spent the whole day Sunday googling stats! The only thing you did was give me a very reasonable question to ask my RE. I like to cover all the bases so the vanishing twin was actually a legitimate concern.

Honestly, the way my brain works I feel that even with the NT scan being neg, the blood work being neg, I will still opt for an amnio...... And even after that I will still not be happy until I see my LO for myself.... Then enter the worry for the rest of my life. Notice a trend? I'm a worry wart. Truth be told...... I have already played out all the worst case scenarios.

Please, please, please don't even feel bad! I'm a hot mess. I found your info very important!
Xo

marnief · April 2014

Hugs to you, @O2girl! And we are all hot messes here...

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