belated apology to @RenonUthZhakrin

sisterjanet · April 2014

(Does it link if the @ is in the subject? @RenonUthZhakrin, this one's for you.)

About four months ago, you called one of our (hopefully former any minute now) mods out when she was venting about gifts from her in-laws. The mod was saying questionable things, and you pointed that out at great length, and stood by your position.

We've been shown in a really horrible way how right you were when you called her out. I get the impression we do jump harder on new people than we do on people we feel acquainted with. It's human nature, but it doesn't make it right. I'm sorry we treated you so unequally.

Kaylee524 · April 2014

@RenonUthZhakrin I'm going to jump onto this apology thread as well. I was new too when that thread was posted and didn't have the courage to put my 2 cents in. I'm sorry for leaving you out to dry and not speaking up.

awc1986 · April 2014

I wasn't involved in the thread, but as an M14 mama, I want to apologise as I find the thread embarrassing. The OP did come across as an entitled bitch and those who supported her should feel bad about it.

Wishing you well in your pregnancy.

missyishere · April 2014

chest boner!

Miles2Go · April 2014

Meh. I'm over it and she'll never see it. I apologize when I feel it's owed, not when I'm told to. If she were still hanging out here, I probably would have via pm a long time ago. But she bounced for the greener grasses of baby center. I highly doubt one TB flaming from months ago has had any real effect on her life or psyche.

If that makes me an insufferable bitch, well, so be it.

Miles2Go · April 2014

Cool. @RenonUthZhakrin‌ - Sup.

sisterjanet · April 2014

I wrote this separate apology thread because I just wanted to separate this part from that part. "That part" where Erbear is a definite bad guy and we know that now, and where we feel so many things for the loss mom and wish her peace and all good things. "This part" where we acknowledge that we did a wrong too from a very misguided sense of community, back when we thought Erbear was a friend.

I just really hope the loss mom feels the love and support she was meant to feel from the donations that were mishandled. That's my big point.

amroke · April 2014

Miles2Go said:
I highly doubt one TB flaming from months ago has had any real effect on her life or psyche.

Not the point.

Bluebird2318 · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

Meh. I'm over it and she'll never see it. I apologize when I feel it's owed, not when I'm told to. If she were still hanging out here, I probably would have via pm a long time ago. But she bounced for the greener grasses of baby center. I highly doubt one TB flaming from months ago has had any real effect on her life or psyche. If that makes me an insufferable bitch, well, so be it.

MrsBadKat said:

Actually, she just lurked here yesterday @miles2go

Miles2Go said:

Cool. @RenonUthZhakrin‌ - Sup.

So I take it at this point your resistance to apology means you don't feel that it's owed? Pride isn't always a good look.

missyishere · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

Cool. @RenonUthZhakrin‌ - Sup.

I feel this is the most appropriate time for this gif:

Miles2Go · April 2014

I feel she is not owed an apology by me personally, and that I cannot speak for those who perhaps do owe her an apology. I'm not interested in being disingenuous. And as I said earlier, if I felt I owed her one, I would likely do it via pm.

RedInLove · April 2014

We thought we had a tight group here, we're all a bit shell shocked over this right now. If we only really knew, even with Renon's comments we could never have seen this coming.

SpanFran · April 2014

Wasn't the point of that whole callout thread to shame Voldemod into apologizing?

Yes, you are an insufferable bitch.

missyishere · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

I feel she is not owed an apology by me personally, and that I cannot speak for those who perhaps do owe her an apology. I'm not interested in being disingenuous. And as I said earlier, if I felt I owed her one, I would likely do it via pm.

Bless your heart.

spacepotatoes · April 2014

SpanFran said:

Wasn't the point of that whole callout thread to shame Voldemod into apologizing?

Yes, you are an insufferable bitch.

No. She had plenty of opportunities to do that leading up to this and didn't take any of them. We knew that wasn't happening. The point was to remove her as mod of this board and let others know exactly why.

missyishere · April 2014

The tank is getting low, but the station isn't far away.

Bluebird2318 · April 2014

MrsBadKat said:

Miles2Go said:
You guys, look how cute. Newbie's trying to flame the mod. Awwww.

Miles2Go said:
Who thinks whatserfacecan'taffordacrib thought that she'd get everyone to love her post and all of the sudden everyone would love her? Me. I think that.
I do too. And I think she thought we'd all board the flame train and she was just hopping on first. Note to the lurkers and newbies just joining in: context is your friend.

yvanehtnioj · April 2014

I re-read the glider thread yesterday and rolled my eyes again, perhaps a little harder this time. That was after the [first! best! most exclusive!] Facebook group was formed, and it was kind of shitty around here for awhile.

Thanks @sisterjanet‌, you are good people.

celticbiohazard · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

I feel she is not owed an apology by me personally, and that I cannot speak for those who perhaps do owe her an apology. I'm not interested in being disingenuous. And as I said earlier, if I felt I owed her one, I would likely do it via pm.

"I only apologize privately. But I did want to publicly state, again and again, how NOT sorry I am. Just so y'all know. I'm not sorry. This shit is so important I need to state it in multiple threads, including someone else's apology thread, that I could probably have just ignored. Are you writing this down? Because I'm not sorry. Are you listening?? I'M NOT SORRY."

It'll be interesting to see what happens in May 2018 when your baby emotionally outgrows you.

To save you some time: Who the hell am I? June 2014 mom: came to digest the horror of your shit mod's actions, stayed for the continued entertainment of NOT APOLOGIZING, which a few of you seem to be really swell at.

awc1986 · April 2014

@Miles2Go‌ - come on, work with us here. I get if you're not sorry, but can you at least not make us all on M14 look like cunts? Please.

Miles2Go · April 2014

awc1986 said:
@Miles2Go‌ - come on, work with us here. I get if you're not sorry, but can you at least not make us all on M14 look like cunts? Please.

Surely-

Dear parenting and all other lurkers and/or invested parties,

I am the sole cunt on M14.

Yours truly,

Cunty McCunterson.

missyishere · April 2014

Do you at least feel sorry for our children and husbands @milestogo?

momthatlifts · April 2014

She probably left shortly after that thread and I don't blame her. But at least it's here for her to see

Miles2Go · April 2014

missyishere said:
Do you at least feel sorry for our children and husbands @milestogo?

Of course, but only if you pinky promise to feel sorry for mine.

awc1986 · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

awc1986 said:
@Miles2Go‌ - come on, work with us here. I get if you're not sorry, but can you at least not make us all on M14 look like cunts? Please.
Surely-

Dear parenting and all other lurkers and/or invested parties,

I am the sole cunt on M14.

Yours truly,

Cunty McCunterson.

Fuck it. Do what you want.

Rest of the boards - we're not all cunts.

missyishere · April 2014

@kelseyandrobert are you stalking me?! (I'm not actually from that area code, but I visit there often)

Mittens14 · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

Meh. I'm over it and she'll never see it. I apologize when I feel it's owed, not when I'm told to. If she were still hanging out here, I probably would have via pm a long time ago. But she bounced for the greener grasses of baby center. I highly doubt one TB flaming from months ago has had any real effect on her life or psyche. If that makes me an insufferable bitch, well, so be it.

Yes, you are, but no, not only that makes you and insufferable bitch, mostly every comment from you shows what a bitch you are. But you're not alone, there's a handful of others on this board that are just as bad as you.

celticbiohazard · April 2014

Oh, and to actually contribute to this thread: Renon, I hope you do see this thread and feel a little better. I was one of the "poor scholarship kids" in an expensive private college, and it could really be so uncomfortable, and it truly hurt when others felt the need to judge me and my financial principles without knowing anything about me or where my parents came from. Even if nothing anyone said changed my mind (the "poor kid" will always be in my head, and even though I *can* afford it now I still feel weird about someone else, who can also afford it, spending $250 on our crib), being flamed and judged sucks.

Whatever your circumstances, you're having a baby, it sounds like you have some support and I hope you can continue to get the support you need. I genuinely, and not snidely, wish you good luck!

missyishere · April 2014

Miles2Go said:

Do you at least feel sorry for our children and husbands @milestogo?
Of course, but only if you pinky promise to feel sorry for mine.

I feel sorry you need to return and make yourself look more shitty. It's one thing to not apologize; it's a totally different game when you decide not to apologize and then be proud you're an asshole.

THD7580 · April 2014

Ok so I have lurked here for a while and never posted but have come to know who the regulars are on this board. I have to say I am so shocked and saddened how this board has fallen apart over the last day. I enjoyed reading everyone's stories and looked forward to seeing everyone's bumps on Wednesday but after all of this it's just sad. This board is supposed to be about support given and taken. It seems as if instead of sticking together and sticking to the point of erbears evil cunt ass and fixing what happened everyone is pointing fingers and such. You are all a bunch of awesome women and I hope to rid all of this evilness away.

83edwards · April 2014

Overkill much?

awc1986 said:

@Miles2Go‌ - come on, work with us here. I get if you're not sorry, but can you at least not make us all on M14 look like cunts? Please.

Trapped in quote box!

How, exactly, is @Miles2Go making an entire group of people look like anything. There were soooo many people involved in that thread....at least she is being honest about it.

Andplusalso, I think it is ridiculous that this is coming up now, after all this time. Why the hell does it matter so much?

@AWC1986 you are the only one that makes you look any way at all....but this post didn't make you look great

SweetTea420 · April 2014

I sympathized with ErBear because I am all too familiar with MIL cattiness/drama. I did not flame Renon, but looking back I should have defended her. I am sorry that I didn't because what was said to Renon in that thread was pretty low. Honestly, it is hard to speak up against the "popular" posters on this board because they won't let you live it down. What you said will get referenced in a later thread and it will get love titted by all the popular girls because it's an inside joke that they talk about on their FB group.

RedInLove · April 2014

MrsBadKat said:

RedInLove said:

We thought we had a tight group here, we're all a bit shell shocked over this right now. If we only really knew, even with Renon's comments we could never have seen this coming.

I had to remove my love tit because you edited out what was previously an apology. WTF, dude.

Because I wasn't sure it was sufficient. I'm still thinking, basically.

RedInLove · April 2014

I'm reading so much from several threads, so that tends to change what I want to say. I agree that Renon called it as she saw it. Most of us take our turns doing that, especially when it's a newb or someone that doesn't go here. Then we take our turns defending our regulars, because it's how things are done here. And by here, I don't mean just our BMB. All the boards have their groups and ways of doing things, it's just how it is.

If we could have known what was going to happen, you can bet every last dollar of that fund that we would have done it differently. Even with Renon's reply to the MIL thread, even if we all backed Renon then on ErBear's greedy attitude, I can't say it would have raised red flags that ErBear would have been a thief. The regulars knew her ongoing MIL issues, so taking one post out of everything we all knew and pointing at just that, well it just doesn't work that way and it wouldn't have necessarily caused us to choose someone else. She volunteered to do the purchasing because she had time to do it, and as a mod we did trust her.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I wish we all had it every day but we don't. The reasons Renon was jumped on in that old post were true to the board when it happened, right or wrong. Every board has their tempo, and I'm not going to delve into a discussion on whether each board is right or wrong for things being the way they are on that board. That's an impossible conversation that would never go anywhere productive.

An apology to Renon should have nothing to do with what happened now, but of course with that lovely hindsight we get to go back and see things that NOW make more sense. Either way, then or now, Renon was expressing her thoughts on what she read in the post. She wasn't wrong to do so. I am sorry Renon was trampled on, regardless of this particular outcome because I think the two really are otherwise unrelated; we could not have predicted from that one thread that this would happen.

pandadair · April 2014

SweetTea420 said:

I sympathized with ErBear because I am all too familiar with MIL cattiness/drama. I did not flame Renon, but looking back I should have defended her. I am sorry that I didn't because what was said to Renon in that thread was pretty low. Honestly, it is hard to speak up against the "popular" posters on this board because they won't let you live it down. What you said will get referenced in a later thread and it will get love titted by all the popular girls because it's an inside joke that they talk about on their FB group.

Ugh, I'm going to regret posting in any of these threads. But I'd just like to point out that it was some of us in the popular-girl-sheepish-inside-joke-having FB group that have spent the last few months attempting to get answers, placing calls, digging through dirt, and ultimately confronting the fuck out of ErBear to get to the bottom of this whole situation. My stomach was in my throat when I laid out everything I thought was going on, but I did it because we were too fucking pissed to not risk being wrong.

And before I get called out, too, yes I attempted MIL sympathizing with ErBear in that thread. Yes, I am an asshole.

ABColeslaw · April 2014

pandadair said:

SweetTea420 said:

I sympathized with ErBear because I am all too familiar with MIL cattiness/drama. I did not flame Renon, but looking back I should have defended her. I am sorry that I didn't because what was said to Renon in that thread was pretty low. Honestly, it is hard to speak up against the "popular" posters on this board because they won't let you live it down. What you said will get referenced in a later thread and it will get love titted by all the popular girls because it's an inside joke that they talk about on their FB group.

Ugh, I'm going to regret posting in any of these threads. But I'd just like to point out that it was some of us in the popular-girl-sheepish-inside-joke-having FB group that have spent the last few months attempting to get answers, placing calls, digging through dirt, and ultimately confronting the fuck out of ErBear to get to the bottom of this whole situation. My stomach was in my throat when I laid out everything I thought was going on, but I did it because we were too fucking pissed to not risk being wrong.

And before I get called out, too, yes I attempted MIL sympathizing with ErBear in that thread. Yes, I am an asshole.

Yes. I have tried pointing this out. Pandadair, I know it was very difficult doing all the leg work you did and I know you thought you were going to have to peace out of the group for brining it forward. Thank you for doing what was right.

Along a similar vein. I'm sorry for my part in this. No excuse. I'm not a perfect person and having been on the receiving end of serious bump flaming, I should have known better and acted differently.

pandadair · April 2014

ABColeslaw said:

pandadair said:

SweetTea420 said:

I sympathized with ErBear because I am all too familiar with MIL cattiness/drama. I did not flame Renon, but looking back I should have defended her. I am sorry that I didn't because what was said to Renon in that thread was pretty low. Honestly, it is hard to speak up against the "popular" posters on this board because they won't let you live it down. What you said will get referenced in a later thread and it will get love titted by all the popular girls because it's an inside joke that they talk about on their FB group.

Ugh, I'm going to regret posting in any of these threads. But I'd just like to point out that it was some of us in the popular-girl-sheepish-inside-joke-having FB group that have spent the last few months attempting to get answers, placing calls, digging through dirt, and ultimately confronting the fuck out of ErBear to get to the bottom of this whole situation. My stomach was in my throat when I laid out everything I thought was going on, but I did it because we were too fucking pissed to not risk being wrong.

And before I get called out, too, yes I attempted MIL sympathizing with ErBear in that thread. Yes, I am an asshole.

Yes. I have tried pointing this out. Pandadair, I know it was very difficult doing all the leg work you did and I know you thought you were going to have to peace out of the group for brining it forward. Thank you for doing what was right.
Along a similar vein. I'm sorry for my part in this. No excuse. I'm not a perfect person and having been on the receiving end of serious bump flaming, I should have known better and acted differently.

NorthernGal248 · April 2014

In that thread I didn't speak up to defend. I am sorry for that. I hope that when my daughter is in a situation like that she will be a bigger person than I was.

Mamazon2014 · April 2014

Having known the context of the MIL issues, I participated in the thread only to comment about that issue. I didnt address the comments to Ren because by the time I got there, both sides had seemed to be settled. That being said, I have tended to fall into the pack mentality of our board, and I'm sorry if I have said things that were undue.

I think when you have made the close friendships that we have, it's hard to step back and look at things from an outsider's perspective. Today gave me that opportunity and I do feel badly for my part in overzealous flamings and also for my silence when things do get out of hand.

That being said, I think we can all agree that for the most part, this board is very supportive of its members and the trials and tribulations we have all faced during our pregnancies. There are some absolutely amazing ladies in this group that I truly respect and have come to genuinely care about.

jfletcher3113 · April 2014

*furiously searching to find what the hell I missed*

ETA: Found it. Holy shit, is this real life? A miserable person with a ton of fucked up karma heading her way. This apology is a nice sentiment, I think.

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belated apology to @RenonUthZhakrin

Re: belated apology to @RenonUthZhakrin

That One Gal From Alaska

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