does baby name regret wear off? — The Bump
Baby Names

does baby name regret wear off?

Maybe this is just the postpartum hormones talking, but I just can't get over the idea that we gave our LO the wrong name. It's a perfectly inoffensive name (Margaret) but every time I look at her, I think we got it wrong. She just doesn't look like a Margaret to me and I don't like the name (or its most common nicknames). It took me a little while to get used to my first daughter's name (it's Rose, but I just called her "Little Bundle" for the first 3 months of her life, I think), but now I think her name is perfect for her. I'm assuming I'll start to like DD2's name one day too ... but it's really bugging me right now. Anyone else feel this way? 


Re: does baby name regret wear off?

  • I have a friend who said it took about a year before she really liked her daughters name on her, I'm sure it's not that uncommon.  DS1 I never doubted his name, DS2 was such a difficult baby that his name was the farthest thing from my mind and if this one is a boy it might never get a name...lol
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  • I think this is pretty common.

    It took me a while to even get used to the idea that DD was mine, let alone me wrap my brain around her name.  She has sort of a "big" name for a little girl so it seemed extra strange.

    Give it time, and FWIW, Margaret is gorgeous.

     

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  • Definitely will be ok. We named DS after my dad and had that decided before he was born then when he was here I suddenly freaked out that I should of thought of other names. Now it totally fits him. FWIW if I had a little Margaret id totally call her Daisy!!!
  • I didn't so much have regret, but I thought Blake was such a big name for DS when he was first born. It just didn't seem to fit. But a couple weeks later it seemed to be just right. He is def a little Blake now!! 
  • I felt the same way about my sons name Levi he will be two in July and now I'm starting to like it.....I did like how his full name flowed though but I knew no 1 would call him that, Levi Joseph
  • Totally normal! I literally cried when I came home because I thought we named her the wrong name.

    background: we were going back and forth between Clementine and Penny for the first 12 hours and eventually went with Penny.

    She's 10 months old and I am just now happy with her name. It's perfect for her.
  • Ps. Margaret is a gorgeous name - and I am obsessed with the nn Daisy if that's something you're thinking of.
  • My best friend's mom decided when my friend was 6 months old to have her name legally changed because she just wasn't happy with it.  Whenever people used it she'd say "Don't call her that".  So, now she's a Jennifer. That's probably pretty extreme, but figured I'd share.
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  • OP, thanks for posting, this makes me feel better because I feel less alone in my feeling my DDs name doesn't sit well with me. It's not regret or dislike, it just feels awkward somehow when I use it. It just doesn't seem to fit her or me or something - it's probably tied to the ongoing disbelief I'm actually a mother!

    Anyway, I primarily refer to her as Little Girl or Boo (my husband calls her Boo Boo, that's a bit too much for me). She basically only hears her name at day care cause her teachers use it. It'd probably feel more comfortable if I'd just start using it!
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  • My best friend's mom decided when my friend was 6 months old to have her name legally changed because she just wasn't happy with it.  Whenever people used it she'd say "Don't call her that".  So, now she's a Jennifer. That's probably pretty extreme, but figured I'd share.
    I'm really curious what the original name was...

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  • When my LO was born it honestly was hard to call the tiny pink bundle of joy I had "Paige". To me it didn't suit a baby. Over time, like months, I got over it and it totally fits her now.
  • novilisenovilise
    100 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its
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    edited April 2014
    My mom found out when she was older that her name, Jill Susan, might not be her official name. haha! Her original birth certificate said "Jin Winifred Cora". We have no idea whether it was a mistake and they changed it, but this one survived or if they just decided later to call her Jill Susan instead. (Her mom was a bit of a free spirit like that.) Winifred Cora was for her two grandmothers, so we could understand that and she had heard that they had 'thought' about using those but the grandmothers fought over which would be first. But 'Jin' really through us for a loop! However, her older sister's name is Janice (Jan) so maybe they thought at first that they wanted them to be Jan and Jin. Who knows now! She had it legally changed, though, to Jill Susan.
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  • Naming my DD was super easy. Once we found out we were having a girl, we knew we wanted to call her Sophie. It just felt right and who she was right from the beginning.

    Naming DS was harder. Ethan wasn't really even on my list, DH threw it on the list toward the end and I didn't really think we'd end up picking it. We had a difficult birth with him (emergency c-section, and then they ran him right to NICU) so by the time I actually saw him DH said "I think he looks like an Ethan, don't you?" I agreed. It took awhile to sink in though. Now when I look at him, I can't imagine him with any of the other names we considered. He's an Ethan for sure.
    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


  • I can't offer advice on name regret but fwiw Rose and Margaret make the loveliest subset I've heard in awhile.
    brooksidebridemkblandNerdyLucy[Deleted User]
  • Play round with some nicknames or pet names. When DD was brand new we mostly called her "little one" or "baby love". 
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  • BethPSUBethPSU
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Photogenic
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    edited April 2014
    I felt this way with my second son and my daughter. DS#1 was named after my dad and it suited him pretty quickly. I feel like it took me the longest to get used to DD's name. DH was more sure of her name when we picked it.
  • I'm glad I read this. My DD is almost. 3 months today and while I think her name is nice, I just don't like it on her. We took a list of 3 to the hospital and agreed to one right after she was born.

    The name we agreed to happened to be H's favorite and my least favorite. He asked within minutes of her birth if we could name her that and wasted no time telling everyone that was her name when I agreed. I immediately regretted it but I had more important things to focus on like my new tiny baby. I regret that now. I wish would have said hey I really don't like this lets change it.

    But I won't legally change it now. I just really hope like everyone else has said that I will eventually like it. I've even lied to people that I don't interact with often or strangers about her name (I use her middle name instead) because I hate her name so much.

    I really hope you do grow to like her name because this feeling stinks. FWIW, Margaret is a great name especially paired with Rose.
  • I had a bit with my son. His name, Connor, was not my favorite boy name. Probably not in the top 5 even. But my husband absolutely adored it and couldn't let it go. With our daughter (baby #1), he had not put up an ounce of opposition to the name I had always wanted to use on a little girl (Katherine - Kate) so I felt like being stubborn about Connor was a little hypocritical.

    Now that he is 3 and a half, it is absolutely the perfect name for him and I have grown to really love his name. I'm happy DH got to feel like he got what he wanted and have no regrets whatsoever.

    One of my concerns about Connor was that it would be too popular. That has been unfounded and actually it is my daughter who tends to be one of many Kates (or Katie, Caitlin, etc). So you just never know how it is going to pan out.

    I really like Margaret! It is a very "big" name - very mature and dignified - so I can see how an itsy bitsy newborn would have trouble shouldering it. But for life, it's a wonderful name :).

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  • L0L0L0L0
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
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    My LO is Margaret, too, and I also felt like it was too much name for a tiny baby. One thing I love about the name is that it has SO many nickname options. Ours goes by Maisy 100%, and it really suits her. Consider trying out Maggie, Margo, Meg, peg, Greta, Gretchen, daisy, initials, middle name, etc. I even know a little Garet. Jenna Bush uses Mila for her Margaret. You may find a nn that fits great, and just use Margaret for formal stuff and for her to have options later.
  • Thanks so much for all of the advice ... I really appreciate everyone taking the time to comment and lend some support/share your stories. Jennifer2008, thanks so much for that email. I have toyed with the idea of changing it, but can't imagine bringing myself to actually do it. DH likes the name and it's a family name, so I think it's going to stay. I've been calling her Mimi because that's what her sister called my tummy bump (no idea where she got that name). I'm sure something will click once she gets a little older, as many of you have suggested. 
  • Margaret is beautiful and classic. She'll grow into it. It sounds great with Rose too. Give it some time. :)
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  • @lauralew @rentaduckie Original name was Katie! Nothing crazy, but apparently just wasn't right! 
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  • mkbland said:

    I'm glad I read this. My DD is almost. 3 months today and while I think her name is nice, I just don't like it on her. We took a list of 3 to the hospital and agreed to one right after she was born.

    The name we agreed to happened to be H's favorite and my least favorite. He asked within minutes of her birth if we could name her that and wasted no time telling everyone that was her name when I agreed. I immediately regretted it but I had more important things to focus on like my new tiny baby. I regret that now. I wish would have said hey I really don't like this lets change it.

    But I won't legally change it now. I just really hope like everyone else has said that I will eventually like it. I've even lied to people that I don't interact with often or strangers about her name (I use her middle name instead) because I hate her name so much.

    I really hope you do grow to like her name because this feeling stinks. FWIW, Margaret is a great name especially paired with Rose.

    If you truly hate her name, I think you should tell your husband how you're feeling. No mama should hate their child's name. The name is inextricably tied to the little one. I would seriously consider changing it if you truly hate it. It may be embarrassing or uncomfortable during the transition, but then it will be over with. She's going to have her name for her whole life, and that's a long time to be hating it!
  • I begged Dh to change DD's name. I remember being in tears over it. He was against it. I rarely said her name out loud and would cringe introducing her. I loved Anna Kate, but I found myself insecure mentioning both. I was worried it made me sound snooty. Around 6 months it finally felt right and it totally fits her now. I think it just didn't seem right on a tiny infant.
    Anna Kate 10.17.2009 Alexander 6.10.2011 Baby Girl 6.2014
  • My parents changed my name when I was 2 days old, fwiw. For a while as a kid I tried to convince people to call me by my "real" name but it never took so I gave up. ;)

    I think you will probably get used to it but pp's have made some good points that if you're really hating it, it wouldn't hurt to "try on" a different name (or her middle name?) for a few days and see if it fits better. I agree it would be better to change it now than regret it later, though chances are you will grow to like it better over time.

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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