Intro

wifemompharmd · April 2014

Hello. I have been lurking for quite some time (under a different name) and felt it was time to introduce myself as I hope my experiences will be able to lend support to others who are also going through this.

For starters, DH (30) and I (29) have been married for a little over 3 years but together for 13 years. We started TTC in May 2013 and got our first BFP in July 2013 but this ended with a MMC and D&C in August 2013. I finally got DH on board with TTC again and we got our 2nd BFP April 7th after only one cycle of actively trying. However, this past Sunday I started bleeding and subsequently miscarried again (chemical pregnancy). I am finding this loss (even though I only knew about it for a week) to be just as painful as the last because I now have so many questions. Why is this happening? Am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong that we haven't discovered yet? It makes the idea of conceiving again (we plan to continue after one cycle) terrifying to me.

Sorry if I started rambling. We didn't tell anyone this time so I haven't really had anyone IRL to talk to about this.

Thanks for listening and sorry we're all here.

KingLED · April 2014

Sorry for your loss. This journey tends to be filled with a lot of whys and disturbingly few answers. Take care of yourself.

nola219 · April 2014

Sorry for your loss(es). I wish I had answers for you, but I just don't. Maybe a trip to a genetic counselor, ART clinic or RE for some testing might ease your mind, and your DH. Mostly likely there is no real reason and isn't more than shitty luck. You did have a little gap between pregnancies so hopefully they are completely unrelated.

The more I read and learn about chemical pregnancies, the less broken I feel. They are very common and most women don't even know they had one. Early testing has led to a "rise" in chemical pregnancies.

Anyway, I lurked on here for a few days before getting up the courage to intro myself. The ladies here have been wonderfully supportive. I only hope I can help someone as much as they helped me.

No one wants to be here, but I hope you can find some piece of mind in the shared experiences of everyone on this board. T&P to you.

meredithcarole · April 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. As mentioned above, they suspect that we now are more aware of chemical pregnancies due to the ability to test early. They are very common, so don't lose hope. My mom had 2 back to back miscarriages between me and my brother and one of the nurses I spoke to had had 3 live children and 3 miscarriages. Some times it is just bad luck. On the other hand, I totally understand why getting pg again gives you some anxiety. Talk to your doctor and see what they recommend. Some say 3 miscarriages before further testing, some say 2.

salsa_wifey · April 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. My first two loses were consecutive and very early so I can relate. I wondered what was wrong with me and why it kept happening. To make it worse my OB said they wouldn't do any testing until I had 3 losses and that since the second one had happened before my first appt, they had no proof I was actually pregnant and the second loss would not count. That was when I made the decision to go on my own and seek out an RE. They did a full cycle analysis and found nothing wrong with me or DH. I'm high risk but they didn't feel like the m/cs had anything to do with my high risk issues. They determined they were both "flukes." They perscribed me Progesterone, pelvic rest, no exercise for the first trimester and baby aspirin my entire pregnancies going forward. They said it was one of those "it can't hurt" scenerios. I'm not sure if it was my problem or not but I did have two healthy baby boys.

Loss does bring us to a different place than women who haven't experienced it. We have more anxiety and fear and less joys with pregnancy. One thing I will say is that it also makes you appreciate life so much more because of what you had to endure.

Big (((Hugs))). Loss is not easy and I'm so sorry you are going through this. T&P that you never have to experience another and that when you are emotionally ready, you don't have to wait long for your take-home baby.

wifemompharmd · April 2014

Thank you so much for the kind words. I have a follow-up blood draw on Monday to make sure my HCG levels are down to below 5. I hope to be able to ask the nurses a few questions as to what steps we may need to take going forward. I am thinking we will give it one more shot before seeking out additional testing.

Again, thank you for the support.

stephy1221 · April 2014

I am so sorry for your losses.

longcat07 · April 2014

i'm so sorry for your losses. my loss kind of runs the line of chemical pregnancy...it's like it was a chemical that was a mmc at the same time, because my betas stayed low enough that there would never have been anything to see on an ultrasound but i made it past the first week by a few days. it seriously sucks. it's one of those things that you know sucks in theory but you really have no idea how truly it seriously sucks until it happens. (((hugs))) i don't have any answers for you. from what i've read, it seems like a lot of the time mc is just bad luck, even more than one.