How do you all get through the weeks...

cdubs85 · April 2014

between disappearing symptoms, cramps and discharge making an appearance, and the stupid CB weeks estimator tests that won't budge from 2-3 weeks, I'm driving myself crazy. If I can't make it past 6 weeks without going crazy, how will I handle 40 weeks? or a child? I was doing so well just days ago and now looks like things have taken a turn for the worst. My thoughts are going 1000 mph full of negativity and doomsday scenarios. The ladies over at my BMB have posted mantras and I've been reading them to myself. What do you ladies do to remain calm when PGAL brain is getting the best of you?

2redtulips · April 2014

First thing I did was to hide my thermometer and any other tests that might make me freak out.

Second, I held on to mantras like crazy in the first trimester (second tri is easier because I feel movement now - but I still have a few mantras), and I took any and all good news from the doctor and reminded myself of those things until the next appointment.

Pgal brain and waiting is a difficult combination, but you will get there one day at a time.

Hugs.

megbmeg · April 2014

@Cdubs85 - I just noticed we have the same EDD!

And I feel the same way, wondering just how to do it. I'm finding it helpful to hear from all of you who are going through the same struggle. I asked about this in my intro post & the advice everyone has posted has been great. I especially like the reminder that "today I am pregnant!" I also try to tell myself that it is OK to be scared, and being scared doesn't mean that something is wrong. I suspect that getting through the weeks is impossible, you have to just get through the day (and then in the sneaky way that days do, they'll eventually start to add up, right?).

Hang in there!

Junebug060609 · April 2014

One day at a time.

Im still taking it à day at a time at 37w with my second PgAL pregnancy. There comes à point where you have to take à leap of faith and hope that no news is good news. I know it is hard sometimes, have a history involving mmc myself, but still.

BookishMomma · April 2014

One day at a time, just like an alcoholic trying to quit the sauce.

edit: typo

Squiddly · April 2014

I agree with what all PPs have said. Just get through one day at a time. My loss was early, so I struggled early, but the second tri has been a lot easier for me.

SA1112 · April 2014

It's hard! I have no clue how I made it through the first tri other than just taking it one day at a time and telling myself that I had no reason to think that anything was wrong. It's difficult though when you've had a mmc but I just kept telling myself that. After 10 or 11 weeks I used my doppler about once a week to keep negative thoughts at bay. Once you feel the baby move it will get much easier. So although the worry never completely goes away, it will start to get easier as the weeks go by. Hang in there!

[Deleted User] · April 2014

My first piece of advice: Step away from the pee sticks! Those CB Weeks Estimators will only cause you more stress.

And as far as how to get through the weeks, I agree with the PP's - take it one day at a time! And I also concur that the first few appointments are the hardest. It does get easier as things progress and you receive positive news, but PgAL brain will likely never go away. Just hang in there!

megbmeg · April 2014

Thanks for posting the link to the mantras @lindsayhilleary. "Hope does not make bad things happen" is a good one for me to think about. For the longest time, I was angry at my mom for making a baby quilt for me and one for my brother (he and his wife are dealing with infertility). Even though I knew it was ridiculous, it felt like she'd jinxed us.

jgreig83 · April 2014

To be honest, the whole 40 weeks are hard, but at least the first 12 dragged by for me. I kept myself busy with the Bump and expressed concerns with my Pgal Check in on my BMB. Other than that, constantly checking the TP every time I used the bathroom, and praying that my nausea and on/off bleeding and cramping were normal.There is no real advice here, you will make it through. Good Luck!

megbmeg · April 2014

jgreig83 said:

To be honest, the whole 40 weeks are hard, but at least the first 12 dragged by for me. I kept myself busy with the Bump and expressed concerns with my Pgal Check in on my BMB. Other than that, constantly checking the TP every time I used the bathroom, and praying that my nausea and on/off bleeding and cramping were normal.There is no real advice here, you will make it through. Good Luck!

Ugh that TP check is the worst!!

cdubs85 · April 2014

Thank you ladies. The worst part is that nothing has triggered these feelings except those CB weeks tests and an ultrasound I had last week. I just want to see the 3+ to have reassurance my HCG is going up. I had an ultrasound last week due to some very light brown bleeding and I was measuring 4w5d when I should've been 5w2-4d. There was a gestational and yolk sac, but no fetal pole.

I need to concentrate on the positive. I had a gestational and yolk sac. I have no cramping or bleeding. I have nothing to indicate this pregnancy will go wrong and everything to believe that everything is right on schedule.

Thank you for your positive comments and words of reassurance. Although I hate that we find ourselves here, it's comforting to know that I'm not crazy and there are others like me, who have worries constantly over something that should be such a joyous event. I sure could use any extra prayers you all have!

cdubs85 · April 2014

megbmeg said:

jgreig83 said:

To be honest, the whole 40 weeks are hard, but at least the first 12 dragged by for me. I kept myself busy with the Bump and expressed concerns with my Pgal Check in on my BMB. Other than that, constantly checking the TP every time I used the bathroom, and praying that my nausea and on/off bleeding and cramping were normal.There is no real advice here, you will make it through. Good Luck!

Ugh that TP check is the worst!!

I had been doing this a lot at the beginning and when I passed the point of my CP, I slowly stopped. Today, I'm back at it **as I run to the bathroom*

cdubs85 · April 2014

RN536 said:

No advice cause I am going through the same thing. Just want to send you some ((hugs)). One day at a time.

Keep us updated. Lots of positive vibes your way tonight.

cdubs85 · April 2014

andrea ri 80 said:

Sorry, the first weeks are the hardest I think for the pgalers who have had early first tri losses. My way isn't the best, but it works for me: I just don't even think about it, and just go about business as usual. Hope it gets better for you soon

On my good days, this is exactly what I do. I go about my day as if nothing was different. If only I could do this EVERYDAY.

kateitho · April 2014

megbmeg said:

jgreig83 said:

To be honest, the whole 40 weeks are hard, but at least the first 12 dragged by for me. I kept myself busy with the Bump and expressed concerns with my Pgal Check in on my BMB. Other than that, constantly checking the TP every time I used the bathroom, and praying that my nausea and on/off bleeding and cramping were normal.There is no real advice here, you will make it through. Good Luck!

Ugh that TP check is the worst!!

I still do that and I'm 20w2d...

Heeb918 · April 2014

This might sound silly, but I downloaded a bunch (like 5) apps that have daily and weekly advice, articles, and general "what is your baby up to" type of stuff. That way, I get to look at something new each day but I also look forward to each Saturday when they would hit the weekly stuff and I got to read a bunch of what baby looks like, is growing, etc. it doesn't make it easier but at least it gave me something to look forward to each day and something positive to hope for.

springbeduk2 · April 2014

Those first few weeks are the hardest, esp. if your history is early loss(es) ... a combination of staying very busy (which makes the days go faster) and going one day at a time was how I got through. Accept lots of (((((((((hugs))))))))))) from people here who can relate to what you're going through and otherwise not too much pg-related internet. Also there are lots and lots of posts (going way back) here of others whose early ultrasounds measured behind (mine was and I'm now at 37 weeks with all looking good!). The fact that they saw a yolk sac (heck, even that they confirmed something was in your ute!) is a really good sign and a good positive to focus on.

FX that time goes quickly for you and that you get more reassuring/good news soon! After that ... PGAL brain definitely does not go away but I hope you'll have the same experience that lots of us have had that it calms down some and the freak-outs come fewer and farther between as time goes along.

cdubs85 · April 2014

These responses bring tears to my eyes. Thank you all for taking the time to tame my crazy thoughts!

JCM285 · April 2014

I know how you feel!! I also had a mmc at 10 1/2 weeks and since I'm only at about 5w right now, I've got a while to go to pass my milestone. Its so disheartening that something can go wrong without us realizing it, but I've been telling myself that the odds are in my favor that things will go right this time!

MCH77 · April 2014

((HUGS))

I like to create small goals for myself. First goal was to get to 4w, second goal was to get to this past Sunday. My next goal is to make it to May. 13 days, I can do that right?!

The other thing I do is remind myself that I have no control over what happens and that I will survive. I like to control/organize things, so this really freaks me out. Telling myself it is ok to have no control helps, it gives me permission to be ok with it. Don't know if that makes sense.

megbmeg · April 2014

MCH77 said:

The other thing I do is remind myself that I have no control over what happens and that I will survive. I like to control/organize things, so this really freaks me out. Telling myself it is ok to have no control helps, it gives me permission to be ok with it. Don't know if that makes sense.

This definitely makes sense to me. I struggle with not having any control, too. It's scary! I like your idea to give yourself permission to not be in charge of it. Thanks.

doglover31 · April 2014

The beginning is really hard, especially with a history of early losses. I felt like the first tri went by so slow. Each day I was so worried that something was going to happen. I just had to keep telling myself that I am pregnant today and and not worry about what would happen tomorrow. But now in the second tri time is passing more quickly and I have relaxed some. I still have my moments but now that he is starting to move some it is a lot more reasurring.

Also keep in mind that symptoms can come and go. That is very normal during pregnancy. And stop taking the tests. Doing that will drive you crazy!

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