Bridesmaid?

ktibbits1 · April 2014

I am about 9 weeks pregnant and found out last week it's twins! I am supposed to be in a friend's wedding in Sept. when I'll be about 30 weeks. Is it unrealistic to think that (a) I'll be able to travel (I live in Chicago, the wedding is in Boston) and (b) that I'll be able to fit into a BM dress? Is it selfish to tell her to "wait and see" or should I back out?

MrsP419 · April 2014

I honestly don't think you will be able to travel, or even allowed to travel at that point. I am 30 weeks now and I am SO uncomfortable; a plane ride would be horrible. Also, you want to be close to the hospital; it is typical to have false alarms, preterm labor, or even actual labor. The last flight I took was around 19 weeks and the doctor was cool with that, but the ladies on here told me that was probably as late as I would want to travel. I think they were right! Sorry :-( I know it is disappointing.

Rynleigh · April 2014

I would not plan on traveling at 30 weeks if it requires a flight. The latest trip we made was when I was 29w, but it was just a 2hr drive, no planes involved. I had gestational diabetes at that time, and five weeks later, I had pre-eclampsia. There are women on this forum who delivered before 30 weeks, and others who were several weeks into hospital bed rest.

You could make it all the way to 38w with no complications, you could even work up until your delivery date... But I wouldn't make plans as big as participating in a wedding several states away.

spin25 · April 2014

I wouldn't make that trip, but I delivered at 30w4d with little warning--there was no indication anything was wrong until 30w2d. Everything is always fine until it isn't, so I wouldn't risk it with that long of a trip. If something went wrong, you and babies would be stuck in Boston.

seawater · April 2014

Yeah, unfortunately that would be too close for my comfort as well. Not to scare you, but a lot can change very fast with multiples. Like PP said, for most "everything is okay until it's not". You want to make sure you and your LOs are in the best place possible if something does happen.

ceechie · April 2014

Totally agree with pp's on travel. Also, you will likely be measuring around 40 weeks and I can't imagine getting a bridesmaid dress for that. The alterations to make that work will be insane (all depending of what the bride picks). Congrats on the twins!

StacyH0507 · April 2014

I would stay put, I last traveled by plane at 25 weeks and that was enough for me! Now at almost 33 weeks I get uncomfortable even walking around Target.

JTA2426 · April 2014

I was in a wedding at 22 weeks (my best friend) and I had to do a TON of alterations to be able to wear the dress. It was barely possible. I also didn't travel anywhere after 28 weeks and nowhere by plane before that. It would be better to back out now than wait until something does or doesn't happen, right?

24karat · April 2014

As hard as it would be, I'd definitely back out without hesitation. Many, if not nearly all, multiples pregnancies will have some travel restrictions starting in 2nd Tri...it's just too risky with how much can quickly change. At 30wks I was over a month into bed rest and measuring full term. Ten minute car rides to appointments were difficult, not to mention standing or walking.

SandraPB1220 · April 2014

I'm 30 weeks now and there's nothing that sounds less appealing to me than traveling halfway across the country to be in a wedding, where you'll more than likely be standing for really long periods of time. I'm guessing if you check with your OB, they'll tell you traveling that far that late in your pregnancy is definitely not recommended.

Hoosier722 · April 2014

I was supposed to be in my sister in laws wedding at 30 weeks and I backed out and it's local! I was worried about being on bedrest or whatnot. Plus, I'll be so big I'll feel like a freak show waddling down the aisle (not to mention the discomfort of standing up there). I'm 26 weeks now and I'm so glad I backed out! I felt bad at first, but now I know I made the right decision.

lynnyrd80 · April 2014

I'm going to be in my SIL's wedding in 2 1/2 weeks when I will be 29 weeks. It's local. I'm a little worried about all the standing and all that, but she is cool with me wearing flats and will reserve a seat for me in the front row in case I feel like I need to go sit down. She is a Pedi and all the other bridesmaids are Drs, so they will be extra respectful of my limits. I had to order my dress a few weeks after I found out I was having twins. The bridal shop had me guess-timate how big I thought my waist would be and order off of that. I had no idea and ordered a really big size and the alterations people don't want to start altering it until a week before since my size is changing quickly. I have my fingers crossed that I look somewhat decent.

All that being said, the last time I flew was 20 weeks and it wasn't comfortable. I drove 3 hours with my parents this past weekend (26 weeks) to visit my brother and my OB said no more travel after that. So, I doubt your OB will want you to travel that late.

carrotcake06 · April 2014

I wouldn't if it invokes that much travel. If it were local, I'd do wait and see. I didn't have travel restrictions but 30w is right around time it got really hard.

I had a wedding at 35w+ that was 3hr away (not in it or anything) and I told the bride it was wait and see but I ended up delivering at 34w.

legaleagles · April 2014

I would not fly at 30w with twins. My OB and MFM were very hesitant to let me fly at 27 weeks for my SIL's wedding and I ended up not going - I would have been too uncomfortable. At 30 weeks I was measuring 36 weeks. I've been lucky that I haven't delivered or experienced a lot of complications, but you just never know (and I wasn't willing to get stuck in Florida should something happen if I travelled).

oughtonk · April 2014

My doctor is cutting me off from travel at 28 weeks, I haven't encountered any issues and things have been uneventful but she told me things can change on a dime. I couldn't even imagine being in a wedding at 30 weeks, I'm 26 weeks now and feel like I'm at least 32-34 weeks. It's hard to guess how big you'll be and fitting into a dress will definitely be tricky.

PurpleIris30 · April 2014

I agree with everyone else. I was allowed to drive in a car 100 miles away at 30 weeks, BUT I had an appointment that day and didn't know if I would be allowed to go until that afternoon at the appointment. A flight would have been out of the question. I was also measuring 40 weeks at 30 weeks and I couldn't stand for very long without having stomach muscle tightening (non-painful contractions).

I had an appointment at 31 weeks - everything was fantastic. The next night I had a PPROM and delivered at 32 weeks. So everything was great until I was being life flighted in the middle of the night to high level NICU.

CameraBug131 · April 2014

i don't plan on traveling after 20 weeks call me paranoid.

Brummy14 · April 2014

PPs pretty much covered it. Hell, I wouldn't have even made it to the wedding seeing as I would have been nearly a week post-delivery at that point.

At 22w, I was pulled of off anything except being a couch potato and working my desk job. Travel at that stage would have absolutely been a no-no. I skipped a close friends' wedding the week prior (I decided it was beyond the point I was comfortable traveling), actually. The next week I started landing in L&D weekly for one reason or another.

ktibbits1 · April 2014

Thanks for all your input, ladies! I appreciate the advice, very helpful!

eringerard35 · April 2014

My sister is getting married August 16 (My due date is Sept 9) and before we knew we were having twins I figured that was enough time in between the wedding at my due date. I am also a bridesmaid and I am pretty sure I won't be able to find a dress!! If it was anyone other than my sister I would back out..especially because we have to drive over 4 hours to the wedding. I am not looking forward to it!!

oughtonk · April 2014

eringerard35 said:

My sister is getting married August 16 (My due date is Sept 9) and before we knew we were having twins I figured that was enough time in between the wedding at my due date. I am also a bridesmaid and I am pretty sure I won't be able to find a dress!! If it was anyone other than my sister I would back out..especially because we have to drive over 4 hours to the wedding. I am not looking forward to it!!

Just make sure your doctor clears you before a 4 hour drive, if you're able to go that's great but my doctor said majority of her twin pregnancies end up with travel restrictions by 30 weeks. When I initially responded to this post I was 26 weeks and things had been uneventful, 2 days later I was put on bed rest because my cervix is shortening faster than they would like. Things can change on a dime, just be prepared in case something happens.

JenyB6 · May 2014

I agree with all of the other ladies. At 24 wks I was told to stay off my feet as much as possible and was not to be more than an hour away from the hospital. Now at 27 weeks it's hard to be on my feet for more than 20 mins at time. Plus the pain and pressure I am feeling from the way the babies are laying it's difficult to even do general house work.

CaliCarly77 · May 2014

I traveled to Boston for a wedding from Los Angeles at 24 weeks and that was rough. I had an amazing pregnancy, didn't gain too much weight, and delivered at 37.2, but I'll tell ya, it was really hard to walk through the airport at 24 weeks and I basically just sat down the whole time at the wedding. We went for a few walks but they were killing me. 30 weeks that would have been a definite "no."

CaliCarly77 · May 2014

eringerard35 said:

My sister is getting married August 16 (My due date is Sept 9) and before we knew we were having twins I figured that was enough time in between the wedding at my due date. I am also a bridesmaid and I am pretty sure I won't be able to find a dress!! If it was anyone other than my sister I would back out..especially because we have to drive over 4 hours to the wedding. I am not looking forward to it!!

Is Sept 9 your twin due date or your actual due date (40 weeks)? If its your actual due date, I'm going to say that you will have a 50% chance of having had your babies already and will likely not be able to stand at a wedding. You will be 36 weeks pregnant with twins! I couldn't even stand long enough to make myself a sandwich at 36 weeks!

eringerard35 · May 2014

Sept 9th is my 40 week due date. I am trying to deal with the fact that I may not be making it to my own sisters wedding!

CaliCarly77 · May 2014

eringerard35 said:

Sept 9th is my 40 week due date. I am trying to deal with the fact that I may not be making it to my own sisters wedding!

I really don't know what to tell you - most of the twin moms on here delivered right around then. I think you could "attend" if it weren't for the drive, but even then would have to be a game day decision.

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