does baby name regret wear off?

genromeo · April 2014

Maybe this is just the postpartum hormones talking, but I just can't get over the idea that we gave our LO the wrong name. It's a perfectly inoffensive name (Margaret) but every time I look at her, I think we got it wrong. She just doesn't look like a Margaret to me and I don't like the name (or its most common nicknames). It took me a little while to get used to my first daughter's name (it's Rose, but I just called her "Little Bundle" for the first 3 months of her life, I think), but now I think her name is perfect for her. I'm assuming I'll start to like DD2's name one day too ... but it's really bugging me right now. Anyone else feel this way?

manderdoll · April 2014

I have a friend who said it took about a year before she really liked her daughters name on her, I'm sure it's not that uncommon. DS1 I never doubted his name, DS2 was such a difficult baby that his name was the farthest thing from my mind and if this one is a boy it might never get a name...lol

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

I think this is pretty common.

It took me a while to even get used to the idea that DD was mine, let alone me wrap my brain around her name. She has sort of a "big" name for a little girl so it seemed extra strange.

Give it time, and FWIW, Margaret is gorgeous.

emmy236 · April 2014

Definitely will be ok. We named DS after my dad and had that decided before he was born then when he was here I suddenly freaked out that I should of thought of other names. Now it totally fits him. FWIW if I had a little Margaret id totally call her Daisy!!!

rlyttle · April 2014

I didn't so much have regret, but I thought Blake was such a big name for DS when he was first born. It just didn't seem to fit. But a couple weeks later it seemed to be just right. He is def a little Blake now!!

lauralew · April 2014

I remember kind of cringing internally when saying my son's names to strangers...mostly because it is just not a baby name. And I was worried about comments. I had no intention of giving my kids the nick names Bubba and Sissy, but it just happened. As I heard more people call him Walter, I started to feel more comfortable with it. Now I love it and am so happy it's his name. I also called my daughter "little girl" way more than "Eleanor" when she was a baby.

ETA: Not sure how old your new LO is, but something to consider...newborns are kind of funny looking. I mean, adorable, but squishy and sometimes not quite human looking. So I imagine as your LO gets chubby and more baby looking, the name will fit better.

aicila717 · April 2014

I felt the same way about my sons name Levi he will be two in July and now I'm starting to like it.....I did like how his full name flowed though but I knew no 1 would call him that, Levi Joseph

CiderWench · April 2014

When we named our son I thought all names in a baby name book were legitimate. He was about 5-years old when I found this site and learned otherwise. In my defense, I was raised in Utah where made-up names and spellings are pretty popular ~ Brinley is a Utah invention according to the Baby Names Wizard lady. Anyway, I regretted the name for awhile after that because of its immense popularity and "most hated" status. But then I decided that I was being ridiculous. I love my son, the name suits him perfectly, and my husband and I truly picked a name that we both loved for him, even though our tastes have changed since then.

I think the reasons you chose to name your daughter Margaret (absolutely lovely, by the way) in the first place will win out. New babies are a huge adjustment; things just need time to settle back down.

Sam Buttons · April 2014

Totally normal! I literally cried when I came home because I thought we named her the wrong name.

background: we were going back and forth between Clementine and Penny for the first 12 hours and eventually went with Penny.

She's 10 months old and I am just now happy with her name. It's perfect for her.

Sam Buttons · April 2014

Ps. Margaret is a gorgeous name - and I am obsessed with the nn Daisy if that's something you're thinking of.

Kateysomething · April 2014

My best friend's mom decided when my friend was 6 months old to have her name legally changed because she just wasn't happy with it. Whenever people used it she'd say "Don't call her that". So, now she's a Jennifer. That's probably pretty extreme, but figured I'd share.

diamondduck13 · April 2014

OP, thanks for posting, this makes me feel better because I feel less alone in my feeling my DDs name doesn't sit well with me. It's not regret or dislike, it just feels awkward somehow when I use it. It just doesn't seem to fit her or me or something - it's probably tied to the ongoing disbelief I'm actually a mother!

Anyway, I primarily refer to her as Little Girl or Boo (my husband calls her Boo Boo, that's a bit too much for me). She basically only hears her name at day care cause her teachers use it. It'd probably feel more comfortable if I'd just start using it!

lauralew · April 2014

Kateysomething said:

My best friend's mom decided when my friend was 6 months old to have her name legally changed because she just wasn't happy with it. Whenever people used it she'd say "Don't call her that". So, now she's a Jennifer. That's probably pretty extreme, but figured I'd share.

I'm really curious what the original name was...

Paigeleeann25 · April 2014

When my LO was born it honestly was hard to call the tiny pink bundle of joy I had "Paige". To me it didn't suit a baby. Over time, like months, I got over it and it totally fits her now.

novilise · April 2014

My mom found out when she was older that her name, Jill Susan, might not be her official name. haha! Her original birth certificate said "Jin Winifred Cora". We have no idea whether it was a mistake and they changed it, but this one survived or if they just decided later to call her Jill Susan instead. (Her mom was a bit of a free spirit like that.) Winifred Cora was for her two grandmothers, so we could understand that and she had heard that they had 'thought' about using those but the grandmothers fought over which would be first. But 'Jin' really through us for a loop! However, her older sister's name is Janice (Jan) so maybe they thought at first that they wanted them to be Jan and Jin. Who knows now! She had it legally changed, though, to Jill Susan.

sunnyday016 · April 2014

Naming my DD was super easy. Once we found out we were having a girl, we knew we wanted to call her Sophie. It just felt right and who she was right from the beginning.

Naming DS was harder. Ethan wasn't really even on my list, DH threw it on the list toward the end and I didn't really think we'd end up picking it. We had a difficult birth with him (emergency c-section, and then they ran him right to NICU) so by the time I actually saw him DH said "I think he looks like an Ethan, don't you?" I agreed. It took awhile to sink in though. Now when I look at him, I can't imagine him with any of the other names we considered. He's an Ethan for sure.

TweedleDee3 · April 2014

I can't offer advice on name regret but fwiw Rose and Margaret make the loveliest subset I've heard in awhile.

princessjenney · April 2014

Play round with some nicknames or pet names. When DD was brand new we mostly called her "little one" or "baby love".

BethPSU · April 2014

I felt this way with my second son and my daughter. DS#1 was named after my dad and it suited him pretty quickly. I feel like it took me the longest to get used to DD's name. DH was more sure of her name when we picked it.

Jennifer2008 · April 2014

We had major baby name regret, changed the name, and could not be happier.

Go with your gut. We had to send out an embarrassing email, but now almost a year later no one seems to remember that she had a different name for the first 2 weeks. If you are going to change, I say do it sooner than later. In Ontario where we're from, you don't legally register names for 30 days so ours was an easy change that didn't require any legal name changes or anything (since she wasn't legally named yet). But I spent the first nights with her, awake and thinking, "You are not Lila." We changed to Violet and are so glad we did. Our situation may be different, in that we loved Violet and Lila, but had some family members tell us how much they hated the name Violet and even said they wouldn't call her that. We thus opted not to use it, and then really wished we had.... so we did!

I do think Margaret is gorgeous, and pairs so well with Rose, but try a different name on her for a few days at home and see how you feel. We did and after just a day we both felt like Violet suited her (and us) more and we felt relieved when we decided to switch. So, just for what it's worth, I am guessing think that for most people name regret totally wears off and second-guessing is normal. But if it feels like more than just small doubts and you aren't feeling proud and happy to say her name at all, I don't see harm is switching to a name you truly feel in love with.

We sent out an email like this, as we had previously sent an email to our friends/close colleagues/relatives sharing the news that we'd had our baby. I'm sharing it with you just in case this is helpful -- the wording was hard to figure out for us. It had totally positive responses from people, and we were surprised how many people told us things like, "I was Anthony for the first month of my life!" or "We changed our son's name after 3 weeks too." These are all people we knew well and never knew they'd had different names to begin with, so it may not be as uncommon as you think. Anyway, the email went like this. Hope this helps!:

Dear family and friends,

We hope that you are well and enjoying the start of summer!

Thank you for your well-wishes and messages about the arrival of the newest member of our family. We are writing today because we have one important amendment that we wanted to make to the email we recently sent about our baby girl.

After getting to know her, we've realized that the name we originally chose, while beautiful, didn't seem to suit our little lady... We knew we'd make a lot of mistakes as parents -- who knew we'd get the name wrong! We've come to realize that she is much more of a Violet. We are thus happy to (re)introduce our sweet baby daughter to you, Violet Elizabeth Lastname.

Lots of love,

The Lastname Family

Whatever you decide, whether she is Margaret or something else equally as lovely, I hope you come to adore the name!

mkbland · April 2014

I'm glad I read this. My DD is almost. 3 months today and while I think her name is nice, I just don't like it on her. We took a list of 3 to the hospital and agreed to one right after she was born.

The name we agreed to happened to be H's favorite and my least favorite. He asked within minutes of her birth if we could name her that and wasted no time telling everyone that was her name when I agreed. I immediately regretted it but I had more important things to focus on like my new tiny baby. I regret that now. I wish would have said hey I really don't like this lets change it.

But I won't legally change it now. I just really hope like everyone else has said that I will eventually like it. I've even lied to people that I don't interact with often or strangers about her name (I use her middle name instead) because I hate her name so much.

I really hope you do grow to like her name because this feeling stinks. FWIW, Margaret is a great name especially paired with Rose.

sweetpea2003 · April 2014

I had a bit with my son. His name, Connor, was not my favorite boy name. Probably not in the top 5 even. But my husband absolutely adored it and couldn't let it go. With our daughter (baby #1), he had not put up an ounce of opposition to the name I had always wanted to use on a little girl (Katherine - Kate) so I felt like being stubborn about Connor was a little hypocritical.

Now that he is 3 and a half, it is absolutely the perfect name for him and I have grown to really love his name. I'm happy DH got to feel like he got what he wanted and have no regrets whatsoever.

One of my concerns about Connor was that it would be too popular. That has been unfounded and actually it is my daughter who tends to be one of many Kates (or Katie, Caitlin, etc). So you just never know how it is going to pan out.

I really like Margaret! It is a very "big" name - very mature and dignified - so I can see how an itsy bitsy newborn would have trouble shouldering it. But for life, it's a wonderful name .

L0L0 · April 2014

My LO is Margaret, too, and I also felt like it was too much name for a tiny baby. One thing I love about the name is that it has SO many nickname options. Ours goes by Maisy 100%, and it really suits her. Consider trying out Maggie, Margo, Meg, peg, Greta, Gretchen, daisy, initials, middle name, etc. I even know a little Garet. Jenna Bush uses Mila for her Margaret. You may find a nn that fits great, and just use Margaret for formal stuff and for her to have options later.

genromeo · April 2014

Thanks so much for all of the advice ... I really appreciate everyone taking the time to comment and lend some support/share your stories. Jennifer2008, thanks so much for that email. I have toyed with the idea of changing it, but can't imagine bringing myself to actually do it. DH likes the name and it's a family name, so I think it's going to stay. I've been calling her Mimi because that's what her sister called my tummy bump (no idea where she got that name). I'm sure something will click once she gets a little older, as many of you have suggested.

iris427 · April 2014

Margaret is beautiful and classic. She'll grow into it. It sounds great with Rose too. Give it some time.

Kateysomething · April 2014

@lauralew @rentaduckie Original name was Katie! Nothing crazy, but apparently just wasn't right!

streamtrax41 · April 2014

mkbland said:
I'm glad I read this. My DD is almost. 3 months today and while I think her name is nice, I just don't like it on her. We took a list of 3 to the hospital and agreed to one right after she was born.

The name we agreed to happened to be H's favorite and my least favorite. He asked within minutes of her birth if we could name her that and wasted no time telling everyone that was her name when I agreed. I immediately regretted it but I had more important things to focus on like my new tiny baby. I regret that now. I wish would have said hey I really don't like this lets change it.

But I won't legally change it now. I just really hope like everyone else has said that I will eventually like it. I've even lied to people that I don't interact with often or strangers about her name (I use her middle name instead) because I hate her name so much.

I really hope you do grow to like her name because this feeling stinks. FWIW, Margaret is a great name especially paired with Rose.

If you truly hate her name, I think you should tell your husband how you're feeling. No mama should hate their child's name. The name is inextricably tied to the little one. I would seriously consider changing it if you truly hate it. It may be embarrassing or uncomfortable during the transition, but then it will be over with. She's going to have her name for her whole life, and that's a long time to be hating it!

chloephoebecali · April 2014

I begged Dh to change DD's name. I remember being in tears over it. He was against it. I rarely said her name out loud and would cringe introducing her. I loved Anna Kate, but I found myself insecure mentioning both. I was worried it made me sound snooty. Around 6 months it finally felt right and it totally fits her now. I think it just didn't seem right on a tiny infant.

macchiatto · April 2014

My parents changed my name when I was 2 days old, fwiw. For a while as a kid I tried to convince people to call me by my "real" name but it never took so I gave up.

I think you will probably get used to it but pp's have made some good points that if you're really hating it, it wouldn't hurt to "try on" a different name (or her middle name?) for a few days and see if it fits better. I agree it would be better to change it now than regret it later, though chances are you will grow to like it better over time.

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