UO Thursday

rubber_chicken · April 2014

Anyone have any unpopular opinions today?

rubber_chicken · April 2014

Well, I'll get started. I have one so unpopular, I've never said it outloud to anyone, besides my husband...

I really dislike how now, everytime there's a tragedy, there's a big push to fundraise and give money to the victim's families.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't help people out in times of trouble. But isn't that why we have FEMA and health insurance and life insurance and homeowners insurance and SS Disability? And if the safety net isn't enough, then shouldn't we fix the holes in it instead of creating some slogan and campaign around it?

It seems especially icky when someone dies, and then we hand their family millions of dollars. Like, oh hey, sorry your dad died, but now you're a millionaire so it's not all bad. Ick Ick Ick.

jlaOK · April 2014

Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or just a vent but DS's daycare let us know on the sheet yesterday that there would be an Easter party today. I kind of assumed there wouldn't be one because they are closed tomorrow. They asked parents to bring candy. I'm sorry, but there was no way I was stopping to buy candy for the class with such short notice. DS went to school empty handed and I really could care less.

jf198400 · April 2014

PrivacyWanted said:
I think fmla should apply for bereavement leave as well, at least in some limited amount
Most employers give like 3 days, but rarely is that long enough to be ready to head back after a close family member dies

I totally agree. I think immediate family (spouse or child) you get 5 days. Pretty sure I'd be a wreck for months after losing one of them.

I also think you should be able to take the full 12 weeks after baby is born even if you had bed rest beforehand. I also think you should be able to take FMLA for 2 unrelated events in the same year. I still remember there was a regular poster on this board a few years ago who's husband had cancer or brain tumor or something and she was also pregnant.

MommyAtty · April 2014

Because of some really crappy people I work with who have retired from actually producing anything while still showing up in the office and drawing their entire paycheck, I think there should be a "retirement button" that we can push that forces dead weight to retire. Screw age discrimination crap. Some older workers (not all, but some) really do just need to be pushed out the door.

Virgo17 · April 2014

I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!

djm31012 · April 2014

Virgo17 said:

I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!

we do baths every single night. i would never not do a bath every day. DS is a bruiser, loves being outside, falls all over the place, gets food all over himself. He needs a bath come 630pm!

kmh2201 · April 2014

I do not like girls' pants with the ruffly-bell bottoms. They look like clown pants to me, and I do not like clowns.

This next one may be more of a vent than an UO, but I think it's really tacky to hand out a fundraising flier at kindergarten round-up. Seriously, I pay enough taxes to the school district already.

jf198400 · April 2014

Virgo17 said:
I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!

We do baths every other night but in the summer it's every night b/c of the suntan lotion and they get so much dirtier outside. I agree we probably should do baths every night but I'm on my own with the kids most evenings and I'm just too tired to do it every night.

ss265 · April 2014

Along with the fundraiser thing - we have frequent fundraiser and raffle events at work and it really bugs me especially when the raffle is for a cake that another employee makes. I am all for giving to charity but I hate that it's a constant where I work (there are events like this at least once a month).

jlaOK · April 2014

MommyAtty said:

Because of some really crappy people I work with who have retired from actually producing anything while still showing up in the office and drawing their entire paycheck, I think there should be a "retirement button" that we can push that forces dead weight to retire. Screw age discrimination crap. Some older workers (not all, but some) really do just need to be pushed out the door.

Related to this there was a guy at my last job who HAD to work because his life insurance was all his family had to live off of if he passed. He was in such poor health and we had to call 911 for him multiple times. I felt so sorry for his situation but also hated that we all had to pick up the slack for his workload. Lose lose situation.

mae0111 · April 2014

rubber_chicken said:

Well, I'll get started. I have one so unpopular, I've never said it outloud to anyone, besides my husband...

I really dislike how now, everytime there's a tragedy, there's a big push to fundraise and give money to the victim's families.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't help people out in times of trouble. But isn't that why we have FEMA and health insurance and life insurance and homeowners insurance and SS Disability? And if the safety net isn't enough, then shouldn't we fix the holes in it instead of creating some slogan and campaign around it?

It seems especially icky when someone dies, and then we hand their family millions of dollars. Like, oh hey, sorry your dad died, but now you're a millionaire so it's not all bad. Ick Ick Ick.

I agree with you in some respects, but it really is a case by case basis. For example, there was a fire in my neighborhood, and a house burnt almost to the ground. Friends of the family immediately pushed for fundraisers, but I didn't participate - the family was fine, no one was injured, they were going to get their insurance settlement. They're rebuilding right now.

On the other hand, because we're so close to the Boston Marathon anniversary, I've been reading a lot about the Richard family. Their little boy, Martin, died. The mom lost an eye. The dad had a relatively minor injury, but it required surgery to remove shrapnel. Their youngest daughter had severe injuries that required a long hospital stay, multiple surgeries and infections, prosthetic legs, rehab, retrofitting their 100+ year old house for wheelchair access. Their oldest was physically uninjured, but he was 11, I think, when this happened. Insurance does not cover all of that. Was the dad just supposed to hop back to work after enduring this tragedy? That money will help the family to cope, to do what's necessary, and to survive.

I don't think anyone thought that the money would lessen the blow, but maybe it would just be one less thing they needed to worry about.

mlee116 · April 2014

Well, I don't know if my UO is unpoular here or just IRL, but I think its messed up when parents, especially ones who work during the week, repeatedly drop their kids off at a family member's house for the whole weekend so they can have "me time." It's a wonderful thing to do every once in awhile bc its a great way for kids to build relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. But I've spoken to several people who do this almost every weekend. I can't imagine doing that...weekends are the only time I get to spend the whole day with DS!

JackieB15 · April 2014

Virgo17 said:

I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!

My daughter gets a bath if she's dirty, but otherwise it's only every other day because she has dry skin unless she's particularly dirty. I wish we could do bathtime every night - she loves it and could spend an hour in there, but her skin just can't handle it.

mlee116 · April 2014

jf198400 said:

I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!
We do baths every other night but in the summer it's every night b/c of the suntan lotion and they get so much dirtier outside. I agree we probably should do baths every night but I'm on my own with the kids most evenings and I'm just too tired to do it every night.

Yep, I do them every other night too unless he's really dirty or its summer. On our off nights, I do wipe him down good with a warm wash cloth though before I put him in his PJ's.

mlee116 · April 2014

LibraryChica said:

Less weighty than some of these, but I hate when people change the spellings of their names to be unique. Myke is the example in my family. It is dumb.

Yes! I also hate when people purposely misspell words. Last Saturday we were behind some guy who had a sticker on the back of his truck that said "Kountry Boy Kadillac." I was judging him seven ways til Sunday.

jlaOK · April 2014

DS gets bathed everyday unless he doesn't do anything that he would get dirty doing. His daycare has a rock playground and he comes home covered in rock dust.

DD gets bathed EOD but she'll switch to everyday when she starts going out to recess.

I actually don't mind bathing DS everyday because he'll play in the bath for a min of 15 minutes. It gives us time to clean after dinner and put DD to bed. Disclaimer: his bathroom is right off our living room so we keep can still keep an eye on him.

aglenn · April 2014

I generally prefer to do every day baths because my kids are messy, but we give it a rest here and there in the winter when their skin gets really dry (both are prone to eczema) and cut back to every other day. Also right now DS is going through a phase where he just wants to stand in the far corner of the tub and scream at me through the whole experience. So every other day is good enough for me until that passes.

aglenn · April 2014

jlaOK said:

MommyAtty said:

Because of some really crappy people I work with who have retired from actually producing anything while still showing up in the office and drawing their entire paycheck, I think there should be a "retirement button" that we can push that forces dead weight to retire. Screw age discrimination crap. Some older workers (not all, but some) really do just need to be pushed out the door.

Related to this there was a guy at my last job who HAD to work because his life insurance was all his family had to live off of if he passed. He was in such poor health and we had to call 911 for him multiple times. I felt so sorry for his situation but also hated that we all had to pick up the slack for his workload. Lose lose situation.

This is actually a big problem for a lot of companies because people who haven't saved enough for retirement are stuck working even as they become less and less productive. Some companies will actually give them payouts to retire so that they don't end up having extra people on payroll just to do the work those people can't do any more.

MommaP12 · April 2014

Virgo17 said:

I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!

I used to but this winter their skin was so dry it was splitting open! I was putting Lansinoh on my daughter's back up until a week ago. Stupid Polar Vortex.

I can never think of a good UO. Blah.

rubber_chicken · April 2014

My DD gets a bath every night. However, she hates the bath, and we sometimes let her skip it when we don't feel like listening to her scream for 20 minutes.

However, my DD's bathing schedule has nothing to do with being dirty, and everything to do with keeping her eczema in check (more baths - less itchy skin, for her).

Confession - I only shower every 3 days. I wear deodorant, sit at a desk and don't exercise. I don't worry about being dirty.

MommyAtty · April 2014

aglenn said:

jlaOK said:

MommyAtty said:

Because of some really crappy people I work with who have retired from actually producing anything while still showing up in the office and drawing their entire paycheck, I think there should be a "retirement button" that we can push that forces dead weight to retire. Screw age discrimination crap. Some older workers (not all, but some) really do just need to be pushed out the door.

Related to this there was a guy at my last job who HAD to work because his life insurance was all his family had to live off of if he passed. He was in such poor health and we had to call 911 for him multiple times. I felt so sorry for his situation but also hated that we all had to pick up the slack for his workload. Lose lose situation.

This is actually a big problem for a lot of companies because people who haven't saved enough for retirement are stuck working even as they become less and less productive. Some companies will actually give them payouts to retire so that they don't end up having extra people on payroll just to do the work those people can't do any more.

I could gin up some sympathy if this were the case, but this jerk is hanging around because our bonuses have been huge the past couple of years. His are well in the six figures. Short run "lucky": that's over for the time being. (Which sucks for me because I'm just now eligible for the huge bonuses, so I missed the good years. But maybe it'll make this jerk retire, so long term it's worth it.)

cecilyandgautam · April 2014

Not an UO really, more of a vent, but along the lines of unproductive coworkers and picking up the slack - I work in a mostly unionized workplace, so pay is based on how long you've been there more than anything else. It's really demoralizing to see some one work a 6.5-7 hr day, take home a full time salary, and slowly plug away at a very limited set of responsibilities at a snail like pace, while making 1/3 more than I do, simply because he's older and hasn't done anything document-ably horrible enough to get fired. His tasks amount to what I could accomplish working 1-3 hrs/day, but he takes all day to do something very simple, does it wrong, gets corrected, has to be thoroughly briefed on why it's wrong another 1-2 times, then resubmits, still not really done correctly but now it's late, so it has to go forward . . . look, just pay me what he makes, and I'll do both my job and his. I'll save the company a heck of a lot of time and money.

mae0111 · April 2014

mlee116 said:

Well, I don't know if my UO is unpoular here or just IRL, but I think its messed up when parents, especially ones who work during the week, repeatedly drop their kids off at a family member's house for the whole weekend so they can have "me time." It's a wonderful thing to do every once in awhile bc its a great way for kids to build relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. But I've spoken to several people who do this almost every weekend. I can't imagine doing that...weekends are the only time I get to spend the whole day with DS!

I totally agree with this. I get a hectic hour or so with my kids in the morning, and about 1.5 hours with them at night on the days when I'm in the office, about 2.5 when I'm WFH. I don't have anyone offering to take them for an overnight or even a day, but if I did, I think it would be more like once a month/once every 6 weeks, rather than every weekend.

mae0111 · April 2014

This is more of a vent, too... but to my fellow train commuters... you do NOT get a WHOLE seat meant for 2 people during rush hour. MOVE YOUR CRAP AND LET ME SIT DOWN!!!

Hrmph.

mae0111 · April 2014

amy052006 said:

theresat858 said:

Virgo17 said:

I know a lot of people don't do daily baths with their kids, but I just cannot understand it. I know I feel gross if I skip a shower or get it later in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. My kids always get a bath before bedtime. They smell good and sleep better, it's a win win situation!

I don't take a daily shower myself...I shower every other day. It's sufficient. DD gets a bath every other day unless she comes home filthy from DC. I'm not sure why it's necessary to waste the water to bathe every day if your kid isn't dirty and doesn't stink.

Because it's a nice way to wind down the day that everyone enjoys?

Because young kids thrive on routine, especially around bed time?

Because a bath for your toddler isn't exactly the most wasteful thing in the world?

Baths make my kids nuts. It doesn't wind them down. They have a great time, splashing and screaming. Not at all relaxing.

mlee116 · April 2014

Ok, I have another...I'm on a roll today! I don't get gender reveal parties. Its just a made up party and AWish. I'm all for celebrating a new baby with a shower or two but come on. Next thing you know people are going to start having fertilization parties.

ETA: Maybe I'm just cranky bc I get invited to a crap ton of them it seems like.

jf198400 · April 2014

mlee116 said:
Ok, I have another...I'm on a roll today! I don't get gender reveal parties. Its just a made up party and AWish. I'm all for celebrating a new baby with a shower or two but come on. Next thing you know people are going to start having fertilization parties.

ETA: Maybe I'm just cranky bc I get invited to a crap ton of them it seems like.

I didn't even know this was a thing until I read about it on the bump. But now there's this one group of girls from high school that are all having babies and they keep posting their gender reveal parties on Facebook. I seriously can't believe people do this for real. Now granted I am team green, so maybe I just don't get it. But I can't imagine attending one of these for a friend or sibling. A phone call from MIL saying SIL and BIL are having a boy was enough for me.

mlee116 · April 2014

jf198400 said:

Ok, I have another...I'm on a roll today! I don't get gender reveal parties. Its just a made up party and AWish. I'm all for celebrating a new baby with a shower or two but come on. Next thing you know people are going to start having fertilization parties.

ETA: Maybe I'm just cranky bc I get invited to a crap ton of them it seems like.
I didn't even know this was a thing until I read about it on the bump. But now there's this one group of girls from high school that are all having babies and they keep posting their gender reveal parties on Facebook. I seriously can't believe people do this for real. Now granted I am team green, so maybe I just don't get it. But I can't imagine attending one of these for a friend or sibling. A phone call from MIL saying SIL and BIL are having a boy was enough for me.

Yep. I've known so many people who are doing this. The thing that I really, really don't get is that the ones I've been to ask everyone to wear pink if you hope its a girl or blue if you hope its a boy. Especially when the expecting couple is wearing one color and then they find out they're having the opposite sex. Fail.

cecilyandgautam · April 2014

I always assumed the "gender reveal" was done at the baby shower - like you cut open the cake to find pink or blue cake underneath the icing as one of several activities done during the shower. Are gender reveals a separate thing in addition to the shower? Doesn't that break some etiquette of some sort? I guess if you're having brunch with your best friends anyway, you can spill the beans then, but how do you make a whole party of it?

I was also team green (both times) so I don't know how this goes.

sugarbear0524 · April 2014

My UO is how some people forget that they had the ability to choose many of the aspects of their lives--specifically who to marry and where to live.

Husbands aren't assigned. If you don't like your DH, keep in mind that you did choose him. You don't wait in a husband line and take the next available one when you get to the front of the line. People tell me I'm lucky to have DH. I am blessed to have him as my husband, but I didn't "luck out" and get a good guy. I chose him.

It's the same with where you live. People complain about living in a HCOLA. There are other places to live where this won't be as much of an issue. I love my LCOLA, as my money goes further. If you want to live in a HCOLA, fine. But don't complain about how much more your taxes are, how you can't buy a decent house, etc. You chose that HCOLA. No one assigns you a place to live. I fully admit that there are circumstances (family, for example) that lead people to choose to live where they do. But, it's still a choice. You take the good with the bad.

dglvrk2 · April 2014

@kmh2201‌ mentioned ruffles on the bottoms of pants. I don't like these either. On the subject of.clothing, I don't like dorky slogans on kids' clothing such as "My dog ate my homework," and "Daddy's Little Princess."

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