Working Moms/Work-At-Home Moms: Giving Baby Attention

Re: Working Moms/Work-At-Home Moms: Giving Baby Attention

• PB102012 member

  March 2014

  I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. My LO is at a sitter's all day, but even when I am home on week nights or during the weekend, there are times that LO plays in herbouncer, exersaucer, and on a blanket with toys. I don't feel guilty because she enjoys it.

   

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• gallerybaby member

  March 2014

  Thank you so much for that-- and you're right, it's also good that she can entertain herself! I just get paranoid, I suppose. 

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• ASmallWonder member

  March 2014

  I think you have to consider that, depending how much time you're talking about, this could be a real disservice to her.  Part time daycare would be really beneficial because you wouldn't feel guilty or torn and she'd be able to get that attention.

  Formerly known as elmoali

  
  

  
  

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• PrimRoseMama member

  March 2014

  elmoali said:

  I think you have to consider that, depending how much time you're talking about, this could be a real disservice to her.  Part time daycare would be really beneficial because you wouldn't feel guilty or torn and she'd be able to get that attention.

  Agree

  
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• cagoldi member

  March 2014

  I WAH and there is no way I could keep DS with me and be a productive employee or give him the interaction he needs.
  
  I have kept him here when he was sick and wanted to sleep practically all day and even that was a challenge.
  
  He goes to DC where he gets all the stimulation he needs. Plopping him in a bouncer for an extended period of time while he sits there watching me on the computer would not be fair to him.

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• Chasing Daylight member

  March 2014

  I also work from home and keep my 8 month old home with me. I try to get a majority of my work done while she is napping or after she goes to bed at night. But if she is awake and I need to complete something, I have come to terms with letting her play on her own (in the same room with me) while I work on my computer. I can still talk to her and she doesn't feel alone, but it gives her time to play on her own and she learns to occupy herself. I am fortunate to have enough flexibility in my job that I can wrap up what I am doing within a minute or two or stop completely if she begins to fuss, needs a diaper change, etc. I think a parent can work from home and parent at the same time, but it all depends on the type of job requirements and whether you believe that your child is happy and developing properly. One thing I always keep in mind is that she comes first, before work, chores, etc. Then I can be confident that she is in the best situation and I don't feel bad when she is in her bouncer or playing on her own, because I know that when she needs Mommy time, she's got it. Best of luck to you!

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• gallerybaby member

  April 2014

  Chasing Daylight said:

  I also work from home and keep my 8 month old home with me. I try to get a majority of my work done while she is napping or after she goes to bed at night. But if she is awake and I need to complete something, I have come to terms with letting her play on her own (in the same room with me) while I work on my computer. I can still talk to her and she doesn't feel alone, but it gives her time to play on her own and she learns to occupy herself. I am fortunate to have enough flexibility in my job that I can wrap up what I am doing within a minute or two or stop completely if she begins to fuss, needs a diaper change, etc. I think a parent can work from home and parent at the same time, but it all depends on the type of job requirements and whether you believe that your child is happy and developing properly. One thing I always keep in mind is that she comes first, before work, chores, etc. Then I can be confident that she is in the best situation and I don't feel bad when she is in her bouncer or playing on her own, because I know that when she needs Mommy time, she's got it. Best of luck to you!

  Thank you so much for the response. I love hearing from someone who is in the same boat! And you're right, she does come first. Any amount of fussing and it's Mommy time, no matter what is flashing at me from the computer screen. And I certainly think she's a happy baby-- which is confirmed by everyone that meets her. I guess it's just so easy to go down that guilt spiral. Thanks again and great luck to you as well!

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• CherryHolly member

  April 2014

  Everyone's situations are different.  I was part time in office and part time home.  I was watching her when I worked at home.  Now I am in office 5 days a week and she comes with me 3x a week.  I am so grateful for having bosses who have been welcoming to her.  It is hard not to feel guilty.  But again, remember your child is your number one priority.  Focus on projects when she is napping or content.  My baby is overall a happy baby.  She plays to herself a lot which I want because I want her to learn independence.  But don't get me wrong she gets plenty of Mommy playtime too.  Guilt overcomes us moms whether we work or not and whether we have our babies with us or not.  It is hard to work away from home, stay home, bring your babies with you to work, etc.  Being a mom is hard no matter what.  So I think you do the best you can and that's all you can do.

  

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• jtmomma13 member

  April 2014

  
  

  PB102012 said:

  I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. My LO is at a sitter's all day, but even when I am home on week nights or during the weekend, there are times that LO plays in herbouncer, exersaucer, and on a blanket with toys. I don't feel guilty because she enjoys it.

  This. Your baby needs to play independently! 

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• eblom member

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  Even at daycare your LO won't get constant attention. It is very, very important for kids to have alone time to look and feel and play on their own. This is where a lot of imagination and creativity comes from so it is healthy to start now. There is a difference between them having alone time and being alone--you're keeping an eye on your LO and making sure your LO is safe, so don't feel bad. LO will cry if bored or needs attention for other reasons. All that said, I work from home and struggle with guilt sometimes so I don't blame you! That's a sign of being a good mom Others I know feel guilty dropping them off at daycare, so there is no perfect solution. It sounds like you may be able to get the work done you need with this arrangement; I do a lot of writing and sometimes need solid chunks beyond what I get while working and mommying at once, so I have started having help two half days a week when I write and then research when I have her because this isn't as hard for me to do in more broken-up periods.  

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• gallerybaby member

  April 2014

  Just a resounding thank you to all of the comments! I am learning to have more confidence as a FTM (I'm assuming that means First Time Mom?)-- my LO is absolutely my top priority. And she is also an incredibly happy baby, which I am so thankful for. Thanks again!!

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• [Deleted User] member

  April 2014 edited April 2014

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