What's your nightime schedule?

Margotsha · April 2014

I go back to work and am curious on what your night duty schedule is. DH works M-F, so I am the one to get up at each feeding for LO, and then DH takes the 6am feeding on Sat/Sun. Do you share the responsabilities with your SO, do all the feedings/changing/soothing on your own? What have you found that works best for you?

QueSrah · April 2014

When DD was little, we split the night duties. DH is a normal night owl and I'm not, so when I went back to work he would take 9-midnight or 1 (I can't remember which) while I was asleep. In the beginning he would literally stay up to midnight to make sure he didn't sleep through a turn. Then if I heard crying anytime after his "shift" ended, it was up to me to get up and take care of the situation. We had bottles on hand so DH could feed as needed while I slept. Doing it all yourself doesn't seem reasonable if you're both working full time on similar daytime schedules.

(And to this day - DD is 4.5 years - I do almost every Saturday and Sunday morning with DD while DH sleeps because he just doesn't function before 7 am.)

djm31012 · April 2014

When DS was young and I was nursing, i did all the nightly duties. When we switched to formula he was mostly sleeping thru the night but if not we shared wake ups. On the weekends now...we alternate, one of us takes saturday and one of us takes sunday..unless for some reason im already up then Ill do both. DS is usually up before 7

jlaOK · April 2014

Both DS and DD were FF went I went back to work so this wouldn't necessarily work for a BF baby, but this is what we did:

multiple nighttime wake-ups - DH took 10-2 and I took 2-6. Doing all feedings, changing, soothing during your allotted time (exception if the baby was up crying all night or something)

2 wake-ups a night - DH took the first one, I took the 2nd one

1 wake-up - alternate nights

random wake-ups - alternate turns. we are at this phase now. we switch who has the monitor each night. DD rarely wakes up during the night anymore, so it hasn't been a big deal.

DH is a night owl and I'm a morning person so that's how we decided who has what shift. We would also switch things up if one of us traveled or if one person had something going on at work where it was important to get a full night of sleep.

We also split the weekend. DH gets up with the kids on Saturday mornings and I get up with them on Sundays.

jf198400 · April 2014

I BF both kids so I always got up with them at night, but we bed shared so it wasn't a big deal. If we had done FFing we definitely would have split the wake ups. DS was born when DD was 18 months, so DH would handle any of DDs night wakings since I had the baby.
On weekends we do try to take turns letting each other sleep in.

Virgo17 · April 2014

I handle middle of the night wake ups since DH has to be up and out the door by 5:30am. He gets home way earlier than I do most evenings, so he does dinner and baths. He also does more cleaning and dishes than I do. I usually walk in the door, play with the kids for an hour and then it's bedtime.

If I'm feeling really tired, I will go to bed early and he will handle any wake ups until midnight or so. We used to take turns sleeping in on the weekends, but DH has been working a lot on Saturdays lately. In general, I am more of a morning person and DH is more of a night owl. It works out. I have just learned that I need to speak up if I am feeling drained/tired.

SLGILL1978 · April 2014

When DD was that young, I was responsible for it all. My husband was deployed until baby was 5 months. On the weekends, I still tend to get up early with our daughter since my husband has to get up at 4am during the week.

JackieB15 · April 2014

We tried to split the nighttime duties, but after a little bit it became clear to me that DH is not very good at them. He's loud, can't seem to figure out that if she's crying in one position he should maybe try to hold her another way (ONCE it worked the way he holds her all the time), and he usually doesn't hear her when she cries. Because of this I'm usually awake anyway and it takes me less time to get her back down, so I handle it all. I'm not going to pretend there isn't bitterness on my part there.

Unknown · April 2014

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jobiann · April 2014

We FF. When DS was little little both of us would get up or we'd split the nightly duties. And we were lucky because he STTN at four months old. So DS would go to bed around 6:30pm and wake up around 9pm, I'd give him another bottle and then he was out until about 5:30am most nights, in which we just got up for the day at that point.

jasminelorraine20 · April 2014

I nursed DS when he was that little so I was up for all of the nighttime feedings. SO gave the baths, and when DS started solids- he took over that as well.

DiveFrog · April 2014

Until DD was about 10 months and was fairly reliable about STTN and not needing to nurse if she did wake I did all night duties. I went back to work when DD was 4 months and DH had a job where he needed to drive a truck all day. We just couldn't risk having him sleep deprived. That said, those 6months were pretty much hell for me. If there is a next time, DH WILL have to pitch in more. DD was a night owl and took hours to get to sleep at night and was still up once a night. I basically didn't sleep more than 3 consecutive hours her entire first year, either because she was awake, wanting to nurse, or I needed to pump, or get up for work.

Now a year later, DD being a night owl is really nice, because we pretty much all get up as a family on the weekends. DD goes to bed around 8:45-9:30pm and she wakes up between 8-9am. So, that let's both DH and I sleep in on Saturday's and Sunday's. If by some chance she wakes up earlier than 8 (a very rare occasion) she is very happy to just play and talk in her crib for about 30min.

DiveFrog · April 2014

What saved my sanity, was adjusting my expectations for many things (cooking, cleaning, social obligations) in my life during that first year, as well as, accepting as much help as was offered and asking for help when needed, if not offered. Also, even though DH didn't help with overnight parenting he did really pick-up more household responsibilities and took care of a lot of chores that were traditionally my responsibility.

mlee116 · April 2014

I nursed and did all of the MOTN feedings. We tried pumping and getting DH to do some of the feedings but since we did bedsharing, it was just easier for me to nurse so no one had to get up, warm up a bottle, etc. We quit doing MOTN diaper changes at like 2 mos unless DS pooped.

traveltheworld · April 2014

When DS was really little and needed a diaper change along with a feeding, I'd get up and feed him and DH would then take over at least once or twice and change him and get him back to sleep. Once diaper change was no longer necessary, only I got up to feed and put him back to sleep. When DS switched over the formula, DH and I alternated (just whoever wasn't super tired would get up). Now that DS doesn't need to eat and just needs comforting, DH gets up. That only happens once every few weeks though.

On weekends, we take turns on who gets up with DS and who gets to sleep in. DH is very good with helping out.

molisar · April 2014

If/when DS2 wakes up, I am the one to nurse. I can handle less sleep much better and since DS is nursing anyways, it just makes sense for me to do it.

CarrieB. · April 2014

I'm nursing so the MOTN feedings are all on me.

It was easy enough w DD1, she only woke up once at 3am, ate and went back to sleep and started STTN at 9 months.

DD2 is much more difficult. She's 5 months old and still up 3x a night. For a while she would just be awake for a couple hours in the middle of the night. DH has helped out when I was completely losing my mind. But I'm just pretty much living in a never ending state of sleep deprivation. It's a good thing that nursing produces a lot of feel good hormones. I'm sure we'll have to try CIO eventually, but I'm not quite to that point yet. I'm sure most babies aren't this bad though.

ksonne · April 2014

DS2 is still EBF, so I get up to nurse him at night. He's usually up at 2 and 5/6. He's generally pretty content to go right back to sleep, so it's not too bad. DS1 wakes for the day at 6:30, DH always gets up with him. I work a variable schedule, but the days I work I'm up at 5:15. The days I get to sleep in, DH always gets up with the boys and lets me sleep. If DH can, he will take a nap on the days I'm home. DH also shares all household chores 50/50. When we clean up after the boys go to bed, neither of us sits down to relax until we are both done.

junebugrbig · April 2014

With both kids, we took turns on the nighttime bottles. We still share the duties...baths and pajamas, we alternate. We each put one kid down each nite and usually switch each nite who does who. Just works out easier than having one person scramble trying to put two kids to bed and it gets them settled faster, which means more time for us.

88sharonlee · April 2014

I am still nursing but I honestly don't know if our routine would change if we bottle fed. I do all MOTN feeding/wake ups and I'm ok with that, sometimes tired but not mad.

Our routine:
DH picks up from daycare 5:20 (I do drop off in am)
I get home around 6:45
DH cooks dinner, I do dishes
Bath time 2x week together typically
Once LO seems tired 8:00-8:30 I nurse, change into sleep sack, read or listen to music then bed.

Honestly, when LO wakes at night I wake so I'm ok with being the one to go to her, and typically if she wakes she wants to nurse.

If work schedules require we switch drop off and pick up but late night is me for now.

nursebride2be · April 2014

I nurse so it is just easier for me to get up nurse and put lo back to bed. Both my boys have been goodnight time sleepers usually up no more then 20 minutes at night for to nurse and doing 5-6 hour stretches within 2 months. If Lo is taking a while to get back to bed then I will tag dh in and he will rock him. We usually trade off who gets up early on the weekends. Ds1 is usually up at 6 am but is happy to watch videos till we get up around 7.
If we were doing ff then we would probably split the nights

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