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Sleep issues. This feels hopeless!

SunAndRainSunAndRain member
in Working Moms
DD is 21 months and is just crying herself to sleep relentlessly. We tries so hard to sleep train her and it seemed to be working...sort of. We started cio when dd was five or six months.

She cried herself to sleep most nights and fell asleep within 10 minutes. Now she screams herself to sleep and tonight it is taking her forever to fall asleep. I did go in and try to soothe her without picking her up. Eventually she fell asleep after a five minute crying spree. But she is awake now crying once again and I'm feeling a bit like a failure.

Is this normal for her age or do dh and I just suck at bedtime parenting??
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Re: Sleep issues. This feels hopeless!

  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member
    She has been quite sick though is on the mend. Thanks for putting two and two together. Now we are traveling. Maybe things will improve when we return home.
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  • litzo27litzo27 member
    Not to be snarky but do you mean that she has cried herself to sleep for at least 10 minutes every night for the past 15 months? I'm not CIO knowledgable but is that normal? Isn't the goal for them to learn to fall asleep without crying at some point?
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member
    litzo27 said:
    Not to be snarky but do you mean that she has cried herself to sleep for at least 10 minutes every night for the past 15 months? I'm not CIO knowledgable but is that normal? Isn't the goal for them to learn to fall asleep without crying at some point?

    She cries herself to sleep MOST night for NO longer than 10 minutes.  Usually it is a few minutes. 

    Is that normal? I have no idea :(

    It certainly WAS our goal to get her to soothe herself to sleep without any crying at all.

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  • shakinrosshakinros member
    SunAndRain said:


    litzo27 said:

    Not to be snarky but do you mean that she has cried herself to sleep for at least 10 minutes every night for the past 15 months? I'm not CIO knowledgable but is that normal? Isn't the goal for them to learn to fall asleep without crying at some point?



    She cries herself to sleep MOST night for NO longer than 10 minutes.  Usually it is a few minutes. 

    Is that normal? I have no idea :(

    It certainly WAS our goal to get her to soothe herself to sleep without any crying at all.

    I think this is normal for some kids. They need to release some tension before they can fall asleep. I hope she feels better soon!
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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    I just wanted to offer a hug. My DD was a terrible sleeper until 2 1/2 or 3. We did CIO for a long time and a bunch of other stuff. Does your DD go to sleep pretty early? The only thing that helped (a little, did NOT solve or provide a magic bulllet) us was to switch to a 630 bedtime though we did that pretty early, at maybe 7-8 months. It got later as she got older, closer to 2.  We have twins & her brother did not have the same sleep issues so I will tell you that it is very child dependent since we were obviously using the same exact approach to sleeping w/ both of them & he was fine and she did not do well.
    It might not help you now but just to tell you, it got better when she was older & they have actually reversed their sleep issues around 3 1/2 or so, he started staying up WAY LATE (like he is up in his room until 10pm many nights just looking at books & refusing to go to sleep) and she goes to sleep after we do bedtime routine relatively easily.
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  • chloebeth930chloebeth930 member
    We had this issue with DD as well. We started putting her to bed just a little bit later and it worked wonders for us.  I believe the article I read suggested putting them to bed later for the amount of time that they lay crying in bed.  For us that was 30 mins later.  She still fusses at first and then talks to herself in bed for about 20 mins before she falls asleep, but this has helped us soo much!
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  • dglvrk2dglvrk2 member
    I agree with @chloebeth930‌: try putting her to bed a little later. Also do you have other bed time routines? Bath, stories etc? Our oldest is 2 and 1/2. She's been a pretty good sleeper. We had to let her CIO frequently when she was about 10 months. We've had a few regressions since then, but nothing major. She definitely goes down better when we follow our night routine (bath, pjs, snack, brush teeth, story, bed).
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